kofi's definitions

Rag Week

(Everything Umbongo says is 80% true and 100% funny, but he could have added:) RAG WEEK is traditionally a part of the British university calendar. It is a fund-raising week for the poor and disadvantaged (not themselves), where students try to palm off funny writings, and (say) push toilets along the main street of town, swallow ugly-looking fluids, or try to set up new Guinness records for bedhopping, for fun and public cash. Errrr, but apart from that usual stuff, they give some of the resulting money to local or larger charitable organisations, such as the SLC (Student Loans Company).

A: So what are you doing for Rag Week?
B: I think I'll just stay in bed.
A: Have you got sponsorship for that?
B: No, but I have got a whoppin hangover.

by kofi May 15, 2003

plain vanilla

(derived from ice cream's standard basic flavour): humorous term for the enjoyment of "straightforward" sexual intercourse, most obviously in the routine missionary position. If the phrase is used, the implication is normally that the enjoyment is somewhat limited, when perhaps other "flavours" might have been welcomed .... (Note: See also "chocolate and vanilla")

A: "So, how's the new girlfriend?"
B: "Oh, all right."
A: "What's the problem?"
B: "She's only interested in plain vanilla."
A: "Hell, man, give her time. You didn't expect a blowjob on the first date, did you?!"

by kofi June 30, 2003

nympho

1. see nymph definition 2
2. someone (usually of a woman) who bizarrely seems to want to have sex with others but to leave out the speaker

A: Did you hear, Tracy's desperately trying to get a bunckh of guys together together for a gangbang at her place this weekend.
B: What? I thought the bitch'd had three different boyfriends this week alone!
A: Yeah, exactly, but that's a nympho for ya!
B: ... So d'you think we could maybe wangle an invite out of her?

by kofi May 9, 2003

fling

deliberately short-term sexual relationship between two people. Longer than a one-night stand, not as serious-sounding as "affair", more frankly physical than the discreet or twee "dalliance", the word has the associations of a much-needed sexual relief from stress, worry or hangups. No deep personal involvement required, just the sex and a bit of attention.

Office gossip: Oh, by the way, I heard about your secretary's latest fling!
Minor boss: Whaurrgh (choking on his croissant) - How did you find out?
Office gossip: ... With one of the young trainees. Hey, just a minute (grinning with delight) ....
Minor boss: What? Look, I didn't say anything! Err ... which trainee? (under his breath: the double-dealing BITCH!)

by kofi May 14, 2003

sex worker

More neutral or sympathetic alternative to prostitute, whore. Frankly offering sex for money is seen as either a necessary or acceptable job, parallel to (say) factory work, and no stigma or sneer of contempt should be attached to its practitioners.

"Sex workers of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your chains (unless you are happy wearing them)"

by kofi May 12, 2003

semen

scientific name for cum, jizz, jism, man milk, cream, etc. Actually the thin fluid that transports the millions of tiny, tadpole-like daddies sperm from the testicles and out of the cock when the male is suitably excited - but fluid and content are, unsurprisingly, often confused!

Tracy's ears would always prick up when she heard the word "semen", and her eyes gleamed whenever a man was as good as his word, and she had another chance to gulp down her favourite fast food.

by kofi May 12, 2003

teen

someone between the ages of thirTEEN and nineTEEN (d'ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!)

"Twelve-year-olds are far too young for the teen scene, and don't trust anyone over 20"

by kofi May 19, 2003