kofi's definitions

Docs

Not to be confused with "Dockers", but following the same pseudo-tough image!
see DMs

Alice: That gal Traicy's not fit ta kiss mah Docs!
Sarah: Look, Alice, they're ENGLISH, right? Just like you. And stop slagging Tracy off. Girl can't help the way she is!
Alice: She gunna feel the steel toecap o mah noo Docs up ho' slutty ayuss, if she don't keep ho' paws offa mah Aidan!
Sarah: (d'Ohhhhhhh ....)

by kofi May 15, 2003

pull off

1) (sex): to wanka man so that he ejaculates (alternatives: jerk off, jack off)
2) (soccer): to substitute a player, i.e remove him from the game.
Warning: Be very careful not to confuse the two. (See example.)

The new teenage arrival at Man United was discussing terms with his agent, and was impressed. Agent: Look lad, you'll only earn about 30 grand the first year. Kid: 30 grand? brilliant! At Rochdale, I only got a couple of quid a week! Agent: And they'll be starting you off with just a basic Mercedes. Kid: Mercedes? Brilliant! At Rochdale, I had to get the bus! Agent: And you'll have to accept last pick of the groupies. Kid: Groupies? Brilliant! At Rochdale, I had to sleep with my sister! Agent: Oh, and for the first few games, Sir Alex may want to pull you off at half time. Kid: Pull me off? Fantastic! At Rochdale, we only got a slice of orange and a cup of tea! ......

by kofi May 14, 2003

good time girl

old euphemism, still used for: 1. tart, slut; or 2. sex worker, callgirl, prostitute. A woman who is in search of cheap (if possible, cost- and pain-free) fun, particularly featuring easy and good sex, very interested in the financial generosity of dickheads (a due reward for her looks and personality and class). May either be (see definition 1 above) an "Essex girl" a "Tracy" in her leisure mode, or (def 2) a professional at work. Note: the term is still found used where speakers find it legally safer, more discreet or wittier to view this way of life as "just harmless good clean fun for all concerned"!

Good time girl in the street in Soho, London: "Looking for a good time, govn'r? Well, I cert'nly am!"

by kofi May 14, 2003

callgirl

(British): woman working either as an escort, at the higher end of the sex industry, or as a sex worker, prostitute, at its bottom end.

"Don't you dare call ME a callgirl, you asshole .... I DON'T do this just for the money, you know!"

by kofi May 14, 2003

fling

deliberately short-term sexual relationship between two people. Longer than a one-night stand, not as serious-sounding as "affair", more frankly physical than the discreet or twee "dalliance", the word has the associations of a much-needed sexual relief from stress, worry or hangups. No deep personal involvement required, just the sex and a bit of attention.

Office gossip: Oh, by the way, I heard about your secretary's latest fling!
Minor boss: Whaurrgh (choking on his croissant) - How did you find out?
Office gossip: ... With one of the young trainees. Hey, just a minute (grinning with delight) ....
Minor boss: What? Look, I didn't say anything! Err ... which trainee? (under his breath: the double-dealing BITCH!)

by kofi May 14, 2003

one-night stand

Sexual activity with another person intended for one night only. (Derives from showbiz, a "one-off show". But also of course from the suggestion of a one-off erection, though the term is used by women as well as men as a candid description of "getting your rocks off" when a bit of no-strings fucking etc. was desired.

“I've never had a one-night stand because I've always been afraid that in the cold light of day, she'll wake up and think; "Oh my God! What the hell am I doing in bed with a stupid cunt like this?!”

by kofi May 14, 2003

split beaver

much the same as a bearded clam: except perhaps more eager, and more neatly trimmed, i.e. furry rather than shaggy in its coat. A plain beaver but helplessly spreadeagled. An object of fear, revulsion or contempt for some, an object of desire, conquest or reverence for many: yes it's yet another name for her cunt!

She was 16 when she first discovered she was carrying a wild animal around with her. Before she knew where she was, a wily trapper had trussed up and made short work of her furry little companion. Nowadays she keeps her split beaver as contented, well-exercised and well-fed as she possibly can.

by kofi May 14, 2003