harry flashman's definitions

bagoong

Asian delicacy, fermented, salted brine shrimp (need not be kept refrigerated) that smells like your grandfather's spent 2 hours on the toilet overcoming constipation.

Holy batshit, Perlita, open the windows when you cook with bagoong.

by harry flashman July 12, 2003

kidney stone

God's punishment for the evil you've done in this life, a preview of what an eternity in Hell is going to be like unless you straighten up your act.

Whats a kidney stone feel like?...imagine someone lubricating some barbed wire with rock salt, shoving it up your penis...then pull starting the barbed wire like your pelvic area was a stubborn lawnmower.

by harry flashman July 12, 2003

baby hog

A person who monopolizes someone else's infant, usually a mother-in-law or grandmother who believes the parent or parents undeserving of the child.

"God, what a baby hog," said Gretchen, "She's all over that kid like a hound with a ham bone."

by harry flashman October 11, 2003

this is no shit

A preface to a statement or story, meaning: What follows is the absolute truth.

"This is no shit," said Bubba, "I killed a 37 point buck last weekend with a bow at 300 yards."

by harry flashman August 7, 2003

democracy

Great governmental system, doomed to fail once the masses figure out that with their vote they can loot the treasury.

Alex D'Toqueville, some Frog who toured and chronicled America, pointed out about 180 years ago the fatal flaw of democracy.

by harry flashman July 12, 2003

Proctologist

That specialty in the medical profession that seems to attract doctors with large, outsized hairy knuckles and are loathe to trim their fingernails.

Dr. Hamfist, my proctologist, apologized for his recent weight gain and said he would be unable to remove his ring, but, that he would proceed gently.

by harry flashman July 12, 2003

all over it

A variation of the phrase "on it", e.g., ...on it like a fly on shit, ...on it like white on rice.

The last time I made a math error the IRS was all over it like a duck on a junebug.

by harry flashman July 14, 2003