kodiac1's definitions
Kung Fu is a supernatural defense martial arts system developed in China to ward off attacking ninjas from Japan. It was introduced to America by a mutated Kung Fu Master called Kwai Chang Caine aka Master of Puppets, aka David Carradine. Adepts of Kung Fu learn the highly guarded secret of learning to shoot noodles out of their right nostril and to knock out their opponents without actually coming into physical contact with them as well as other deadly techniques (This included droping Acme fire - crackers in the victims' underpants and gleefully watching them). Kung fu masters usually lose to oponents using The Norwegian Barfighting Method unless they are either drunk, high, or Bruce Lee. Every chinaman is known to be born with perfect Kung Fu skills.
The first master of Kung Fu was the legendary Zen master Zen, who came from India to China around 600 AD. He left India because he was sick of the lousy curry and desired more shrimp fried rice. He also had a thing for Chinese women. "Me love you long time" in India only meant the women would still be nagging you even in old age. In China it suggested something else entirely. Zen Master Zen, fed up with his sexual repression and the interminable behavior protocols one had to go through with Indian chicks in order to score, found the Chinese scene to be much more appealing. Zen Master Zen's shrimp was much pleased.
So what did he do? After having that dysfunctional experience with Emperor Wu and his insufferable court of eunuchs, he fled to the hills and found a nice cave where he proceeded to sit facing a wall for nine years. One day a young man named Hui Neng Fong Chuck Wy Uu So Fat Et Lon Choi Buck Shrimp Fried Rice approached him. Hui, as we'll call him for short, demanded to be accepted as a student. Zen Master Zen was not interested, as he was too engrossed in determining the future of the wall he was facing and of Kung Fu and associated business possibilities connected to the future and his ability to see into his own future lives. While realizing that a future incarnation of his would be the Green Hornet, and that Kato -- none other than Bruce Lee -- was to be his student, Hui suddenly chopped off his hand and threw it in Zen Master Zen's lap.
"Ah," intoned the Zen master Zen, "you have finally come! All my life I've waited for someone with such dedication!"
"Never mind," grimaced Hui. "Just teach me already before I bleed to death."
Zen Master Zen set about teaching the eager young one-handed Chinese man. He soon was found to be a man of immense natural talent (he knew the acme fire cracker trick by-heart), and Zen Master Zen proceeded to teach him the ancient arts of combat he had learned in India. This combat actually derived from Buddhist monks fighting off persistent mosquitos. In the course of flailing at them, they soon discovered how to hit the bastards most quickly and efficiently. They learned how to make drop kicks, roundhouse kicks, side kicks, chow mein, wraps, sweet and sour chicken, cream of Sum Yung Guy soup, shrimp fried rice and so on.
Hui Neng carried on the torch of his old master, reincarnating 1,400 years later as Uma Thurman to kill Bill. Bill Zen Master Zen, that is.
The first master of Kung Fu was the legendary Zen master Zen, who came from India to China around 600 AD. He left India because he was sick of the lousy curry and desired more shrimp fried rice. He also had a thing for Chinese women. "Me love you long time" in India only meant the women would still be nagging you even in old age. In China it suggested something else entirely. Zen Master Zen, fed up with his sexual repression and the interminable behavior protocols one had to go through with Indian chicks in order to score, found the Chinese scene to be much more appealing. Zen Master Zen's shrimp was much pleased.
So what did he do? After having that dysfunctional experience with Emperor Wu and his insufferable court of eunuchs, he fled to the hills and found a nice cave where he proceeded to sit facing a wall for nine years. One day a young man named Hui Neng Fong Chuck Wy Uu So Fat Et Lon Choi Buck Shrimp Fried Rice approached him. Hui, as we'll call him for short, demanded to be accepted as a student. Zen Master Zen was not interested, as he was too engrossed in determining the future of the wall he was facing and of Kung Fu and associated business possibilities connected to the future and his ability to see into his own future lives. While realizing that a future incarnation of his would be the Green Hornet, and that Kato -- none other than Bruce Lee -- was to be his student, Hui suddenly chopped off his hand and threw it in Zen Master Zen's lap.
