me old fruity's definitions

e meter

a trick employed by scientologists to try to scam you into taking their 'therapy' sessions at $400 a pop. here is a guide. beware:

1. First a scientologist will approach you, offering you a free stress test. you will know they are a scientologist, as they will have the staring, unblinking 'crazy eyes'. they will be very reluctant to take no for an answer.

2. if you do go with them, they will hook you up to an 'e meter'. they will ask you to think of some deeply troubling experience, and when the meter moves slightly, they will present this as evidence you need therapy.

3. you will end up paying $400 a session to have whats troubling you 'audited' (cleared) from your mind. but get this: whats troubling you is, apparently, the souls of murdered aliens (thetans) in your head. betcha didn't see that one coming eh?

i'm sick of these scientologists trying to jack my nads with their e meters

by me old fruity June 19, 2006

rinsed

1.Overplayed. starts as a good song, then gets played so mercilessly by sad dj's (think westwood) trying to be cool that u become so sick of the song u never want to hear it again.

1b. Song featured on every r'n'b compilation for the next 5 years. take a look in your local record store and you'll see what i'm on about

Blu cantrell and Sean Paul: 'Breathe', Beyonce: 'Crazy in Love', Nelly: 'Hot in Herre', Dre's: 'California Love' etc etc

by me old fruity August 28, 2005

foxy brown

1.one who does not write their own songs.
from the rapper foxy brown who is pretty much the running joke of of other female rappers such as lil kim and eve, because people like nas write her songs for her. therefore has beef with both lil kim and eve.

'don't you know i write my own sh!t?! send that sh!t to foxy!'-lil kim
'i can't be waiting on her and her ghostwriter to be coming back at me. not my fault she hasn't had a hit since 1996 and her bank account is looking the same'- eve

by me old fruity August 30, 2005

NUS

National Union of Students. Join and you get a free card that gets you 20% off at pizza hut, 10% at hmv and uh...thats pretty much it.

bouncers don't accept nus cards as id because its easy for 16 yr olds to lie on the application form

by me old fruity August 29, 2005

multipla

ugliest car known to man. looks somewhere between a blob, an alien and that fat girl that never got asked to dance at parties so just sits in the corner giving her prettier friend evil eye. nissan are responsible for this 6 seater monstrosity.

my ex at NEC Motor Show to prospective buyers of Multipla: leave it alone, its fat and ugly.
me: snigger.

by me old fruity August 28, 2005

how much you normally pay?

Something all asian taxi drivers in the UK say when you get in the cab. Must be said with indian/pakistani accent for full effect, and can be very amusing if used correctly. see also:
can i help you my friend?
where u wanting to go?
my brother do it cheap for you!

when serving on the bar or in a shop, try asking 'how much you normally pay?' when a customer asks u how much something is, then laugh at their response

by me old fruity July 1, 2006

crazy frog

A ringtone created by satans very own spawn, Jamster. Not content with ripping off the sound from something called 'the insanity test', they created a hellish blue frog that for some mysterious reason had a tiny shrivelled blue wang, which becomes all the more confusing when you learn that frogs don't actually have wangs.

Do not underestimate just how irritating this er, 'phenomenon' is. If they played this, on loop, at 120 decibels, over the hills of afghanistaan, Bin Laden would come running out of hiding after just 5 minutes offering total surrender and some free dirt on Saddam to boot.
on chavs however, it has no effect.

i would like to feed the crazy frog microwave popcorn kernels, nuke it, and watch the fallout land smack bang on jamster headquarters! B-ding ding ding ding SPLAT

by me old fruity July 1, 2006