ass breath

The breath of a vegetarian. They sit around smuggly odering carrot juice and similar shit, thinking that they're the cat's meow, when in fact, you could weld with their breath.

He: This Volvo was owned by a Professor.

She: How do you know?

He: can't you smell the ass breath?

by Hoze December 20, 2004

shitwig

A tenured Economics professor.

Pretrial discovery is beginning -- have we hired a shitwig yet?

by hoze November 23, 2003

car bomb

kar' bom <middle english> favorite weapon of goatfuckers the world over.

Yo, muhammad, I can't find our F-16, so lets just blow some kids up with a car bomb. Allah Akbar!

by hoze September 14, 2004

screw

The main thing that the cold prevents in Minnesota.

Say, Mom, we haven't screwed since the Truman administration, you betcha!

by hoze February 14, 2005

Richard Gere

When Hollywood wants to make yet another chick flick and doesn't want to pay for talent (why would you in a chick flick) Gere's name comes right up.

Director Hoib Goldbaum: "Say, lets make a movie with a mindless plot with shameless exploitation of every human emotion, depicting a lapdog husband under the control of a beautiful middle aged soccer mom who dresses well and has suspicously young children with fake southern accents."

Producer Sol Horowitz: "So you don't think Gere's already working?"

Goldbaum: "Working? Yeah, he's working with a gerbil!"

by Hoze December 25, 2004

Toyota

A support system for a stainless steel exhaust tip for those who have micro dicks. A cramped little shitbox with a 5cc sewing machine motor. Something to bolt a grocery cart handle to while the zit faced asslick behind the wheel pretends that it's a spoiler.

I think I just squashed another Toyota.

by Hoze April 10, 2006

DUI

(Dee'-you-aye) mod english, punctuation omitted, n., 1) a substiute for a powerful sports car; 2) substitute for racing lessons; 3) a driving technique, esp., for middle aged white men who "drive better drunk than most people do sober" that is useful in getting home before the wife figures out that you're porking the secretary.

One the forth DUI, you might get to be some niggaz bitch!

by Hoze April 24, 2004