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Definitions by hammer---;, hytham

Fruit-based martini drinks/ cocktails. Mostly are non-alcoholic 'mocktails' (or, mocktinis), though it's important to spike the damn thing with good ol'voddy (vodkatinis).

-crantini: cranberry martini.
-melontini: melon.
-appeltini: green apple.
-clementini: clementine.
-peartini: pear.
-apricotini: apricot.
-tomatini: tomato.
-peachtini: peach (basically called a Billini martini. Bellini is usually made with white peach purée/juice + champagne + crème de péche, you add the vod and bitters to make a martini).

Related cocktailian's inventions:
-chocotini/ chocatini ( 4 vod + 1 crème de cacao, stirred over ice).
-javatini ( vod + Kahlua coffee liquor + espresso garnished with a chocolate twist/ shaving).
-vodka espresso (similar to the Black Russian: 3 'triple' espresso + 2 'double' vod + dash of Kahlua + sugar syrup shaken with ice).
-nicotini (a martini drank by a snoutcast in a 'butt hut'!).
-k'tini (also spelled K-tini: has a saurkraut-stuffed olive instead of the standard piemento!).
-tequinis: tequila-based martinis (*if you are taken aback by the K'tini, then these use a 'tomolive' instead of the usual olive, which is a baby tomato stuffed with a piemento olive except these two:
-Cajun martini (use chili instead of olive).
-coyote martini (made with chilis soaked in the drink for two days).
-dillitini (a large shot of vodka + a small shot of aquavit + a handful of fresh dill. Shake over ice).
-marteanis: tea-based martini drinks like the greenteani (ice greentea martini).
'Martini culture' and 'martini bars' are all the rage in ubercool Japan (that's why it's called J-cool).
On MSNBC the other day, I watched to my shock, a bartender fixing a 'diamond-tini' for a young couple: a 'tini shaken with a 50K$ diamond in it! O_o

*If you still think that I'm bluffing, well, after you drink all those fruitinis have yourself a 'clamato': clam tomato mixture that mixologists like myself swear by as a hangover cure!

sproutarian

One who eats young 1 week green shoots (called 'micro-greens'), because it's believed that these green shoots are rich with bioavailable phyto-nutrient chemicals that has anti-ageing properties, prevent cancer, blah blah blah...
Sproutarians add 'microherbs' to their diet, like chickpea shoots.

juicetarian 

Fresh-squeezed juices are a hoax: they lack the natural fiber that fruit has which can render them 70-60% less bioavailable.
Fruitarians had it almost right, but they also miss direly on other important nutrients not already available in fruit/vegs.
Funny thing is the way them vegetards sometimes cross the line of sanity in dealing with their dietary habits: there is first off, the fruitarian who eats raw fruit/vegs. The juicetarian (also called liquitarian), who only allows fruit-and-veg-based beverages and water! Then again, some might disapprove of this all together and only drink water (called aquatarians/ waterians) and die from extreme malnutrition!
But the most ga-ga of them all is the pseudospiritual, sectarian-cum-vegetarian 'Breatharians': "people free of any need to eat or drink."
Huh!

---;
Human tufu: textured tufu that resembles human skin and made to appear flesh-like for weirdball cannibalist fetishists!

See Cannibalistic Vegetarian, Level 5 Vegan for shits, farts and hearty giggles!
Hufu is part of the new 'fabricated food' industry.
hufu by hammer---;, hytham May 17, 2007

localvores

Also called 'culinarians', food activists, ecogastronomists... and refers to culinazis who advocate traditional local food-harvesting/-making methods (ecogastronomy/ Slow Food/ cuisine de terroir...), in third world countries and other authentic 'food cultures'.
In a return to the early agricultural societies, these localvores offer to buy ethinc people's food stock and interfer with their simple agrarian lives, in what has been adeptly called culinary colonialism!
Localvores are a bunch of quacks: they turn a blind eye to the battle against the 'termination technology' of LMOs (living-modified organisms), GM food and the necrosceince of 'nutrigenomics' that the true activist fooderati warn one day might lead the Earth to 'mutation meltdown' from the ubiquitous 'gene smog' that's already choking our delicate, pristine environment.

hidden hunger

Having no sufficient fruit/veg in one's diet/food-intake. Also means the inability to provide healthy food for one's family.

People in Turd World 'cunt'ries like mine, are always characterized by their angry looks, stiff unhealthy bodies and bad temperament, you lil' foreigners are liable for getting your pretty 'white' teeth knocked at any time just by casually staring at passerbys! It all chalks back to what these goat-grabbing Arabtards put in their bellies: fatty 'empty calories' food (e.g. 'mansef' which is basically overcooked rice "roz" with pieces of either lamb meat "lahem", or chicken "jaj" and sour fermented goat milk "laban" that is also made by border-sharing Syria, Iraq & Sinai in Egypt), that stuff their protruding bellies and block their hearts (literaly and figuratively), and minds.

You cannot in any way figure the same as I, cause simply you aren't locked with the same fools like me! It's worse than what you might think: young men they look older than their real age, women are nothing but horny fatards with a short-fuse and all of them are bonkass crazy!
What else there's to do in Jordan known by its shitty economy and a nonexistent job market other than overeating?!

Almost all of the meat that gets used in the forementioned 'manasef' (pl.), comes from way 'Turdier' countries (mainly Sudan, Bulgaria and Romania), with bad refrigerating methods and recently... serial food-poisoning cases were reported all over Amman and a neighboring city called Ma'adaba! And the local Ammani 'souks' (markets that sell MICs or goods 'made in China'), are abrim with farmed fish fed on cheap fish growth-hormones to make it more 'sellable' (there's a saying here and in other Mid-Rim countries that says, 'The Eye Eats, Not The Mouth'. Go figure!). Fruit is sold in special allocated places called 'hisbah' (sing.) and it's only fourth-grade, non-export produce: better, export-grade fruit/veg are hauled out the 'Kinkdom' and sold to wealthy buyer-powerful Gulf states like Saudi Arabi, Kuwait, U.A.E. and Oman... where the resident 'Gulfans' are fatter than Mastodons!... leaving us po' fucks with nothing edible to put in our mouths, or money to buy anything decent enough to feed our children!

One last thing: I had a nice chat with a swee Southern Bellatrix lately and she, innocently asked me what do we normally have for food. I answered back by stating that, not long ago and because it's already 'springish' in Jordan... the 'only' national TV station ran a 6-o'clock telereport about a 'weed' -- for seriousness! -- called 'khubaiza' (scientific name: Malva parviflora and is known in English as 'little mallow'), that's usually found growing in large quantities around sewage-collecting pipelines (or as we here say, 'masarif el'charah') and the fucking reporter glazed over a bunch of it as he popvoxed the 'seasonal' souk shoppers who couldn't agree more that, yes... it's a perfect, nourishing meat-substitute (not vegan-wise. Mind), because -- their words -- "it's very rich in the blood-boosting mineral iron!". Godfuck! The iron that's in khubaiza isn't even hemic FFFS!
We're not even saved by irony!

Also called 'silent hunger'.
'Food insecurity' is the inability of goverments to provide food for their own people: The 'Assmite Kinkdon of Whordan', which is in addition to being 'food-insecure', suffers from 'hidden hunger' and everybody is after that lost NBH (Next Bowl of Hummus).

feederism 

Feeding fetishism: sexual gratification stemming from feeding oneself or a partner to 'obesity'!
Feederism, also feederist or 'food fetishist'.