Webcam communicating with someone 2D at work for years only to meet them in person 3D suddenly causing serious disconcerting shock.
by joedaprogramma February 23, 2024
The phrase uttered by a seriously constipated person as a good-luck expression just before trying a waxy suppository for the very first time (typically one you steal from your grandma's medicine cabinet).
20 minutes later, you find out how fuckin' wise grandma actually is.
20 minutes later, you find out how fuckin' wise grandma actually is.
Molly: (whispering) ....Fire in the hole ....
(20 minutes later, after Molly shits her colon inside-out and rinses it in the sink)
Grandma: (Knock-knock) ....Oh, honey, run the fan and light a match.
(20 minutes later, after Molly shits her colon inside-out and rinses it in the sink)
Grandma: (Knock-knock) ....Oh, honey, run the fan and light a match.
by joedaprogramma January 09, 2013
To lose ones temper in a surprising and entertaining way, exhibiting courage and testiness that clearly proves one's status as a non-pussy.
Mike: I bust loose on Cheyenne yesterday about her drinking.
Todd: Good you. Do that one a favor. Sheesh. Drive her to the meeting.
Mike: She can drive her own ass to the meeting.
Todd: Good you. Do that one a favor. Sheesh. Drive her to the meeting.
Mike: She can drive her own ass to the meeting.
by joedaprogramma December 28, 2013
A rotcock is somebody who has REALLY pissed you off with bad customer service. The word itself suggests that they have a venereal disease, but in fact they're just somebody who gave poor service out of stupidity. You're so angry at them that you have difficulty thinking clearly. Rotcocks : hate their job, cannot read, blow spit bubbles, love Tony Danza and are incapable of giving a shit.
Customer: Fries, shake and cheeseburger please.
Rotcock: Hold on a sec; I'm drooling in the ice cream machine and staring at the mop bucket.
Customer (20 minutes later) : That rotcock forgot my fries !
Rotcock: Hold on a sec; I'm drooling in the ice cream machine and staring at the mop bucket.
Customer (20 minutes later) : That rotcock forgot my fries !
by joedaprogramma January 01, 2014
A funt is the abbreviated form of the phrase "fat cunt". It is used in hostile situations and is a dense, multi-faceted , gender-neutral and highly effective insult. Men can be funts; women too. It shocks the recipient into pitiful self-recognition and can injure them psychically, making it a sort of delicious "tactical nuke" favored by the truly verbally brutal looking to land that knock-out blow.
Listen, ya FUNT. You've never had a pretty day in your life, you've shit several pups and now you want to start World War Three with the store manager because they stopped selling your favorite baked goods. Maybe you should just leave and walk home, getting those bulbous labia some badly needed exercise!! ...Oh shit, I thought you were a lady , Mister President !
by joedaprogramma December 27, 2018
A Jersey Louie is a right-hand turn followed by an immediate U-turn near the same intersection, in simulation of the compulsory jug-handle left turns common in the State of New Jersey. They intentionally effectuate a very safe left turn over the intersection , and are similar in shape to a jug-handle turn (without actually being one). A Jersey Louie is a ideal for when an accident or other fuck-up is clogging your egress leftward. Legend has it that Jersey Louies are the informal antecedent of formal jug-handle intersections.
Hotchkiss: I need to turn Eastbound but that ice cream truck is busted down in the left turn lane.
Michaela: Do a Jersey Louie.
Hotchkiss: Good thinking! A Thousand Blessings ! We slipped past that cluster-fuck at the light !
Michaela: Do a Jersey Louie.
Hotchkiss: Good thinking! A Thousand Blessings ! We slipped past that cluster-fuck at the light !
by joedaprogramma July 28, 2016
'Shit-Cargo' is an insulting name for the City of Chicago given by Minnesotans to that sweaty load of feces in Illinois that calls itself 'great' every chance it gets. (The full formal insult usage is 'Shitty of Shit-Cargo'.)
Minnesotans are particularly fond of referring to the murderous load this way when forced to travel there on business or for a funeral. From the snot-nosed North Shore to the goddamned ghetto South Side, Shit-Cargo is a : stinky, bullet-ridden, corrupt & rotten pile of shit.
Minnesotans are particularly fond of referring to the murderous load this way when forced to travel there on business or for a funeral. From the snot-nosed North Shore to the goddamned ghetto South Side, Shit-Cargo is a : stinky, bullet-ridden, corrupt & rotten pile of shit.
Chris : Big plans for the weekend ?
Terry: Going to Shit-Cargo for a Twins away game.
Chris : ...So sorry ...
Terry: Going to Shit-Cargo for a Twins away game.
Chris : ...So sorry ...
by joedaprogramma April 26, 2014