phil bailey's definitions

Five way friday

Having sex with five people, on a friday

"Damn, I can't wait for five way friday"

by Phil Bailey April 13, 2005

Fancy black hair

The condition whereby a man with black hair takes an inordinately and suspiciously long time at the hair dresser

"You know that Duffield is a miserable cunt, you know the cunt who decided to hang my shit out the window?"
"What the guy with the red hair?"
"NO, DUFFIELD'S THE CUNT WITH THE FANCY BLACK HAIR!!!!"

by Phil Bailey April 14, 2005

pig rooter

Man who will fuck any girl, regardless of how fat and ugly she is

Oh man, that guy is a total pigrooter, did you see the fatty he did last night?

by Phil Bailey April 13, 2005

split the charge

A non-existent defence, used by those who mistakenly believe that if a crime is committed in conjunction with others, the charge can be split, thereby reducing one's sentence (has been used in conjunction with the defence bender your honour)

"Bender your Honour! My client was hoping that as he committed the offence with his two mates, they could all split the charge"
(Judge) "throw the defendant in jail!"

by Phil Bailey April 13, 2005

lock of the week

a term used to convince others to sports invest there entire account balance on a relatively unlikely sports outcome

"Listen, you have to put it all on the Melbourne Storm against the Panthers tonight, it's my lock of the week"
You then proceed to lose a grand, and have to drink yourself to death

by Phil Bailey April 13, 2005

Hummer girl

Girl employed to do nothing other than give you a hummer

"when i win the lottery, i am getting a hummer girl"

by Phil Bailey April 13, 2005

Bender your honour

Used as a repeated excuse, for unforgivable behaviour, as a result of drinking too much

(message left on answering machine) "Phil, do you remember me walking in on you fucking my sister last night? you are so off, also, my cat's pregnant"
(first words spoken on return phone call to own brother)"Bender your honour!"

by Phil Bailey April 13, 2005