herpectomy

n. Removal of a herpetic lesion. A fanciful operation conceived by alternative practitioners and desired by ignorant sufferers.
...........................

So I was all like, "I needs a herpectomy, I got a date tonight!" And he just stares down his stethoscope and says that operation don't exist. Don't exist! I see ads for it on those bus signs every day!

by gnostic3 November 04, 2016

spleen coach

n. Well-dressed earnest motivationalist who helps disaffected urbanites to reach their full potential by unmasking and eliminating any splenocentric phobias, taboos or sexual blocks. Tasty snacks, sachets of aromatic herbs, and vaginal whispering are usually included on a BOGO basis.

.....................................

So much repressed hostility, giggling at the sight of certain flowers, and so many unexplained bruises and episodes of epistaxis;: I think I need a spleen coach.

Or a competent haematologist.

by gnostic3 June 25, 2019

dormer

n. College attendee who decides to spend the semester enjoying dorm life instead of attending classes

............

Being a dormer for four years actually prepared me well for most jobs:; perhaps not neurosurgery.

by gnostic3 October 16, 2019

flaming

v. Engaging in an outrageous activity such as destroying someone’s life online, wearing a lot of feathered boas or, in Canada, supporting the Calgary Flames ice hockey team.

........................

Up for some flaming on the weekend.

Will there be overly-loud music and muscular Canucks fighting?

Do beaver have chiseled teeth?

by gnostic3 February 10, 2020

eclipse

n. Any boring, over-hyped event especially those that allow scientists in an obscure specialty to appear on TV once every 40 years to endlessly explain what's going on.

...............................................................

Hey, you going to watch the House vote to impeach the President?

Nah. It's just another eclipse.

by gnostic3 August 21, 2017

dysdonia

n. Neurologic condition which impairs one's ability to dress properly.

..........................

Can you help me with this tie? I have dysdonia.

Is that why your shoes are different colours? ... And sizes?

by gnostic3 August 30, 2020

second wave

n. Mysterious viral force that will kill us all.

.....................

Yeah, we have successfully flattened the curve. But the second wave is coming soon. Very soon.

by gnostic3 May 21, 2020