Crush

A tight pen used to keep cattle immobile while they receive injections etc.

Girl :"Heres a picture of my crush"
Farmer: "I think youre showing me the wrong picture, thats just a boy. My crush is in the barn"
Girl: "Can i meet her?"
Farmer: "Is there someone who should be looking after you or something?"

by mandatorysodomy January 17, 2018

go with the flow

When your girlfriend/wife is on her period but youre both too drunk/horny/repulsive to care so you have sex anyway.

Last valentines day my girlfriend was on her period, so we planned to have a quiet night in, but after two bottles of wine we just decided to go with the flow

by mandatorysodomy March 19, 2018

Ugliful

When a girl is beautiful but something in her facial expressions reveal the ugly soul within

That girl is hot to trot!
You fool, cant you see shes ugliful?

by mandatorysodomy April 05, 2018

Chumbawamics

A measurement of a persons ability to get back up again once they have been knocked down.

I have high Chumbawamics. I get knocked down but I get up again.

by mandatorysodomy December 17, 2017

Moth

Pretty in pictures, annoying from a distance, scary up close.

1 oh look, a moth. AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH its in my face!

2 I really have no interest in meeting your friend. She looked pretty in that photo, but i heard her on the phone and she was so annoying. Il bet shes scary when you meet her in person. Shes a total moth.

by mandatorysodomy March 19, 2018

boregasm

Boregasm happens when a man is masturbating or having sex and for some reason the stimulation stops just in time to prevent the orgasmic feelings, but not soon enough to stop ejaculation. Unless you are a zealot who believes that all pleasure is a sin but procreation is a must, this is a situation that is best avoided.

Nice timing mum, i said keep out of my room when im reading. You gave me a boregasm you bitch.

by mandatorysodomy January 17, 2018

shit crane

When you have long hair and one of them somehow detaches from your head and gets stuck between the lower cheeks. When you take a shit you will notice that the hair has somehow not only remained attached to your arse, it has become attached to a piece of shit too, anchoring it to your behind. Woe betide the luckless person who doesnt notice the shit crane in time and ends up dragging the shit out of the toilet when they check the paper.

I had to throw out my scissors. I got a shit crane which i couldnt detach so i had to cut it off.

by mandatorysodomy December 11, 2017