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mr. softey's definitions

tissue issues

The perplexing conundrums that arise from leaving evidence of a recent masturbation session laying about.
Conrad: Holy crap! We've got to go back to the apartment before Pam wakes up, I forgot I left a bunch of used kleenex by the computer!
Farnsworth: Hey, your tissue issues aren't going to make me late to work, Sgt. Spank-o-tron!
by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009
mugGet the tissue issuesmug.

Beeftown

A room that is awash with a lingering, beefy aroma that is usually associated with the massive ingestion of meat products and the flatulence produced by them.
"Let's try to stay upwind of Beeftown until the fog clears."

"The mayor of Beeftown shits on a throne of lies."

"Welcome to Beeftown, population: you."

"Mauro and his family are summering in Beeftown and they're having quite a lovely time."
by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009
mugGet the Beeftownmug.

Butterball Effect

A scientific theory which explains that regularly eating butter, even a small pat, will eventually turn you into a fat butterball.
At the 10 year High School Reunion.....

Gerard: Hey check out Sylvia, she's a total hefer! She used to be hot, what happened?

Chuck: Dude, It's called the Butterball Effect, all those empty fat calories have wreaked their damnable havoc on her once fine physique.

Gerard: Say what now?
by Mr. Softey January 25, 2009
mugGet the Butterball Effectmug.

Hairy Plotter

One who is planning to shave or trim their pubic hair.
Josh: I'm thinking of waxing off the magic wand.
Buck: It's about time Hairy Plotter!
Josh: Silence "He who must not be wanged"!
Buck: Say what now?
by Mr. Softey January 30, 2009
mugGet the Hairy Plottermug.

Johnny Redchips

A card player who has amassed a large collection of, mostly red poker chips. Since reds are the lowest valued chip, it makes you look like you have a lot of money when you really don't.
"Another massive three dollar pot taken down by Johnny Redchips!"

"Can anybody break a five? Johnny Redchips is cashing out."

"You see my dollar and raise me a quarter? Why, that's too rich for my blood, Johnny Redchips!"
by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009
mugGet the Johnny Redchipsmug.

Ballcockery

An act of sexual mischief. Up to no good in a naughty fashion.
"I thought Marcus was me best mate, but he was up to all manner of ballcockery with me wife."

"Methinks Ted and Alice are engaged in acts of wanton ballcockery."

"Wouldst thou join me in a bit of ballcockery, love?"
by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009
mugGet the Ballcockerymug.

Pop Shoppe

"If Janelle has a few more Cosmos, I might be going to the 'ol Pop Shoppe later."

"No honeymoon is complete without a trip to the Pop Shoppe."

"It's my birthday and I pray to god the Pop Shoppe is open tonight!"
by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009
mugGet the Pop Shoppemug.

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