Definitions by floorfly

hedge hog 

A man you encourage your daughter to date, wed, or procreate with so you have a hedge fund for your non existent social security. Also known as "Fat F@#$%." Guys that have no other redeeming quality than a paycheck. Also see
"Mr. Collins" from Pride & Prejudice.

I used to be worried about my retirement, until my daughter
found her new hedge hog on e-harmony.

I don't know what I would do without my hedge hog fund... I am so glad I decided to procreate when I was 16, now I can retire at 35.

hedge hog by floorfly December 1, 2010

Natural Methodist

1. A born again birth control user who excessively claims to be using natural birth control method; and gives TMI about her cycle, her sex life, and her religious beliefs.

2. The natural methodist method is based on a trinity of ideas overshadowed by one all encompassing truth. Firstly, that women ovulate 14 days before menstruation begins, give or take two days. Secondly, that sperm can survive inside a woman for three days. That an egg can only be fertilized within 24 hours of being released from the ovaries.
And lastly, that anyone at work gives a shit.

She's a total Natural Methodist; she would have never made it through high school or technical school if she really was using the the rhythm method. I can't eat hard boiled eggs anymore since she told me when she ovulates.

Natural Methodist by floorfly November 21, 2010

no homeo 

Phrase used after one inadvertently says something that sounds like a natural or homeopathic cure, without intending to be aggressively granola.

Try oscillo for the flu, no homeo.

no homeo by FloorFly November 15, 2010

shelf esteem

When someone builds their self esteem from self help books.

My coworker just added Dr. Phil to her shelf esteem library, now everyday at lunch its Dr. P said this Dr. P said that.

shelf esteem by floorfly November 15, 2010

Pill-Lattes 

When desperate housewives mix Lattes with pain killers to get through their day.

I find Pill-Lattes helps me stay mentally in shape. I take one one skinny sugar free vanilla no foam latte with a hydrocodone then drop the kids off at school, and then I go to book club or the Y until its time to pick the kids back up.

Pill-Lattes by floorfly November 15, 2010

fun infertility 

When someone has so many kids they can't support a fun
lifestyle for themselves.

Joe never gets a latte on coffee runs or goes to happy hour; he has fun infertility, he's got to pay child support on all 5 of those kids.

fun infertility by floorfly November 15, 2010

salary challenged 

Unemployed or when living beyond ones means catches up with oneself.

Qdoba catered their wedding, they are salary challenged.

salary challenged by floorfly November 15, 2010