step-dad

A guy willing to hook up with a chick that has children from a previous relationship. Some step-kids will love him and others will not. The step-kids real dad is either not in the picture or there was a split from the kid's mom for some reason.

If a kids lucky they're mom will find them a good step-dad and not some fucker who treats them like shit.

by jpg3 January 09, 2011

N.M.T.B.

No Meals To Bedroom, Used when a teen or live at home adult goes from taking a bag of chips, handful of cookies, etc. into their bedroom to snack on and starts toting a complete meal there instead. Derived via the shortened form of talking usually used by texters, teens and people that cannot spell. Sometimes parents resort to this method of communication in attempting to be understood by children that are afraid of using complete sentences and big words.

After visiting the kitchen and having heaped a plate full of spaghetti and meatballs, the teen was sneaking back into the bedroom with it but was thwarted by the parent saying, " N.M.T.B."

by jpg3 August 11, 2010

monkeytoes

When someone can use their toes to pick things up or pinch you they have monkeytoes.

She used her monkeytoes to masturbate her lover to orgasm.

by jpg3 July 22, 2011

I'm driving

The thing constantly said by a teenager once they get their learner permit for a drivers license. Usually repeated numerous times in any given day and mostly when the parents announce having to go someplace for something.

Mom to dad," I have to go pick up Jr., need anything ?"
Teenage daughter grabs keys and says," I'm driving."

by jpg3 September 28, 2010

socktarded

When the simple task of putting socks onto your feet becomes an impossible challenge.

One friend to another," How did you get that cast on your arm?"
Reply back," I went socktarded while standing on one leg, fell over and broke it."

by jpg3 November 25, 2011

stepasshole

A stepasshole can be male or female and is the bad step-parent that gives the good step-parents a negative image. The majority of step-parents are doing their best and trying to make everything work out all around for everybody involved yet the opposite is true of the stepasshole whom only cares about the one, themself.

Two newly remarried moms with children from the previous spouses are comparing their new husbands. One mom says," This is working out far better than I could have imagined, the kids love him and he adores them."
The other moms reply is," Thats nice, lucky you. My lifes miserable, this jerks selfish, uncaring and I don't get any help from him in anything. He treats me and my kids like shit. He ain't no stepdad he's a stepasshole."

by jpg3 October 23, 2010

the funny bunch

Those fucking crazy relatives the rest of the family don't want anything to do with.

During the family reunion everyone stopped and stared at a convoy of vehicles rolling to a stop and in the stunned silence a collective gasp of terror was heard from all because the funny bunch had arrived.

by jpg3 July 31, 2011