psychosexual

noun:
a male or female who has an insane aesthetic sense and inordinate interest in bottling urine, pulling knives on people, and possibly wearing somebody else's face as a mask or making a human skin suit, similar to that of John Wayne Gacy or the fictional Jame Gumb, "Buffalo Bill", in Silence of the Lambs. But, like, dead sexy in addition to being dangerous creepy and in need of medication.


adjective:
1. to exhibit characteristics of a psychosexual
2. exhibiting undeniable animal magnetism of a distinctly sexual nature despite being dangerous or maladjusted

Etymology: blend of psychotic + sexual
Usage: informal
Brad: "Daaamn, that girl is fine."

Chad: "You don't want anything to do with Taedra, she's psychosexual. Sure, she's hot as Satan's balls, but she does things like stuffing a finger in your ass when you're taking a nap and licking her envelopse with her gash. Also, she pulled a knife on me once when we were playing Monopoly."

Brad: "As long as I'm the racecar, I'll risk it, dude."
by gadiv December 16, 2008
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vaginoskepsis

Vaginoskepsis is derived from the term Omphaloskepsis, which is the contemplation of one's navel as an aid to meditation. Vaginoskepsis is therefor the contemplation of one's vagina.

Omphaloskepsis comes from Greek omphalos (navel) + skepsis (act of looking, examination). Contemporary use of the word is usually made in jest, as "navel-gazing" is more commonly associated with being self-absorbed or involved in pursuits primarily fueled by egotism.

In this vein, Vaginoskepsis refers to being vaginally egocentric. A vaginoskeptic person, typically female and identifying with feminist thought, evaluates the world and the merits of matters in terms that relate to the vagina - more broadly, in terms relating to sex and gender roles, misogyny, and evaluating everything for its potential to sleight or repress females. Particularly vaginoskeptic persons will find ways to infer offense to any given thing, regardless of its actually being misogynistic.
Anita Sarkeesian's vaginoskepsis is so pervasive in her work, she could spin eating a taco into a crass victimization of women, making Mexican food the wife-beater of international cuisine.
by gadiv June 04, 2013
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donkey door

An amusing, "clean" insult featured in Orbit gum commercials as part of their "Dirty Mouth? Clean it up with Orbit" promotion that highlighted the gum's approval by the American Dental Association and Indian Dental Association due to its ability to improve dental health.

The cleanly insulting "donkey door" is probably a replacement for "asshole" as donkeys are also called asses and doors are portals, or holes.
by gadiv November 03, 2009
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philosophy

The love of knowledge and the love of seeking it, then producing exhaustive writings of exhausting and inept metaphors, being refuted by another philosopher's exhausting and inept metaphors, then replying in rebuttal to challengers, ad nauseum. While one of the most noble intellectual pursuits, it is also one of the most masturbatory.
Summa Philosophia: Key Figures in Philosophy, Summarized in 500 Words or Less

Nietzsche = Woot, but mighta had bad thoughts about family members.

Socrates = Straight up gangsta, dat nigga drank any drank put in frunna him.

Plato = Overrated heir apparent of Socrates that screwed up Science for more than a thousand years with First Principles and other useless crap.

Aristotle = Reincarnated some time later into Gene Wilder.

Aquinas = Justified Catholic bullshit from a very comfy chair.

Confucius = Had the same PR agent as Jesus and gets all sorts of cool stuff attributed to him.

Augustine = Converted to Christianity early enough that he was one of the religion's editors - he gave you the God you "know" now by stealing heavily from Plato.

Descartes = Brought intellectualism to new highs and degrees of convolution by rationalizing things instead of pulling new crazy shit out of his ass.

Kant = Changed Minds. No, really - he changed them from being viewed as a cup that sorta just fills up with experiences into a filter and interpreter of sensory data. A computer rather than a trashcan.

Kierkegaard = Brought angst to the forefront of philosophy and did ultimately dehumanizing things that lead to quantifying peoples' lives in terms like "The Average Person spends 1/3rd of his Life Asleep" and other damning, mope-infested whinings about escapism and wasting time. Waste of Time? Kierkegaard.

Lao Tzu = The Asian Sensation. Tao De Ching is a quick read with little novel and even useful tidbits. Like a compilation of fortune cookie fortunes, but better.

John Locke = Shared a few basic principles with Kant. The mind is a house furnished with experiences and sensory input.

Karl Marx = History is the record of class conflict, material interests, and the exchange and exploitation involving them. Philosophy should not just interpret the world, but shape it.

Pascal = Somehow made the first mechanical calculator at age 15 in 1642. Beat that, fuckers. Sadly, he abandoned supermathgenius for philosophy, probably shooting all of humanity in the foot in the process, but he at least contributed to scientific investigation.

Spinoza = Ultimately just another dude that desperately needs God to exist in some fashion, but wrote avidly of ethics and against traditional religious views. Interest in his writing persists in modern environmentalists and ecologists.

Hume = Related the mind in terms of perception (impressions), processing and memory (idea). Like a bunch of other dudes. It was inevitable, really, but thanks for getting your papers in on time. ;D

Leibniz = Desperately tried to resolve The Problem of Evil so that God could be both Omnipotent and Benevolent at the same time and totally looked retarded for it. Voltaire totally burned him in Candide for it.



The ultimate lesson of Philosophy that you will never find in these old dead guys' writing is this: You utilize what is useful and discard what is not. No one has the answer and if someone somehow did, no one else would believe it or realize it. Walk your own way and try not to step on other peoples' toes. Wear comfortable shoes. Bring water.
by gadiv January 09, 2009
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wikipedia snowball

Like a snowball rolling down a mountain, growing ever larger as it continues toward the bottom, a wikipedia snowball occurs when one researches something on the wikipedia, only to then click link after link into subsequent articles of interest until, suddenly, several hours have passed.
Jim: "I'm sorry I'm late, I got caught in a wikipedia snowball. I was looking for information on the new James Bond movie and suddenly four hours had passed. On the bright side, now I know what happens in Marvel Zombies, I can tell you how astronomers gauge the temperature of stars, and why World War I started."

Jim's Boss: "You're still fired."

Jim: "Fuck."
by gadiv March 20, 2008
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Rusty Watch

Foreplay technique, performed by inserting one's hand or fist into a partner's anus and rectum, to the wrist, then inquiring as to what time it is.
Rob performed The Rusty Watch on Kathleen, pushing his hand betwixt her buttocks to his wrist, then asked of her the time of day, to which she cordially responded "Ohhh - it's ... it's like 2:30 or something... mmm."
by gadiv January 21, 2009
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Martuna

The Martuna (Original Recipe)

In a shaker, over ice, combine:

1 part Vodka or Gin,
1 part Dry Vermouth,
1 part Liquid from a Can of Solid White Albacore Tuna (Bumblebee preferrable)
Quarter Teaspoon of Lemon Juice (per every 1 part Dry Vermouth)

Shake vigorously. Strain into martini glass(es) and garnish with shrimp (de-shelled, preferrably steamed).

Enjoy within the proximity of a bucket, trash receptacle, or toilet, as such sophisticated flavors may disagree with mundane palates.
After an evening of perusing the local art galleries, we retired for the evening to the members' lounge and chatted over Martunas long into the night.
by gadiv October 18, 2007
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