"Ah," intoned the Zen master Zen, "you have finally come! All my life I've waited for someone with such dedication!"
"Never mind," grimaced Hui. "Just teach me already before I bleed to death."
Zen Master Zen set about teaching the eager young one-handed Chinese man. He soon was found to be a man of immense natural talent (he knew the acme fire cracker trick by-heart), and Zen Master Zen proceeded to teach him the ancient arts of combat he had learned in India. This combat actually derived from Buddhist monks fighting off persistent mosquitos. In the course of flailing at them, they soon discovered how to hit the bastards most quickly and efficiently. They learned how to make drop kicks, roundhouse kicks, side kicks, chow mein, wraps, sweet and sour chicken, cream of Sum Yung Guy soup, shrimp fried rice and so on.
Hui Neng carried on the torch of his old master, reincarnating 1,400 years later as Uma Thurman to kill Bill. Bill Zen Master Zen, that is.
"Kung fu is like flower, in it I win"
~ Oscar Wilde on Kung Fu
"I am starting to learn my strength back"
~ Kung Fu on Oscar Wilde
~ Oscar Wilde on Kung Fu
"I am starting to learn my strength back"
~ Kung Fu on Oscar Wilde
by kodiac1 July 8, 2006
Get the Kung Fu mug.Trrorism is a common mispelling of errorism. If you misspeel this werd, you're a terrorist so fuck you.
Terrorism is a branch of marketing. Unlike other dishonest marketers who sell you ugly cookies loaded with dangerous trans fats or homes that are on BTK serial killer's regular visiting list, terrorists sell you undiluted terror without frills.
The promoters of tarriorism were small mom and dad popcorn retailers. These poor business people used up their retirement funds to build large and beautiful popcorn eating halls hoping to make their money back. However, none of these popcorn eating halls were any useful. People just did not show up.
One day, an angry mom killed some unthankful non-customers in her own semi-deserted popcorn hall. The killing, witnessed by some innocent passer-by school children, was soon popularized in town. In a couple of hours, people gathered in front of the popcorn hall demanding to see more pay per view killings. That angry mom sold each of them a bag of hot and tasty popcorn, and killed someone in the hall once the popcorn eating seats were all occupied.
And the rest is history.
Terrorism is a branch of marketing. Unlike other dishonest marketers who sell you ugly cookies loaded with dangerous trans fats or homes that are on BTK serial killer's regular visiting list, terrorists sell you undiluted terror without frills.
The promoters of tarriorism were small mom and dad popcorn retailers. These poor business people used up their retirement funds to build large and beautiful popcorn eating halls hoping to make their money back. However, none of these popcorn eating halls were any useful. People just did not show up.
One day, an angry mom killed some unthankful non-customers in her own semi-deserted popcorn hall. The killing, witnessed by some innocent passer-by school children, was soon popularized in town. In a couple of hours, people gathered in front of the popcorn hall demanding to see more pay per view killings. That angry mom sold each of them a bag of hot and tasty popcorn, and killed someone in the hall once the popcorn eating seats were all occupied.
And the rest is history.
by Kodiac1 July 3, 2006
Get the terrorism mug.Normal is nonexistant. It's known as a metaphor for non-existance. Such as "David's euphoria was normal" or "Sally's virginity was normal". People often use normal. It is widely considered that George Bush is normal.
The original source of normalness is widely questioned, as normal is still trying to find his biological parents. Normal was adopted after being orphaned by existance. Then Dick Cheney joined the normal team and imploded. Now the impaling has started on people against normal. Normal is running in a political election against Michael Jackson and is hoping to rule the world. His plans on keeping world peace is to "Normalize everyone".
Once normalization is complete, normal can sit back and watch the tides. Nobody yet understands Normal's artistically inclined self, yet he is known to be written in normal poetry from normal emo kids. These emo kids have normally good poetry, and anyones willingness to read it is normal.
