1)The act of adding melodrama to everything you do, even to the point that brushing your teeth is poignant and suspensful.
2)The act of leaving a job when it is at its most profitable, aging 50 years and getting on a CSI spin-off.
2)The act of leaving a job when it is at its most profitable, aging 50 years and getting on a CSI spin-off.
1)William Shatner doesn't actually caruso when he acts, although it seems a bit over the top. He is actually fitted with an undergarment ice cup to dip his balls in, to get that speech pattern. Only Caruso can caruso as truly as is humanly possible.
2)I liked the blow-job she was giving me, but I had to finish my term paper. I made an excuse to leave, without realizing I had carusoed and wouldn't dip the wick for another 6 months.
2)I liked the blow-job she was giving me, but I had to finish my term paper. I made an excuse to leave, without realizing I had carusoed and wouldn't dip the wick for another 6 months.
by Pantaloon January 07, 2008
The act of shitting in a lunch box instead of making a healthy meal. Frequent occurrence on the Popular American Television show, "The Brady Bunch."
Peter Brady opened up his Scooby Doo Lunch box to the undeniable pungency of Alice's Lunch. He tossed the fetid pile at Buddy Hinton, who was just glad it wasn't a bowl of her famous hershey squirts. Alice was always had a couple of zingers ready, that was for sure.
by Pantaloon January 28, 2008
1)An organization that attempts to use creativity and higher levels of cognition to help to make the world a better place.
2)A place where neo-conservatives remove their brains and place them in a pot of boiling water. The results are then eaten just before the participants go on talk shows. Sometimes the hosts are even brought a small plate of the delicacy before the taping, to help them concentrate. Lou Dobbs is reportedly a big fan, while Bill O'Reilly does not partake. The hellfire burning in his belly is eternal, and does not need replenishment.
2)A place where neo-conservatives remove their brains and place them in a pot of boiling water. The results are then eaten just before the participants go on talk shows. Sometimes the hosts are even brought a small plate of the delicacy before the taping, to help them concentrate. Lou Dobbs is reportedly a big fan, while Bill O'Reilly does not partake. The hellfire burning in his belly is eternal, and does not need replenishment.
1)We formed a think tank to solve the problem of global warming, but thought it might be more fun to take our Escalades and Hummers out for a spin around the capitol building.
2)Before they prepared my frontal cortex for the think tank, the procedure was explained to me. They remove the areas of critical thinking, and leave only rage and the speech centers. I didn't mind, as these areas had atrophied years ago. Lip-smackin' good!
2)Before they prepared my frontal cortex for the think tank, the procedure was explained to me. They remove the areas of critical thinking, and leave only rage and the speech centers. I didn't mind, as these areas had atrophied years ago. Lip-smackin' good!
by Pantaloon January 16, 2008
Track marks left by underpants rubbing against a soiled starfish. Similar to skid marks, but lighter brown color. Almost beige. Possibly due to differences in diet from those who produce skid marks. Some studies have been done, but nothing conclusive has been published as this goes to print.
Girl, glancing at the floor- You don't have a hash mark in your boxers.
Fellow-You seem surprised.
Girl- Oh, most of the guys that come in here have them. 19 out of 20, I'd say.
Fellow, puffing out his chest- Well, then, thank you much. Is that what I smelled walked in here?
Girl-No, that's just my upper lip, from the Dirty Sanchez I had for breakfast.
Fellow- I thought you said I was your first!
Girl-Oh, yeah, you're right. I guess I must have just shit myself.
Fellow, relieved- Oh, Thank God!
Fellow-You seem surprised.
Girl- Oh, most of the guys that come in here have them. 19 out of 20, I'd say.
Fellow, puffing out his chest- Well, then, thank you much. Is that what I smelled walked in here?
Girl-No, that's just my upper lip, from the Dirty Sanchez I had for breakfast.
Fellow- I thought you said I was your first!
Girl-Oh, yeah, you're right. I guess I must have just shit myself.
Fellow, relieved- Oh, Thank God!
by Pantaloon January 14, 2008
1)European word for cell phone.
2)Also known as coochie war cry, the slapping of the hand furiously against the vagina to arouse the warriors.
3)hand job.
4)A short skirt with little or no undergarmentry, to allow ready access.
2)Also known as coochie war cry, the slapping of the hand furiously against the vagina to arouse the warriors.
3)hand job.
4)A short skirt with little or no undergarmentry, to allow ready access.
