gnostic1's definitions

watering the cricketfield

v. phrase. British expression for emptying one's bladder. Originally a euphemism used by Royalty but now used generally to mock the upper crust.

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Excuse me Your Highness. I fear it is high time for me to be watering the cricketfield.

Would you like my groundskeeper to help you with that? She's very good with a hose.

I fear not M'am. Jolly good thought though.

by gnostic1 September 28, 2012

james gang

n. any bunch of losers who talk a lot of smack: named after Lebron James and co.

We are going to beat you two ways from Tuesday. You will be lucky to come in second!

Don't make me smile! You and yours are such a james gang.

by gnostic1 December 11, 2011

lefter

More left. Usually shouted in tense moments when directing covering fire, giving driving instructions etc.
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Don't put the clamp on that you fool! That's the ureter! Clamp to the left of that.

Here?

No!! Lefter!!! Lefter!! Oh God! Nurse, get me five units of blood and my lawyer's phone number.

by gnostic1 September 1, 2011

Tynersburg

place. Industrial city where most of Ohio's fridge magnets are forged. Located where the magnetite miners had easy access to both water and oil Tynersburg grew from a small hamlet to a bustling metropolis at the turn of the century when fridges began to be formed from metal instead of wood.

Home of the Fighting Woodchuks pasanka choir and a Bavarian Beer Stein interpretive center, Tynersburg boasts a bold hold on the past and a niche-based future.

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Isn't Tynersburg the home of both an Olympic archer and a famous composer of Indian ragas?

Why yes. I believe it is, and I think you can buy cleverly constructed fridge magnets celebrating both of them.

by gnostic1 August 10, 2012

milk the goat

1) n. radical skateboarding move in which the rider leaps over an animal while the board runs under the animal. Care should be taken that the animal is not particularly skittish. By extension "milk the steel goat" is the same move but a car is employed instead of an animal.

2) v. sexual euphemism.

Yo! Dude! Check out the Great Dane! Time for a milk the goat! Wanna watch?

Uhhh. You mean the noun, right?

by gnostic1 January 21, 2011

drifter

n. 1) radical skateboarding move in which one moves transversely across a sloped surface so as to induce a skid of the rear wheels.

2) a stock movie character who has a hidden, damaging past and a big heart ... which he usually keeps in a gunnysack.

3) a sexual euphemism.

Dude! Like did you hear man? I totally did a drifter in the skatepark yesterday!

Hmmm. I'm not sure that's something to crow about. Oh! You mean the skater move.

Actually, no.

by gnostic1 August 21, 2011

hammer throw

n. Perhaps the most arcane and archaic field event still contested at the Olympics and only marginally less silly than tug o'war or tossing the caber as a competition for grown ups. Strong lobbying by Canada and Scotland, who use hammer throwing in their cross-training for tossing granite rocks in ice-curling, keeps the sport from going the way of the Dodo and the standing fish-slap.

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Do you think folks would watch the hammer throw if we made the competitors stand in deep sand and wear skimpy bathing suits?

No.

by gnostic1 August 8, 2012