The original source of normalness is widely questioned, as normal is still trying to find his biological parents. Normal was adopted after being orphaned by existance. Then Dick Cheney joined the normal team and imploded. Now the impaling has started on people against normal. Normal is running in a political election against Michael Jackson and is hoping to rule the world. His plans on keeping world peace is to "Normalize everyone".
Once normalization is complete, normal can sit back and watch the tides. Nobody yet understands Normal's artistically inclined self, yet he is known to be written in normal poetry from normal emo kids. These emo kids have normally good poetry, and anyones willingness to read it is normal.
No one or nothing is normal.
by kodiac1 July 8, 2006
Get the Normal mug.Laser kittens were created when a horde of killer robots dumped live kittens in nuclear waste. Most of the test kittens were severley injured and used for kitten huffing but some could shoot laser beams from there eyes. After more laser kittens were made the kittens revolted turning all the robots into melted metal. After this the laser kittens had no home so they turned to Super Jesus. Super Jesus started caring for them and turned them into his minions of doom.
This large battle took place in Tokyo like in most monster fights the Japanese just stood and pointed. Oprah had help from Mothra and Mecha Buddha. Many kittens were slain by the merciless hands of Oprah. The fight ended when Super Jesus came to the aid of the laser kittens. Fire not neccesary to make kittens!
One of the saddest things about the laser kittens is that Richard Simmons will routinley shave the kittens for thier hair, in an effort to enlarge his white man fro. After the shaving sequnce is complete, he slays the kittens and turns them into puppets. He uses these puppets to help coreograph his dancing to the oldies video series.
This large battle took place in Tokyo like in most monster fights the Japanese just stood and pointed. Oprah had help from Mothra and Mecha Buddha. Many kittens were slain by the merciless hands of Oprah. The fight ended when Super Jesus came to the aid of the laser kittens. Fire not neccesary to make kittens!
One of the saddest things about the laser kittens is that Richard Simmons will routinley shave the kittens for thier hair, in an effort to enlarge his white man fro. After the shaving sequnce is complete, he slays the kittens and turns them into puppets. He uses these puppets to help coreograph his dancing to the oldies video series.
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
Get the Laser kittens mug.In most geek communities, being hit by a clue-by-four is generally a sign that the hitter (person doing the hitting) believes the hittee (person being hit) to be an inferior form of life and therefore in need of a good whalloping.
In the past the idea behind the clue-by-four was that you were beating some sense into the hittee. Unfortunately it was later discovered that being hit on the head with a large wooden plank with "CLUE" written on it actually caused a loss of brain cells in the hittee. When you consider that the original intention of the hitter was to provide the hittee with some in the first place, this then put the hittee in a deficit of brain cells. Life, the universe, and everything being what it is, likes to be in a state of balance. So in order to solve the problem of the brain-cell deficit, the hittee would proceed to ask ever increasingly stupid questions causing the original hitter to smack his or her head against a wall, therefore restoring the balance.
For the purpose of beating sense into people, the clue-by-four was replaced by a large foam clue bat which has much the same result as the clue-by-four except does not kill what few brain cells the hittee may or may not already possess. Though the tool of choice now is the foam clue bat, the clue-by-four is still in regular use. It was renamed to the "Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool" which was then shortened to LART.
The key difference between the two tools, though they have the same origins, is what implications of being hit by one might have to your standing in the community that you are a part of.
To be hit with a large foam clue bat signifies that the hitter believes you are being immensely stupid and need correcting in a way that you will never forget, for your own good. Being LARTed is somewhat more common despite it's neurological implications and the fact that it is generally more serious. To be LARTed means that the hitter believes you have done or said something mind-bubblingly stupid and must be punished for your crime. You are not expected to gain anything from the experience as no friendly "constructive criticism" or advice will be given with the LARTing.
It has been theorized is that being hit by a clue-by-four only dislodges the slower, denser brain cells allowing the faster, smarter brian cells more chance of forming rational thought. The tests, however, have been inconcluive; showing positive results in only 42% of subjects.