1)We were able to get three bars on the Handy when we took the u-bahn Unter dem Linden.
2)Vera asked me for a Handie before she went in to ask for a raise. She leaned her backend across the aisle and I was able to slap her waggle silly from the comfort of my own cubicle.
3)Before the big sales presentation, I asked Wendy for a handy, just to steady my nerves, but she would only give me a bronski and a hummer.
4)Sarah wore a handy into the office, and was ready for dictation with minimal fabric displacement.
2)Vera asked me for a Handie before she went in to ask for a raise. She leaned her backend across the aisle and I was able to slap her waggle silly from the comfort of my own cubicle.
3)Before the big sales presentation, I asked Wendy for a handy, just to steady my nerves, but she would only give me a bronski and a hummer.
4)Sarah wore a handy into the office, and was ready for dictation with minimal fabric displacement.
by Pantaloon January 15, 2008
A form of torture created by Pontius Pilate, the man who crucified the savior. It's not as easy as you might think. St. Paul was certified in Pilates and Advanced Spin. The original 12 wanted to emphasize diet (bread, wine, omega 3s from fish oil, etc.) This caused quite a schism as you might imagine. This went on for awhile, until the Serfing craze caught on with the Barbarian invasion of Ringo, George, Cedric, and Dagobert.
After the crucifixion,a lot of fitness buffs tried to jump on the band wagon so Pilate was forced opened a gym (Pilates Fitness, inc.) at the local coliseum and hire some trainers. The gold members were given the "Martyr" card.
by Pantaloon January 17, 2008
see pre-cum,precum
Named for William Cowper, the man on whom it was discovered that a few drops of liquid form at the tip of his dick when it is aroused, and twas thought it might be a little something to leave the kids in the form of a legacy.
Named for William Cowper, the man on whom it was discovered that a few drops of liquid form at the tip of his dick when it is aroused, and twas thought it might be a little something to leave the kids in the form of a legacy.
One day in London, circa 1890, James Worthington, Thomas Haley, and William Cowper were just hanging out at the lab with their Starbucks Mochachinos, calculating the orbits of moons, looking through microscopes, and whatnot, when Haley jumped up and exclaimed, "Cowper, don't move! Stay exactly the way you are!"
Worthington had his eye on the microscope looking at some platelets, when he turned toward Cowper, who was stroking himself absentmindedly. This was nothing unusual in the course of things, but Haley rummaged through the flasks and vials, and found a long q-tip and a test tube, and stepped gingerly toward Cowper's member.
"What on earth are you doing, Haley?!" Worthington implored.
"Sshush, James! You'll scare it away."
Haley reached in, as if offering a perch to a hummingbird and gently dabbed the end of Cowper's manhood, giving the stick gentle half turns with each dip. "Alas, I have it."
Cowper was sitting as if in a stupor, and relaxed the hold on his dick. He was experimenting with a technique his colleague Jefferson Kegel had shown him, and so was a bit otherwise absorbed.
They placed the q-tip under the slide and each took a taste. "Hmmm, it's not quite jism, is it Worthy?"
"No, something different. Cowper's fluid is somehow unique."
"And so it is," Haley announced. "Henceforth this stuff from the end of Bill's nub will be called "Cowper's fluid."
There was much rejoicing and merriment, and the ladies brought in trays of whiskey and a violin was produced. A great celebration was had by all.
Worthington had his eye on the microscope looking at some platelets, when he turned toward Cowper, who was stroking himself absentmindedly. This was nothing unusual in the course of things, but Haley rummaged through the flasks and vials, and found a long q-tip and a test tube, and stepped gingerly toward Cowper's member.
"What on earth are you doing, Haley?!" Worthington implored.
"Sshush, James! You'll scare it away."
Haley reached in, as if offering a perch to a hummingbird and gently dabbed the end of Cowper's manhood, giving the stick gentle half turns with each dip. "Alas, I have it."
Cowper was sitting as if in a stupor, and relaxed the hold on his dick. He was experimenting with a technique his colleague Jefferson Kegel had shown him, and so was a bit otherwise absorbed.
They placed the q-tip under the slide and each took a taste. "Hmmm, it's not quite jism, is it Worthy?"
"No, something different. Cowper's fluid is somehow unique."
"And so it is," Haley announced. "Henceforth this stuff from the end of Bill's nub will be called "Cowper's fluid."
There was much rejoicing and merriment, and the ladies brought in trays of whiskey and a violin was produced. A great celebration was had by all.
by Pantaloon January 09, 2008