10 definitions by joedaprogramma
A funt is the abbreviated form of the phrase "fat cunt". It is used in hostile situations and is a dense, multi-faceted , gender-neutral and highly effective insult. Men can be funts; women too. It shocks the recipient into pitiful self-recognition and can injure them psychically, making it a sort of delicious "tactical nuke" favored by the truly verbally brutal looking to land that knock-out blow.
Listen, ya FUNT. You've never had a pretty day in your life, you've shit several pups and now you want to start World War Three with the store manager because they stopped selling your favorite baked goods. Maybe you should just leave and walk home, getting those bulbous labia some badly needed exercise!! ...Oh shit, I thought you were a lady , Mister President !
by joedaprogramma December 27, 2018
A rotcock is somebody who has REALLY pissed you off with bad customer service. The word itself suggests that they have a venereal disease, but in fact they're just somebody who gave poor service out of stupidity. You're so angry at them that you have difficulty thinking clearly. Rotcocks : hate their job, cannot read, blow spit bubbles, love Tony Danza and are incapable of giving a shit.
Customer: Fries, shake and cheeseburger please.
Rotcock: Hold on a sec; I'm drooling in the ice cream machine and staring at the mop bucket.
Customer (20 minutes later) : That rotcock forgot my fries !
Rotcock: Hold on a sec; I'm drooling in the ice cream machine and staring at the mop bucket.
Customer (20 minutes later) : That rotcock forgot my fries !
by joedaprogramma January 1, 2014
'Shit-Cargo' is an insulting name for the City of Chicago given by Minnesotans to that sweaty load of feces in Illinois that calls itself 'great' every chance it gets. (The full formal insult usage is 'Shitty of Shit-Cargo'.)
Minnesotans are particularly fond of referring to the murderous load this way when forced to travel there on business or for a funeral. From the snot-nosed North Shore to the goddamned ghetto South Side, Shit-Cargo is a : stinky, bullet-ridden, corrupt & rotten pile of shit.
Minnesotans are particularly fond of referring to the murderous load this way when forced to travel there on business or for a funeral. From the snot-nosed North Shore to the goddamned ghetto South Side, Shit-Cargo is a : stinky, bullet-ridden, corrupt & rotten pile of shit.
Chris : Big plans for the weekend ?
Terry: Going to Shit-Cargo for a Twins away game.
Chris : ...So sorry ...
Terry: Going to Shit-Cargo for a Twins away game.
Chris : ...So sorry ...
by joedaprogramma April 26, 2014
The memorable and gross experience of getting a really bad handshake from a limp-wristed person. The handshake feels like trying to grip the head of a dead fish and reflects someone who was never taught to shake hands properly.
The feeling of revulsion : typically persists for at least 30 seconds, recurs every time it is thought about AND especially when one sees "the limpy" again. Its recurring nature casts "the limpy" in a perpetually bad light. The sufferer of the experience sometimes foolishly tries to correct it by retrying the handshake only to get slipped the fish again, making the memory & suffering even worse.
The feeling of revulsion : typically persists for at least 30 seconds, recurs every time it is thought about AND especially when one sees "the limpy" again. Its recurring nature casts "the limpy" in a perpetually bad light. The sufferer of the experience sometimes foolishly tries to correct it by retrying the handshake only to get slipped the fish again, making the memory & suffering even worse.
Tyrell: Malik from Accounting just DOES NOT have a firm handshake...
Sally: Yeah I got slipped the fish by that one the first time I met him. Now when I see him I shiver. Yuck. He's a wiener leaner too...
Tyrell: Is he ill ?? or what ?
Sally: Yeah I got slipped the fish by that one the first time I met him. Now when I see him I shiver. Yuck. He's a wiener leaner too...
Tyrell: Is he ill ?? or what ?
by joedaprogramma March 2, 2014
A Jersey Louie is a right-hand turn followed by an immediate U-turn near the same intersection, in simulation of the compulsory jug-handle left turns common in the State of New Jersey. They intentionally effectuate a very safe left turn over the intersection , and are similar in shape to a jug-handle turn (without actually being one). A Jersey Louie is a ideal for when an accident or other fuck-up is clogging your egress leftward. Legend has it that Jersey Louies are the informal antecedent of formal jug-handle intersections.
Hotchkiss: I need to turn Eastbound but that ice cream truck is busted down in the left turn lane.
Michaela: Do a Jersey Louie.
Hotchkiss: Good thinking! A Thousand Blessings ! We slipped past that cluster-fuck at the light !
Michaela: Do a Jersey Louie.
Hotchkiss: Good thinking! A Thousand Blessings ! We slipped past that cluster-fuck at the light !
by joedaprogramma July 28, 2016
The Breakfast of fuck-ups : not for everyone every day but certainly everyone at least once. A breakfast of bad ideas one eats early in the morning then shits throughout the day in a series of missteps and failures like : flat tires, lost car keys, broken friendships, tax audits and fist fights over low-priced household goods or parking spaces. Always to be avoided.
Evan: That's a girl's jacket.
Tucker: Huh ?
Evan: The zipper and buttons. They're on the wrong side. It's a woman's jacket. You're wearing a woman's jacket.
Tucker: ....I got it at a consignment store; I honestly did not know. Will you run me down with your car, please ?
Evan: After I send this picture around I will. You ate a Big Bowl of Mistake-i-oes for Breakfast !
Tucker: Make it look like an accident.
Tucker: Huh ?
Evan: The zipper and buttons. They're on the wrong side. It's a woman's jacket. You're wearing a woman's jacket.
Tucker: ....I got it at a consignment store; I honestly did not know. Will you run me down with your car, please ?
Evan: After I send this picture around I will. You ate a Big Bowl of Mistake-i-oes for Breakfast !
Tucker: Make it look like an accident.
by joedaprogramma November 22, 2020
A hairpothesis is an enthusiastic idea one gets about one's hairstyle that is promptly implemented often without good result.
What's the hairpothesis with that danceline ? They look like sea otters !! When they slap the floor and hoot like that it makes me think they're trying to get us to ignore their uniform new hairstyle !! Are they trying to look like that Robert Palmer video from the 80s ?? Tough look to get away with...
by joedaprogramma June 8, 2023