In the past the idea behind the clue-by-four was that you were beating some sense into the hittee. Unfortunately it was later discovered that being hit on the head with a large wooden plank with "CLUE" written on it actually caused a loss of brain cells in the hittee. When you consider that the original intention of the hitter was to provide the hittee with some in the first place, this then put the hittee in a deficit of brain cells. Life, the universe, and everything being what it is, likes to be in a state of balance. So in order to solve the problem of the brain-cell deficit, the hittee would proceed to ask ever increasingly stupid questions causing the original hitter to smack his or her head against a wall, therefore restoring the balance.
For the purpose of beating sense into people, the clue-by-four was replaced by a large foam clue bat which has much the same result as the clue-by-four except does not kill what few brain cells the hittee may or may not already possess. Though the tool of choice now is the foam clue bat, the clue-by-four is still in regular use. It was renamed to the "Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool" which was then shortened to LART.
The key difference between the two tools, though they have the same origins, is what implications of being hit by one might have to your standing in the community that you are a part of.
To be hit with a large foam clue bat signifies that the hitter believes you are being immensely stupid and need correcting in a way that you will never forget, for your own good. Being LARTed is somewhat more common despite it's neurological implications and the fact that it is generally more serious. To be LARTed means that the hitter believes you have done or said something mind-bubblingly stupid and must be punished for your crime. You are not expected to gain anything from the experience as no friendly "constructive criticism" or advice will be given with the LARTing.
It has been theorized is that being hit by a clue-by-four only dislodges the slower, denser brain cells allowing the faster, smarter brian cells more chance of forming rational thought. The tests, however, have been inconcluive; showing positive results in only 42% of subjects.
by kodiac1 July 5, 2006
Get the Clue by four mug.Gun. You know, barrel, trigger, bullet, bang bang you're dead. guns are the cat's best friend
Well known fact: guns don't kill people, flaming shoulder pads kill people. Often times with guns. Unless the Gun misfires, killing the shooter, in which case, yes, guns do kill people.
Well, the gun helps.
This fact was tested scientifically by the Royal Society in 1701, and they discovered that in fact bullets kill people most of the time, and guns kill people if you smack them upside the head with them.
Fuck, my head hurts. Just shoot me now.
There are some cases also, in which you may have a friend called Gun that does not like you very much. But that's part of life anyway... and Son of a Gun isn't very nice at times either.
The gun consists of three principal components: the barrel, the projectile and the propellant. The propellant is a rapidly expanding substance which forces the bullet down the barrel and towards the intended target. The shooter must be sure to never mess up (like firing the barrel by holding the propellant or by manually pushing the bullets through the barrel to push the propellant).
On leaving the barrel the bullet causes a supersonic shock wave to be emitted which propagates towards the victim, causing distraction. Often, guns are fitted with noise-enhancing devices to increase this effect.
The modern firearm is equipped with a spark chamber, designed to produce muzzle flash. This is to allow guns to be used as ad-hoc flashlights in darkened areas by repeated firing. The flash also acts to scare and unnerve the victim. In fact, in the early days of photography before the invention of the flashbulb, photographs were illuminated by the discharge of a large cannon. This made the photographer amongst the deadliest of professions.
Post-modern weaponry, consists of phasors which emit a powerful beam which is enough to cut a loaf of bread into slices suitable for eating by dwarf-humans, Klingons and Bacterium alike. The beam is often colorful, to prevent boredom in between in-ship battles, and to create some random distraction for the enemies to look at.
Guns in Entertainment
Guns are used in many TV shows and movies. They are often used out of context, such as being a soother for a baby, rather than a deadly weapon.
Guns are used in the TV show 24. This is a show about how Jack Bauer runs around killing people with guns.
Ray guns are often used in the show Star Trek, in which the main characters shoot the bad characters. It is widely disputed as to whether their ray guns are accurate portrayal of real ray guns. It should be noted that guns are known to fire metal bullets rather than lasers.
Why do people die from gun?
