Definitions by q359

ban hammer 

The ban hammer is a power that website moderators have access to, that makes them feel as if they are dictators of the universe because they run a tiny little corner of the Internet, and that they wield like a club, to silence and intimidate any user who doesn't bow down to their fake Internet authority, or questions their decisions, which are always infallible, of course, because they are gods.

When the only conflict-resolution tool you have is a ban hammer, every problem looks like a nail.

ban hammer by q359 July 25, 2023

DINKWAD

Dual Income, No Kids, With A Dog

This neighborhood is full of smug DINKWAD couples.

DINKWAD by q359 July 25, 2023

Hikaru Nakamura 

A dude who is usually the world's #4 or #5 chess player based on whatever the current standings are, and also, a major fucking dick with anger issues.

Hikaru Nakamura is so good at chess that he'll beat you playing the Bongcloud, and then punch you in the face.

Hikaru Nakamura by q359 July 25, 2023

think for yourself 

An exhortation that, taken at face value, is actually good advice, except that when people tell you to do it, they don't ACTUALLY mean "Think for yourself", they mean "Reject mainstream news sources, and trust fringe, loony ones". On the rare occasion that they don't mean this, they still mean "Think for yourself, and agree with me!" At no time, when anybody ever tells you to think for yourself, does the thought ever cross their mind that you could possibly think for yourself, and reach a different conclusion from the one that they reached, or one that is even opposite to the one that they reached.

"Vaccines are poison, and chemtrails are causing birth defects! Think for yourself, watch this poorly-researched YouTube video, and you will agree with me!"

think for yourself by q359 July 25, 2023

fucktangle 

The geometric shape of something that has been smashed beyond recognition.

That truck used to be a rectangle until the dumbass crashed it, now it's a fucktangle.

fucktangle by q359 July 25, 2023

neart 

The lesser cousin of a fart, a neart is to a fart as near is to far. A fart that didn't go far. Nearly a fart.

I thought I had to fart but it was just a little seepage of gas, it was a neart.

neart by q359 July 25, 2023

alternative facts 

A term that REALLY just fucking means lies, but thanks to postmodernism, we're not allowed to call them that anymore, because everyone's viewpoint is equally valid, there is no such thing as a false narrative, and everyone is entitled to their own personal reality.

You say the sun is made of hydrogen and helium, I say it's made of whale farts and silly string! Those are my alternative facts! Nobody is right or wrong, there is no such thing as objectivity, we have to respect everyone's viewpoint!

alternative facts by q359 July 25, 2023