oldemberg's definitions

snowman

Someone who sells cocaine.

Do you want to be a snowmaaaaaaaannnn?
Come on let's sell cocaaaaiiinnee!!

cocaine snowman

by oldemberg June 7, 2014

terms and conditions

That long ass wall of text no one bothered reading, yet everyone agrees.

I hereby blah blah blah.... Any reproduction blah blah blah.... Just let me install my fucking Dark Soul terms and conditions.

by oldemberg May 24, 2014

Television

A device used for brainwashing

Don't eat everything you see in television

by oldemberg May 12, 2014

China

One big ass factory of Asians and things.

80% of my belongings are made in China. I am currently dating a girl who also was made in China

by oldemberg May 12, 2014

Religion

Worse than the government. Religion is an unnecessary organization of people with a unanimous belief on a fictional celestial being living in the sky. It is an organization disguised to conduct moral standard but in reality, it is a money grubbing, mind controlling bastards who can't understand science.

"Religion is bullshit" - George Carlin

Teacher: Class, does anyone knows why God forbid Adam and Eve from eating the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge?

Students: So, that sin won't spread to the people

Teacher: No! It's because God feared that one day, people might discover that He actually doesn't exist

by oldemberg April 29, 2014

madness

It's like gravity, all it takes is a little..... PUSH!

Madness? THIS IS SPARTAAAAA!!!!

by oldemberg February 7, 2014

depression

A really really fucked up mental illness/ mental disorder, usually accompanied by anxiety disorder which causes a person to have an uncontrollable paranoia. Depression is a lack of hormones and imbalance of chemicals in the brain. Depression makes a person weak, lazy, and very very pessimist. This shit should not be underestimated, It drains all your energy and your vision of your life.

Common Myths/ Misconception:

Depression can be cured through will and positive thinking
Depression is only in your brain, it is not a mental illness go to a bar have sex then you will be cured.
Depression is just an excuse for being lazy

MAJOR BULLSHIT! Depression is an actual MENTAL ILLNESS.

Because of depression Dave never go to a party.
Because of depression Alfred didn't apply for a job.

by oldemberg February 7, 2014