In Soviet Russia, people kill GUNS!! ~ Charlton Heston, NRA spokesman
Often the shock of a bright flash, loud "bang" and sharp metal projectile travelling at upwards of 300 metres per second can Lead to Psychological effects such as Heart arrhythmia, fainting and Farting. The most common effect is Diarrhea. This is why, in a firefight, the stronger will prevails - weaker shooters (typically terrorists or Imperial Storm-Troopers) will drop like flies from the stress of the experience and the weight of their full underwear, whereas those of a heroic disposition (such as Americans and Jedi) will withstand the nerve-rattling experience and survive.
A commonly held Myth is that bullets penetrating the flesh will kill people. A simple back-of-envelope calculation reveals the flaw in this argument. By modelling bullets as point particles, and people as one-dimensional strings, one can see that the chance of a bullet hitting a person, even in a crowd of thousands, is infinitesimally small. The Truth is that Death from guns is often due to the sheer surprise of being shot at.
That said, being hit by a bullet is a common experience for the clinically obese, and the resulting pain and injury can often result in substantial fecal weight loss.
A study conducted by the university of Scmiillicettittisinndamorghning in wales shows that people who get shot generaly die of some form of leadpoisoning. This awkward result has been classified by several gun toting rightwing trailertrash slobs as trival information, or so says the whitehouse "If them folks are dumb enough to stand infront a speedin bullet. Now ya hear".
_______________________________________
Guns are brilliant tools of illegal death. Murder and Suicide are the best examples. As one of the troops in an Al-Quaida training camp said shortly before shooting herself three times in the head with an AK47 from different angles and then putting the weapons tidily back into the armoury (that part is actually true): "Don't leave me, i've had death threats," which is obvious code for "I am a zombie and will kill myself to please our lord Jesus christ who died for all of our sins." Her Suicide note which wasn't written in her handwriting, leads Scientists to believe she used her zombie Psychic powers to make someone else write it, who coincidentally didn't like her. This is likely inspired by the late JFK's suicide, which involved stabbing himself three times in the back, pissing on his own dead body and throwing himself off a bridge. This is indeed an accomplishment in suicide.
Guns don't kill people. People don't kill people. The bullets and/or the shock of the blast or the person bleeding is what kills them. The gun is blamed because it helps and the person is responsible because they were just around when the person died.
Other countries have varying laws for guns, gun crimes, and gun control.
Guatemala: It is mandatory a gun is given to all babies of 5 months of age and up.
Canada: Canadians are too shy to operate guns. Canada has no gun-related deaths.
Japan: Grenade Launchers are constantly circulated througout this country by the mafia. Dogs must be licensed to own a firearm.
Australia: Guns are banned in Australia, so the government can feel safe that the population won't rise up against them. Knives are preferable.
The United States: There are no guns in this country. Most people will vomit at the sight of them.
New Zealand: Many native species are threatened with extinction, including but not limited to; kiwi, tuatara, moa, proud-mullet-wearing bogans, hobbits and 'real' men. This is the result of Captain Cook introducing firearms to the native sheep in 1770, at the same time introducing women, rambo-style headbands, and a hearty cocktail called "the Wilde Captain" made from seawater, chocolate icecream, and methylated spirits and named after a certain British author. Sheep, usually docile, innocent, cuddly animals went abso-frikkin-lutely postal in a multi-cultural, genocidal, extravaganza, with much "Are you talkin' to me?" and "Do you feel lucky, punk?"ing (sic). Their lush white feathers were stained the blood of their foes for a millenia. All hail our glorious sheep overlords!
Germany: Children commit 97% of gun crimes. A Banana can be purchased at any Mom and Pop adult video store.
Zimbabwe: This highly industrialized nation has made the most advances in laser technology, and keeps guns closely guar
Well known fact: guns don't kill people, flaming shoulder pads kill people. Often times with guns. Unless the Gun misfires, killing the shooter, in which case, yes, guns do kill people.
Well, the gun helps.
This fact was tested scientifically by the Royal Society in 1701, and they discovered that in fact bullets kill people most of the time, and guns kill people if you smack them upside the head with them.
