mike oxhard 's definitions

tie

1. a garment worn around the neck helpful in identifying workers who have been rendered eunuchs by their employers and/or someone who thinks looking important is more important than being comfortable enough to do actual work.

2. also helps dominatrixes identify potential clients who are passives.

(Origin: when slave-catchers would tie a rope around a slave's neck. Also, symbolizes iron collar and chain used to restrain slaves).

That poor dickless fuck has to wear a tie to work.

by Mike Oxhard July 13, 2006

republican

The American political party that protects the interests of the very wealthy and corporations by lowering their tax and regulatory burden, and making it easier for businesses to get cheap labor and cheap natural resources both at home and abroad.

Since the natural constituency for this agenda is very small, the party panders to religious zealots, racists, and the marginally retarded. Fortunately for the Republicans, the issues that activate this base usually cost nothing and have almost no overlap with their actual economic agenda.

Among wealthy: We need a Republican congress to get rid of that dreadful inheritance tax.

Among stupid: It was the Republicans what said we gonna git a flag burning amendment.

by Mike Oxhard August 15, 2006

near queer

Not quite openly gay or consciously aware of being gay.

He said he's not gay, but he's sure as hell near queer.

by Mike Oxhard July 11, 2006

back boob

a fatty deposit on the back that hangs in such a way that it resembles a nippleless breast. May sometimes result from a bra that is too tight, causing temporary back boobs. Mostly seen on very fat women or men with manboobs.

"He's got a sick fetish--he goes to the nude beach just to look at back boobs."

by Mike Oxhard September 30, 2006

ground hog dump

a bowel movement that is so large and impacted that you can squeeze out a portion, but can't pinch it off, so it goes back in.

After that ground hog dump, I need some laxatives.

by Mike Oxhard July 11, 2006

Cat Scan

When you grab the inside of a females thigh and can feel her heartbeat.

Connor told me he gave Michelle a Cat Scan

by mike oxhard December 23, 2020

cornhole

n. anus.

v. insert in anus

(origin: inspired by widespread use of corncobs for both toilet paper and butt plugs in the South and Midwest)

n. Wipe your cornhole before ya pull up yur pants, Ennis.

v. You cornhole that pig, and yur buying it.

by Mike Oxhard July 12, 2006