Definitions by FloorFly
hedge hog
A man you encourage your daughter to date, wed, or procreate with so you have a hedge fund for your non existent social security. Also known as "Fat F@#$%." Guys that have no other redeeming quality than a paycheck. Also see
"Mr. Collins" from Pride & Prejudice.
"Mr. Collins" from Pride & Prejudice.
I used to be worried about my retirement, until my daughter
found her new hedge hog on e-harmony.
I don't know what I would do without my hedge hog fund... I am so glad I decided to procreate when I was 16, now I can retire at 35.
found her new hedge hog on e-harmony.
I don't know what I would do without my hedge hog fund... I am so glad I decided to procreate when I was 16, now I can retire at 35.
Natural Methodist
1. A born again birth control user who excessively claims to be using natural birth control method; and gives TMI about her cycle, her sex life, and her religious beliefs.
2. The natural methodist method is based on a trinity of ideas overshadowed by one all encompassing truth. Firstly, that women ovulate 14 days before menstruation begins, give or take two days. Secondly, that sperm can survive inside a woman for three days. That an egg can only be fertilized within 24 hours of being released from the ovaries.
And lastly, that anyone at work gives a shit.
2. The natural methodist method is based on a trinity of ideas overshadowed by one all encompassing truth. Firstly, that women ovulate 14 days before menstruation begins, give or take two days. Secondly, that sperm can survive inside a woman for three days. That an egg can only be fertilized within 24 hours of being released from the ovaries.
And lastly, that anyone at work gives a shit.
She's a total Natural Methodist; she would have never made it through high school or technical school if she really was using the the rhythm method. I can't eat hard boiled eggs anymore since she told me when she ovulates.
Natural Methodist by floorfly November 21, 2010
no homeo
Phrase used after one inadvertently says something that sounds like a natural or homeopathic cure, without intending to be aggressively granola.
shelf esteem
My coworker just added Dr. Phil to her shelf esteem library, now everyday at lunch its Dr. P said this Dr. P said that.
shelf esteem by floorfly November 15, 2010
Pill-Lattes
I find Pill-Lattes helps me stay mentally in shape. I take one one skinny sugar free vanilla no foam latte with a hydrocodone then drop the kids off at school, and then I go to book club or the Y until its time to pick the kids back up.
Pill-Lattes by floorfly November 15, 2010
accountability co-worker
A coworker who tallies up how much money you spend on lattes and lunch, then makes the assumption you must make 10k more than them. When in reality your disposable income is in direct correlation to how many dependents you have not or lack of lexus sized car payment.
Wow, you are drinking another latter... that's the fifth one this week. I am saving up for my kids braces. I wish I could have a latte everyday. "I guess you are my accountability co-worker... You are right I should stop drinking lattes, going out to lunch and taking birth control so I can live your dream lifestyle of fun infertility."
accountability co-worker by floorfly November 15, 2010
fun infertility
Joe never gets a latte on coffee runs or goes to happy hour; he has fun infertility, he's got to pay child support on all 5 of those kids.
fun infertility by floorfly November 15, 2010