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newsvava's definitions

The most spectacular event imaginable in the universe.

Preceded by if/when/unless to represent the sort of circumstances under which you might change your mind about something.
Girl 1: Are you coming to Josh's party tonight?

Girl 2: Meh, I gots to work tomorrow. But call me when you're there if Angelina Jolie turns gay with Megan Fox.

**Later that night**

Girl 1: Hey! They just found Osama bin Laden hiding in Josh's basement!!

Girl 2: Dude, I'm sleeping. I said to call me if Angelina Jolie turned gay with Megan Fox.
by newsvava February 12, 2009
mugGet the angelina jolie turns gay with megan foxmug.

facesuck

Noun. A facebook message that sucks, often due to its level of gayness.

Verb. To suck at facebook, for example by sending only messages that are boring and/or totally gay.
Girl 1: Did you hear Colleen got engaged?!

Girl 2: I know, yawn. She sent me the gayest facesuck.

Girl 1: Yeah, Colleen sucks in real life and she facesucks.
by newsvava February 11, 2009
mugGet the facesuckmug.

sexy casual

When a member of the opposite sex acts so casual around you, you become fixated on having sex with them.
Girl 1: Dude, I'm dying to sleep with my boss. He is being so sexy casual with me.

Girl 2: Is he being sexy casual or does he just not care about you?

Girl 1: I can't tell. His sexy casual is masterful.

Girl 2: Ooh, good luck having sex with him.
by newsvava February 12, 2009
mugGet the sexy casualmug.

baby unicorn tears

Guy: Baby, the airport's closed and I can't make it home for Christmas!

Girl: Are you serious?! Baby unicorn tears!
by newsvava February 12, 2009
mugGet the baby unicorn tearsmug.

hells mells

Totally relaxed and chill, a.k.a. hella mellow.
Girl 1: So I hear you scared off George Clooney with your repeated text messages.

Girl 2: Whatever!! I sent him like TWO texts. It was hells mells!

Girl 1: Whoa, you need to mellow out. You know George Clooney scares off easily.
by newsvava February 12, 2009
mugGet the hells mellsmug.

hello program

If you are required to say hello to someone when you see them, you are on a hello program with them.

The hello list is comprised of all the individual people with whom you are on a hello program.
Girl: Hello

Guy: Hello

Girl's friend: Why the fuck did you say hello to that guy?

Girl: Gaa, he bought my textbook. Now we're on an eternal hello program.
by newsvava February 13, 2009
mugGet the hello programmug.

Douché

Douché: A retort for when someone corrects or one-ups you in a total douchebag-like fashion that serves only to ruin the moment.
Me: "i had the CRAZIEST time last night! At the Strokes concert, they played a cover of All Along the Watchtower – you know, the Jimi Hendrix song? – anyway, their bass player pulled me up on stage and I sang the chorus with the band!! It was fucking amazing!!"

Idiot: Actually, Along Along the Watchtower is originally a Bob Dylan song. And it doesn't really have a chorus at all – it's not structured like that."

Me: Douché.
by newsvava March 5, 2009
mugGet the Douchémug.

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