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joedaprogramma's definitions

blubbersowse

A fat sow that cries and drinks rum a lot
Kaitlyn: Where is she ?
Gustav: At the bar , weeping and slamming shots.

Kaitlyn: Again ? She's 220 pounds !
(together) blubbersowse !!
by joedaprogramma December 9, 2024
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2D3D Shock

Webcam communicating with someone 2D at work for years only to meet them in person 3D suddenly causing serious disconcerting shock.
I got 2D3D shock when I met the offshore team from Madrid at the conference. Alejandra is hawt.
by joedaprogramma February 23, 2024
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hairpothesis

A hairpothesis is an enthusiastic idea one gets about one's hairstyle that is promptly implemented often without good result.
What's the hairpothesis with that danceline ? They look like sea otters !! When they slap the floor and hoot like that it makes me think they're trying to get us to ignore their uniform new hairstyle !! Are they trying to look like that Robert Palmer video from the 80s ?? Tough look to get away with...
by joedaprogramma June 7, 2023
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Big Bowl of Mistake-i-oes for Breakfast

The Breakfast of fuck-ups : not for everyone every day but certainly everyone at least once. A breakfast of bad ideas one eats early in the morning then shits throughout the day in a series of missteps and failures like : flat tires, lost car keys, broken friendships, tax audits and fist fights over low-priced household goods or parking spaces. Always to be avoided.
Evan: That's a girl's jacket.

Tucker: Huh ?

Evan: The zipper and buttons. They're on the wrong side. It's a woman's jacket. You're wearing a woman's jacket.

Tucker: ....I got it at a consignment store; I honestly did not know. Will you run me down with your car, please ?

Evan: After I send this picture around I will. You ate a Big Bowl of Mistake-i-oes for Breakfast !
Tucker: Make it look like an accident.
by joedaprogramma November 22, 2020
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funt

A funt is the abbreviated form of the phrase "fat cunt". It is used in hostile situations and is a dense, multi-faceted , gender-neutral and highly effective insult. Men can be funts; women too. It shocks the recipient into pitiful self-recognition and can injure them psychically, making it a sort of delicious "tactical nuke" favored by the truly verbally brutal looking to land that knock-out blow.
Listen, ya FUNT. You've never had a pretty day in your life, you've shit several pups and now you want to start World War Three with the store manager because they stopped selling your favorite baked goods. Maybe you should just leave and walk home, getting those bulbous labia some badly needed exercise!! ...Oh shit, I thought you were a lady , Mister President !
by joedaprogramma December 26, 2018
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Jersey Louie

A Jersey Louie is a right-hand turn followed by an immediate U-turn near the same intersection, in simulation of the compulsory jug-handle left turns common in the State of New Jersey. They intentionally effectuate a very safe left turn over the intersection , and are similar in shape to a jug-handle turn (without actually being one). A Jersey Louie is a ideal for when an accident or other fuck-up is clogging your egress leftward. Legend has it that Jersey Louies are the informal antecedent of formal jug-handle intersections.
Hotchkiss: I need to turn Eastbound but that ice cream truck is busted down in the left turn lane.

Michaela: Do a Jersey Louie.

Hotchkiss: Good thinking! A Thousand Blessings ! We slipped past that cluster-fuck at the light !
by joedaprogramma July 28, 2016
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Shit-Cargo

'Shit-Cargo' is an insulting name for the City of Chicago given by Minnesotans to that sweaty load of feces in Illinois that calls itself 'great' every chance it gets. (The full formal insult usage is 'Shitty of Shit-Cargo'.)

Minnesotans are particularly fond of referring to the murderous load this way when forced to travel there on business or for a funeral. From the snot-nosed North Shore to the goddamned ghetto South Side, Shit-Cargo is a : stinky, bullet-ridden, corrupt & rotten pile of shit.
Chris : Big plans for the weekend ?

Terry: Going to Shit-Cargo for a Twins away game.

Chris : ...So sorry ...
by joedaprogramma April 26, 2014
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