The Equator Penis Measuring System (EPMS) is the system that gives an approximation of one's penis size. Generally speaking, the closer you live to the Ecuador, the larger your penis is. For example, Africans and Latin Americans living on the equator will have penises measuring around 11 or 12 inches hard, while the English and Scottish living up north have penises measuring 3 inches flaccid, or up to 5 inches hard. There are also intermediate points. Italians, for example, have penises about 6 inches flaccid, and 8 inches hard.
Example of the Equator Penis Measuring System
Canadian: Eh, my penis is aboot 3 inches.
Italian: What's a matta you, uh?? I got a 8 inch sausage! It could slap you and break-a your face!!
Black guy: Y'all niggas is small. I got 12 inches up in this muthafucka. Y'all my bitches now. SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!! SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!!
Canadian: Eh, my penis is aboot 3 inches.
Italian: What's a matta you, uh?? I got a 8 inch sausage! It could slap you and break-a your face!!
Black guy: Y'all niggas is small. I got 12 inches up in this muthafucka. Y'all my bitches now. SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!! SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!!
by rogerthewhale March 08, 2013
Get the Equator Penis Measuring System mug.1. The act of jerkin' it to the person you are obsessed with, or have a romantic desire for.
2. How a hopeless romantic, or extremely desperate person, masturbates.
2. How a hopeless romantic, or extremely desperate person, masturbates.
I am totally infatuated with Claire. I infatubate to the thoughts of making sweet love with her. Then I blow my load and imagine staring into her eyes. Infatubation at it's finest!
by rogerthewhale December 26, 2012
Get the Infatubation mug.The failure to shoot your load as you reach orgasm. The misfire may be due to a recent ejaculation, or chasing an orgasm way to soon.
Bill: I jerked it for the 4th time today and tried too hard to reach orgasm and I misfired.
Bob: Dafuq is your problem man?! You don't tell me shit like that. Later dude, enjoy your blue balls.
Bob: Dafuq is your problem man?! You don't tell me shit like that. Later dude, enjoy your blue balls.
by rogerthewhale January 15, 2013
Get the Misfire mug.John: "Look at that sodium hydroxide eat away at that aluminum. What a strong basic and caustic compound."
Ashley: "Oh my god. That totally reminds me of Jessica. She's so basic, the other day she was wearing yoga pants and wearing uggs and drinking a starbucks and talking on her iphone and..."
John: "Shut up bitch, and learn proper English."
Ashley: "Oh my god. That totally reminds me of Jessica. She's so basic, the other day she was wearing yoga pants and wearing uggs and drinking a starbucks and talking on her iphone and..."
John: "Shut up bitch, and learn proper English."
by rogerthewhale October 25, 2014
Get the Basic mug.When somebody questions another and takes the opposite viewpoint on a particular subject in a way to provoke thinking, they play devils advocate. Asshole's advocate does the same, but makes himself look like a total fucking asshole.
Devils Advocate:
Jim: The government should really crack down on gun owners. With stricter laws, people would be safer from criminals.
Bob: Then what happens if the government takes away guns, and a criminal comes in with a weapon off the black market. What do you do? I'm just playing devil's advocate.
Asshole's Advocate:
Bill: I think I'll leave college a couple years early. I would be happier pursing my passion for art than I would getting my law degree.
Steve: Then what will you do when somebody says to your face that you're a fucking failure and an art bitch who flunked out of school? Then your shitty art goes nowhere and you can't get a job because you're fucking stupid. I'm just playing devil's advocate.
Bill: You're playing asshole's advocate you judgmental piece of crap.
Jim: The government should really crack down on gun owners. With stricter laws, people would be safer from criminals.
Bob: Then what happens if the government takes away guns, and a criminal comes in with a weapon off the black market. What do you do? I'm just playing devil's advocate.
Asshole's Advocate:
Bill: I think I'll leave college a couple years early. I would be happier pursing my passion for art than I would getting my law degree.
Steve: Then what will you do when somebody says to your face that you're a fucking failure and an art bitch who flunked out of school? Then your shitty art goes nowhere and you can't get a job because you're fucking stupid. I'm just playing devil's advocate.
Bill: You're playing asshole's advocate you judgmental piece of crap.
by rogerthewhale December 13, 2012
Get the Asshole's Advocate mug.One who pisses the shit streaks off public toilets for the greater good.
A term made famous by the Collegehumor movie Coffee Town
A term made famous by the Collegehumor movie Coffee Town
He's a great guy. I went in there the other day and took a very adult shit. When I walked out, he walked in. I went back in there and all the skid marks... completely gone! That guy... he's a poop chipper.
by rogerthewhale September 01, 2013
Get the Poop Chipper mug.A piece of paper which is inserted into a stripper's butt to get her to take off her clothes.
Also a device used to snort coke.
Also a device used to snort coke.
If you never realized that approximately 73% of $1 bills in circulation have been in a strippers butt at one time or another, well now you know. Have fun with your money germaphobes.
by rogerthewhale March 12, 2014
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