pollup's definitions
by Pollup January 14, 2008
Get the Cunt mufflermug. A really, really huge black dude who pimps out skinny white dudes. Cock vendors are usually named Aram or Jeeves and they always carry a machete. They are descendants of the great "Harry White," a prostitution visionary.
You can find cock vendors in most large cities hanging out on the corner pretending to be Rastafarians. Don't be fooled - the hair is fake.
Not to be confused with pimps.
You can find cock vendors in most large cities hanging out on the corner pretending to be Rastafarians. Don't be fooled - the hair is fake.
Not to be confused with pimps.
by Pollup December 11, 2007
Get the cock vendormug. Man, my grandma was really horny last night. I decided to oblige after she took her teeth out.
Fumbling in the poorly lit bedroom, I couldn't find my tube of lube. She moaned "give it to me Hansel!"
Shuddering with disgust, I closed off my left nostril and blew a filthy, brown-green snot clot all over her clitoris (which was withered and deformed with age).
Then I gave her a hard hump and had my first official booger sex.
Fumbling in the poorly lit bedroom, I couldn't find my tube of lube. She moaned "give it to me Hansel!"
Shuddering with disgust, I closed off my left nostril and blew a filthy, brown-green snot clot all over her clitoris (which was withered and deformed with age).
Then I gave her a hard hump and had my first official booger sex.
by Pollup December 11, 2007
Get the booger sexmug. When a big fat guy steps on your belly and ruptures your intestines. The poop squishes down into you scrotum causing your testicles to get all shitty.
by Pollup January 11, 2008
Get the Shitesticlesmug. When a terrorist is about to set off a suicide bomb in the middle of a Middle Eastern market and shits himself before he can set off the bomb. Generally, the poo flies all over the place and ruins all the food in the market.
Akmed: sup Mohammed? Wow, this market is really packed, eh? Check out Abdul with his big, fancy chicken stand over there. Oh, look at me; I'm Abdul and I think I'm so important with my magical chicken stand. I provide protein for people and think I'm the hottest shit in town.
Mohammed: Ha ha. So true, so true. And what's with the ridiculous hat? Like, is the guy too cool to wear a turban? He thinks he's so Western with his flashy ball cap...it says "New York Mets" on it. What the fuck is that?
Akmed: I KNOW! Have you ever seen his wife? She doesn't even wear a Burka - like HELLO? Um...I wonder if she's going to hell.
Mohammed: Maybe she's a New York Met. Maybe that's what the hat means. Like, yeah...I'm Kuljeet and I'm Abdul's wife and I want to be New York Met - I'm so cool. Or maybe it means that she is not a virgin? Who knows. They are freaking weird.
Akmed: oh,oh -watch! He's killing the chicken. JUST DO IT ALREADY! Oh shit, do you think he heard me? Ha ha...duck! Ok, he didn't see us. I hate that about him. He always has to toss the chicken up in the air and then cut it's head off with -
************BOOM************!
Akmed: What happened?
Mohammed: Run! Suicide bomber!!!!!!!!!!!
Akmed: No, wait - what is that all over...?
Mohammed: Sick. Dude. There's shit everywhere. Must've been one of those suicide shitters. That is nasty.
Akmed: Yeah, like seriously. Hold it together for just another second, man. I hate those guys that are all scared and crap there pants right before. So lame.
Mohammed: I know. Ha ha - look! Abdul's stand has shit all over it. YEAH BITCH! Try and sell those chickens now, motherfucker! What a loser.
Akmed: Let's go take a shower.
Mohammed: uh...
Mohammed: Ha ha. So true, so true. And what's with the ridiculous hat? Like, is the guy too cool to wear a turban? He thinks he's so Western with his flashy ball cap...it says "New York Mets" on it. What the fuck is that?
Akmed: I KNOW! Have you ever seen his wife? She doesn't even wear a Burka - like HELLO? Um...I wonder if she's going to hell.
Mohammed: Maybe she's a New York Met. Maybe that's what the hat means. Like, yeah...I'm Kuljeet and I'm Abdul's wife and I want to be New York Met - I'm so cool. Or maybe it means that she is not a virgin? Who knows. They are freaking weird.
Akmed: oh,oh -watch! He's killing the chicken. JUST DO IT ALREADY! Oh shit, do you think he heard me? Ha ha...duck! Ok, he didn't see us. I hate that about him. He always has to toss the chicken up in the air and then cut it's head off with -
************BOOM************!
Akmed: What happened?
Mohammed: Run! Suicide bomber!!!!!!!!!!!
Akmed: No, wait - what is that all over...?
Mohammed: Sick. Dude. There's shit everywhere. Must've been one of those suicide shitters. That is nasty.
Akmed: Yeah, like seriously. Hold it together for just another second, man. I hate those guys that are all scared and crap there pants right before. So lame.
Mohammed: I know. Ha ha - look! Abdul's stand has shit all over it. YEAH BITCH! Try and sell those chickens now, motherfucker! What a loser.
Akmed: Let's go take a shower.
Mohammed: uh...
by Pollup January 31, 2008
Get the Suicide Shittermug. A casual reference to someone that you don't hate, but think is a really huge loser. There is no reason for thinking he is a loser, he just is.
Generally, dink touchers are super nice guys with lots of friends. However, when you meet them, you just think: "man, this guy is a huge dink toucher."
When you are hanging around with dink touchers, you generally pretend to be friends with them. But when you get home, you complain to your wife/girlfriend about how much they suck and that you don't want to hang around with them any more. Then your wife/girlfriend gets mad at you and asks you to explain why that guy was a dink toucher. You don't have an explanation and lose the argument. Then you end up hanging around with the guy over and over again.
Generally, dink touchers are super nice guys with lots of friends. However, when you meet them, you just think: "man, this guy is a huge dink toucher."
When you are hanging around with dink touchers, you generally pretend to be friends with them. But when you get home, you complain to your wife/girlfriend about how much they suck and that you don't want to hang around with them any more. Then your wife/girlfriend gets mad at you and asks you to explain why that guy was a dink toucher. You don't have an explanation and lose the argument. Then you end up hanging around with the guy over and over again.
Last night I was hanging out with my wife's work friends. There was this one guy, Steve, and he was a super-huge dink toucher.
How so?
I don't know. He just was.
How so?
I don't know. He just was.
by Pollup December 25, 2007
Get the dink touchermug. Man, that guy has the mumps!
What?! Man, his testicles must be harshly sterile and inflamed.
Yeah. Nasty.
What?! Man, his testicles must be harshly sterile and inflamed.
Yeah. Nasty.
by Pollup December 29, 2007
Get the mumpsmug.