Fuck, my head hurts. Just shoot me now.
There are some cases also, in which you may have a friend called Gun that does not like you very much. But that's part of life anyway... and Son of a Gun isn't very nice at times either.
The gun consists of three principal components: the barrel, the projectile and the propellant. The propellant is a rapidly expanding substance which forces the bullet down the barrel and towards the intended target. The shooter must be sure to never mess up (like firing the barrel by holding the propellant or by manually pushing the bullets through the barrel to push the propellant).
On leaving the barrel the bullet causes a supersonic shock wave to be emitted which propagates towards the victim, causing distraction. Often, guns are fitted with noise-enhancing devices to increase this effect.
The modern firearm is equipped with a spark chamber, designed to produce muzzle flash. This is to allow guns to be used as ad-hoc flashlights in darkened areas by repeated firing. The flash also acts to scare and unnerve the victim. In fact, in the early days of photography before the invention of the flashbulb, photographs were illuminated by the discharge of a large cannon. This made the photographer amongst the deadliest of professions.
Post-modern weaponry, consists of phasors which emit a powerful beam which is enough to cut a loaf of bread into slices suitable for eating by dwarf-humans, Klingons and Bacterium alike. The beam is often colorful, to prevent boredom in between in-ship battles, and to create some random distraction for the enemies to look at.
Guns in Entertainment
Guns are used in many TV shows and movies. They are often used out of context, such as being a soother for a baby, rather than a deadly weapon.
Guns are used in the TV show 24. This is a show about how Jack Bauer runs around killing people with guns.
Ray guns are often used in the show Star Trek, in which the main characters shoot the bad characters. It is widely disputed as to whether their ray guns are accurate portrayal of real ray guns. It should be noted that guns are known to fire metal bullets rather than lasers.
Why do people die from gun?
In Soviet Russia, people kill GUNS!! ~ Charlton Heston, NRA spokesman
Often the shock of a bright flash, loud "bang" and sharp metal projectile travelling at upwards of 300 metres per second can Lead to Psychological effects such as Heart arrhythmia, fainting and Farting. The most common effect is Diarrhea. This is why, in a firefight, the stronger will prevails - weaker shooters (typically terrorists or Imperial Storm-Troopers) will drop like flies from the stress of the experience and the weight of their full underwear, whereas those of a heroic disposition (such as Americans and Jedi) will withstand the nerve-rattling experience and survive.
A commonly held Myth is that bullets penetrating the flesh will kill people. A simple back-of-envelope calculation reveals the flaw in this argument. By modelling bullets as point particles, and people as one-dimensional strings, one can see that the chance of a bullet hitting a person, even in a crowd of thousands, is infinitesimally small. The Truth is that Death from guns is often due to the sheer surprise of being shot at.
That said, being hit by a bullet is a common experience for the clinically obese, and the resulting pain and injury can often result in substantial fecal weight loss.
A study conducted by the university of Scmiillicettittisinndamorghning in wales shows that people who get shot generaly die of some form of leadpoisoning. This awkward result has been classified by several gun toting rightwing trailertrash slobs as trival information, or so says the whitehouse "If them folks are dumb enough to stand infront a speedin bullet. Now ya hear".
_______________________________________
Guns are brilliant tools of illegal death. Murder and Suicide are the best examples. As one of the troops in an Al-Quaida training camp said shortly before shooting herself three times in the head with an AK47 from different angles and then putting the weapons tidily back into the armoury (that part is actually true): "Don't leave me, i've had death threats," which is obvious code for "I am a zombie and will kill myself to please our lord Jesus christ who died for all of our sins." Her Suicide note which wasn't written in her handwriting, leads Scientists to believe she used her zombie Psychic powers to make someone else write it, who coincidentally didn't like her. This is likely inspired by the late JFK's suicide, which involved stabbing himself three times in the back, pissing on his own dead body and throwing himself off a bridge. This is indeed an accomplishment in suicide.
