mad genius's definitions

Kilhart

When your shot snail trails it’s way off the table

Damn, just lost my drink to the kilhart

by Mad genius January 30, 2022

Cigarette Asshole

Cigarette Asshole holds up the entire line at the convenience store, describing to the cashier what cigarettes they choose to spend their unemployment benefits on and kill themselves with. The description is often something like “Kool 100 slim unfiltered menthols in a hard pack” hence confusing the befuddled cashier, and pissing off everyone else waiting in line. God forbid you find yourself waiting behind the occasional Lottery Ticket / Cigarette Asshole combination personality. You might as well shoot yourself or leave and try a different store. See Mustang Asshole and Lottery Ticket asshole for other possible asshole personality combinations.

'Why doesn't Cigarette Asshole just jump off a cliff? That way, they can speed up the whole death process and spare me the next 3 hours waiting in line."

by mad genius December 5, 2010

dolphinize

To urinate on a fan of the opposite team. Taken from the horrific example a few years ago when a group of Oakland Raider fans beat up a Dolphins fan in the bathroom, then proceeded to urinate on him. Typical neanderthal Raider fan behavior.

The Raiders haven't won a meaningful game in years, which results in the fans having to dolphinize opposing fans to gain any satisfaction in life.

by mad genius October 27, 2010

Bank Drive-thru Asshole

Bank Drive-thru Asshole uses the drive-thru lane at the bank to conduct 20 minutes of banking that should be taken care of by walking inside. The grossly overweight Bank Drive-thru Asshole obviously can’t waddle their fat asses inside the lobby, so their only hope is that their rusted, oil-burning piece of crap car will idle long enough at the drive-thru. Bank Drive-thru Asshole often causes an unsuspecting and unfortunate victim to lose the Bank Drive-thru Lottery.

Bank Drive-thru Asshole will also not hesitate to use the Commercial Lane. Apparently, Bank Drive-thru Asshole also lacks the ability to fill out a deposit slip BEFORE their turn in line. Bank Drive-thru Asshole would be better served going to the local check cashing store to cash their monthly unemployment or welfare checks.

Bank Drive-thru Asshole's next stop is the convenience store, which usually results in the morphing into Cigartette Asshole and/or Lottery Ticket Asshole.

I got caught behind Bank Drive-thru Asshole this morning. They must have been trying to cash a forged state check which was signed by three different people. To top it off, Bank Drive-thru Asshole probably had no valid ID. Damn...they made me lose the Bank Drive-thru Lottery.

by mad genius December 8, 2010

Refinery Asshole

Refinery Asshole is the guy that passes you on the interstate in his “dually pick ‘em up truck” doing 90 mph, because he’s on his way to his refinery job. Refinery Asshole drives like a jerk because Refinery Asshole also believes he is a NASCAR driver. Refinery Asshole believes that the refinery is incapable of operating without him. Refinery Asshole reeks of cigarettes, coffee, and refinery stink, and spends his entire day with his filthy, stinking books kicked up on his desk, bitching about how rotten his home life is, and how great he was back in high school football. Refinery Asshole’s “great-grandaddy”, “granddaddy”, and “daddy”, worked at the same refinery, and guess what ? Refinery Asshole’s son will also work there someday, carrying on the rich tradition. Refinery Asshole hopes that someday, his daughter will marry another Refinery Asshole. Refinery Asshole also believes that greasy, stinking Nomex suits qualify as “Sunday’s Best” in clothing.

Refinery Asshole passed me up this morning on my way to work. It was unbelievable...I could smell tobacco, coffee, and petroleum as he went by doing 90, cutting me off only a few cars lenghts from his exit.

by mad genius December 5, 2010