Definitions by ral_phie

Wife Tax 

Its a funny way to say that your wife gets a cut of any unexpected financial gain. Like if you hit a lottery or win a big bet the wife gets her share.

Yeah bro I was in Vegas and won $500 playing craps but after the Wife Tax of 40% I only got to keep $300.

Wife Tax by Ral_phie September 15, 2021

headset fake 

The act of wearing a telephone headset prior to going to talk to someone who is either a bore or take much more time than needed. When you tire of the conversation you act like you are answering your phone and walk away. Very useful when the use of the kaygina shuffle is difficult.

I have to go talk to Bill, I am wearing my headset so I can make a quick exit by using a headset fake and pretending to answer a phone call

headset fake by Ral_phie June 11, 2010

K'inch 

a form of measurement or measurement technique that is more accurate than any national standard. Usually used to justify some type of measurement. not to be confused by a voodoo cal.

I can't calibrate this balance because i only brought a jeff's worth of mass, I'll have to use my body weight as measured to the k'inch. I'm going to have to k'inch this measurement to get it to pass.

K'inch by Ral_phie June 11, 2010

shawlift 

The act of stealing an item or items from a custoner to the benefit of your current company. This is common in field service. Usualy the items are of little or no value to the company that lost them

Tech 1

That is a nice set of leads, how did you get the company to pay for them.
Tech 2

I did a shawlift at the company I was at last week. They had dozens of them laying around.

shawlift by Ral_phie January 24, 2010

reverse shawlift

The act where items that you or your company owns is stolen while performing service at their site.

I had to go to the store and get more batteries and pens, because I got reverse shawlifted so much at that one company

reverse shawlift by Ral_phie January 24, 2010

guylift 

When someone you work with borrows something from you but doesn't return it.

I started to lock my stuff up because I got tired of if getting guylifted

He is a nice guy but he will guylift your tools

guylift by Ral_phie January 24, 2010

Jedi Council 

The group of techs that are at the top of the food chain in any lab. They always have the best stuff, and are usually prima donna's. In the bigger group are a small number of groups of ever shifting aliances. The groups are normally social, but at times will try to take the top dog down.

The company has 4 labs but the Jedi Council resides in the big lab. Be careful they might seem nice but are like wolves who can smell a wounded bleeding victim.

Jedi Council by Ral_phie January 9, 2010