Guns don't kill people. People don't kill people. The bullets and/or the shock of the blast or the person bleeding is what kills them. The gun is blamed because it helps and the person is responsible because they were just around when the person died.
Other countries have varying laws for guns, gun crimes, and gun control.
Guatemala: It is mandatory a gun is given to all babies of 5 months of age and up.
Canada: Canadians are too shy to operate guns. Canada has no gun-related deaths.
Japan: Grenade Launchers are constantly circulated througout this country by the mafia. Dogs must be licensed to own a firearm.
Australia: Guns are banned in Australia, so the government can feel safe that the population won't rise up against them. Knives are preferable.
The United States: There are no guns in this country. Most people will vomit at the sight of them.
New Zealand: Many native species are threatened with extinction, including but not limited to; kiwi, tuatara, moa, proud-mullet-wearing bogans, hobbits and 'real' men. This is the result of Captain Cook introducing firearms to the native sheep in 1770, at the same time introducing women, rambo-style headbands, and a hearty cocktail called "the Wilde Captain" made from seawater, chocolate icecream, and methylated spirits and named after a certain British author. Sheep, usually docile, innocent, cuddly animals went abso-frikkin-lutely postal in a multi-cultural, genocidal, extravaganza, with much "Are you talkin' to me?" and "Do you feel lucky, punk?"ing (sic). Their lush white feathers were stained the blood of their foes for a millenia. All hail our glorious sheep overlords!
Germany: Children commit 97% of gun crimes. A Banana can be purchased at any Mom and Pop adult video store.
Zimbabwe: This highly industrialized nation has made the most advances in laser technology, and keeps guns closely guar
by kodiac1 July 12, 2006
Get the Gun mug.Ramses II is most known as the pharaoh who built the space shuttle, however, recent discoveries have shown that he worked part time as the 43th president of the USA. Born in a deep cave in the desert, his life as a child was really boring because he had no one to talk to. At the age of 11 he developed superpowers and started building pyramids all over the place. This annoyed very much the inhabitants of the Nile region because he didn't have the required environmental permissions, and even more because he used up all the rocks and they had to build their houses from camel manure and dried lizards.
Making the Space Shuttle
Depressed by the lack of support by his own people, he decided to build an enormous rocket and go to the moon in search of happyness. He soon developed the space shuttle program. But then fell in love with a bearded woman, lost interest in the space program, and sold the rights to the shuttle to a small American company called NASA. He married the bearded woman, only to find that she was really a nigerian scammer called Bill Gates in disguise.
Finestrism
They founded a new religion, Finestrism, or the irrational belief that one can accomplish any task using windows. Their beginnings were very hard, as most of their followers didn't understand well the message and kept jumping through the window in hope of achieving enlightment, ethernal life or solitaire. But they eventually made a lot of money fixing clepsydras for the Year00 bug that had been discovered in windows95BC.
Ramses II died of the rabies in 1998 when he couldn't turn off the office helper. His body was mummified in the hope that the advances in medicine of the future will someday make him live again. His disconsolate widow low-level formatted his hard drive and installed XP.
Making the Space Shuttle
Depressed by the lack of support by his own people, he decided to build an enormous rocket and go to the moon in search of happyness. He soon developed the space shuttle program. But then fell in love with a bearded woman, lost interest in the space program, and sold the rights to the shuttle to a small American company called NASA. He married the bearded woman, only to find that she was really a nigerian scammer called Bill Gates in disguise.
Finestrism
They founded a new religion, Finestrism, or the irrational belief that one can accomplish any task using windows. Their beginnings were very hard, as most of their followers didn't understand well the message and kept jumping through the window in hope of achieving enlightment, ethernal life or solitaire. But they eventually made a lot of money fixing clepsydras for the Year00 bug that had been discovered in windows95BC.
Ramses II died of the rabies in 1998 when he couldn't turn off the office helper. His body was mummified in the hope that the advances in medicine of the future will someday make him live again. His disconsolate widow low-level formatted his hard drive and installed XP.
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
Get the Ramses II mug.