kofi's definitions

fling

deliberately short-term sexual relationship between two people. Longer than a one-night stand, not as serious-sounding as "affair", more frankly physical than the discreet or twee "dalliance", the word has the associations of a much-needed sexual relief from stress, worry or hangups. No deep personal involvement required, just the sex and a bit of attention.

Office gossip: Oh, by the way, I heard about your secretary's latest fling!
Minor boss: Whaurrgh (choking on his croissant) - How did you find out?
Office gossip: ... With one of the young trainees. Hey, just a minute (grinning with delight) ....
Minor boss: What? Look, I didn't say anything! Err ... which trainee? (under his breath: the double-dealing BITCH!)

by kofi May 14, 2003

Butterfly

intercourse fucking position. A variation of missionary: the man rises slightly more above the woman, and "floats freely" into her, and either he holds her calves (or feet) or she holds her knees folded back against her body and wide apart, to give him the maximum possible entry. Advantages: Man can ride high, right up to the womb; he can probe her very widely; extremely submissive female position and free dominant male role can excite both. Disadvantages: Can be strenuous: for extended sessions only lithe, fit bodies need apply!; also, not the best position for friction against ticklish ridges and main G-spots at front of the ridden cunt

Tracy loves butterfly, but only with manly men - and not on a full stomach!

by kofi May 12, 2003

cumbath

luxurious indulgence, usually by a female, in a plentiful supply of semen. Her body is usually naked - as "bath" would suggest - both for practical and sensual reasons. For reasons of the standard male performance (5-12 cc of fresh ejaculate), more than one man is likely to be called on to turn on the supply for her. The alternative - pre-packaged sperm from one or more sources - is rather too gruesome to contemplate. And a girl can get mighty cold and bored waiting around in her birthday suit for a fully satisfactory coverage of her bathing needs by any one man's repeated creative outputs.

Cumbaths are by nature often more easily come by in porno - with the help of fluid supplements and substitutes, and a few sleights of hand - than in the hard light of workable reality.

by kofi May 19, 2003

Rag Week

(Everything Umbongo says is 80% true and 100% funny, but he could have added:) RAG WEEK is traditionally a part of the British university calendar. It is a fund-raising week for the poor and disadvantaged (not themselves), where students try to palm off funny writings, and (say) push toilets along the main street of town, swallow ugly-looking fluids, or try to set up new Guinness records for bedhopping, for fun and public cash. Errrr, but apart from that usual stuff, they give some of the resulting money to local or larger charitable organisations, such as the SLC (Student Loans Company).

A: So what are you doing for Rag Week?
B: I think I'll just stay in bed.
A: Have you got sponsorship for that?
B: No, but I have got a whoppin hangover.

by kofi May 15, 2003

chocolate and vanilla

(Not to be confused with plain vanilla, though also derived from flavours of ice cream.) Sex between so-called "black" and "white" people. May also be used for a threesome or group sex where at least one of those participating has sex with "black" and "white" alike.

A: I hear Tracy got bored with the same old plain vanilla with Chris.
B: Yeah, chocolate and vanilla is much more her thing, when she can get it.
C: (listening in, confused) Yeah? That's funny .... I didn't think Tracy even LIKED ice cream!

by kofi June 30, 2003

Docs

Not to be confused with "Dockers", but following the same pseudo-tough image!
see DMs

Alice: That gal Traicy's not fit ta kiss mah Docs!
Sarah: Look, Alice, they're ENGLISH, right? Just like you. And stop slagging Tracy off. Girl can't help the way she is!
Alice: She gunna feel the steel toecap o mah noo Docs up ho' slutty ayuss, if she don't keep ho' paws offa mah Aidan!
Sarah: (d'Ohhhhhhh ....)

by kofi May 15, 2003

lambada

Thankfully short-lived joke form of samba, a commercial bastardisation aimed at satisfying overweight, sweaty businessmen who could do no more than limply shuffle their feet about in pursuit of fame, fitness, fashion and pussy.

Lambada was a Brazilian answer to karaoke.

by kofi May 18, 2003