joedaprogramma's definitions
A funt is the abbreviated form of the phrase "fat cunt". It is used in hostile situations and is a dense, multi-faceted , gender-neutral and highly effective insult. Men can be funts; women too. It shocks the recipient into pitiful self-recognition and can injure them psychically, making it a sort of delicious "tactical nuke" favored by the truly verbally brutal looking to land that knock-out blow.
Listen, ya FUNT. You've never had a pretty day in your life, you've shit several pups and now you want to start World War Three with the store manager because they stopped selling your favorite baked goods. Maybe you should just leave and walk home, getting those bulbous labia some badly needed exercise!! ...Oh shit, I thought you were a lady , Mister President !
by joedaprogramma December 26, 2018
Get the funtmug. A hairpothesis is an enthusiastic idea one gets about one's hairstyle that is promptly implemented often without good result.
What's the hairpothesis with that danceline ? They look like sea otters !! When they slap the floor and hoot like that it makes me think they're trying to get us to ignore their uniform new hairstyle !! Are they trying to look like that Robert Palmer video from the 80s ?? Tough look to get away with...
by joedaprogramma June 7, 2023
Get the hairpothesismug. The memorable and gross experience of getting a really bad handshake from a limp-wristed person. The handshake feels like trying to grip the head of a dead fish and reflects someone who was never taught to shake hands properly.
The feeling of revulsion : typically persists for at least 30 seconds, recurs every time it is thought about AND especially when one sees "the limpy" again. Its recurring nature casts "the limpy" in a perpetually bad light. The sufferer of the experience sometimes foolishly tries to correct it by retrying the handshake only to get slipped the fish again, making the memory & suffering even worse.
The feeling of revulsion : typically persists for at least 30 seconds, recurs every time it is thought about AND especially when one sees "the limpy" again. Its recurring nature casts "the limpy" in a perpetually bad light. The sufferer of the experience sometimes foolishly tries to correct it by retrying the handshake only to get slipped the fish again, making the memory & suffering even worse.
Tyrell: Malik from Accounting just DOES NOT have a firm handshake...
Sally: Yeah I got slipped the fish by that one the first time I met him. Now when I see him I shiver. Yuck. He's a wiener leaner too...
Tyrell: Is he ill ?? or what ?
Sally: Yeah I got slipped the fish by that one the first time I met him. Now when I see him I shiver. Yuck. He's a wiener leaner too...
Tyrell: Is he ill ?? or what ?
by joedaprogramma March 10, 2014
Get the slipped the fishmug. To use ones authority to obstruct someone as pay pack for failing to support.
For example in September 2013 New Jersey Governor Chris Christie's staff orange-coned Ft. Lee, New Jersey as pay back because the mayor of Ft. Lee failed to support Christie for Governor. In this case, orange cones were literally used to obstruct 3 lanes of the George Washington Bridge (GWB) into Manhattan from Ft. Lee : victimizing countless innocent commuters, causing dangerous gridlock and endangering public safety.
Fatty had NO IDEA .... yeah-right-Get-the-fuck-outta-heer !
For example in September 2013 New Jersey Governor Chris Christie's staff orange-coned Ft. Lee, New Jersey as pay back because the mayor of Ft. Lee failed to support Christie for Governor. In this case, orange cones were literally used to obstruct 3 lanes of the George Washington Bridge (GWB) into Manhattan from Ft. Lee : victimizing countless innocent commuters, causing dangerous gridlock and endangering public safety.
Fatty had NO IDEA .... yeah-right-Get-the-fuck-outta-heer !
Patti : Why are the restrooms nearest to our desks "Closed Until Further Notice" ?
Tony: We got orange-coned by Alex the janitor because I promoted Tyrell to be Chief Custodian instead of him. Now Alex says he's doing a "Plumbing Study".
Patti: I gotta pee !
Tony: We got orange-coned by Alex the janitor because I promoted Tyrell to be Chief Custodian instead of him. Now Alex says he's doing a "Plumbing Study".
Patti: I gotta pee !
by joedaprogramma January 11, 2014
Get the orange-conemug. The phrase uttered by a seriously constipated person as a good-luck expression just before trying a waxy suppository for the very first time (typically one you steal from your grandma's medicine cabinet).
20 minutes later, you find out how fuckin' wise grandma actually is.
20 minutes later, you find out how fuckin' wise grandma actually is.
Molly: (whispering) ....Fire in the hole ....
(20 minutes later, after Molly shits her colon inside-out and rinses it in the sink)
Grandma: (Knock-knock) ....Oh, honey, run the fan and light a match.
(20 minutes later, after Molly shits her colon inside-out and rinses it in the sink)
Grandma: (Knock-knock) ....Oh, honey, run the fan and light a match.
by joedaprogramma January 8, 2013
Get the Fire in the holemug.