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edw007's definitions

V.D.S.

I think I'm having V.D.S.; I'm really sore since I haven't even got laid since last year!
by edw007 February 16, 2005
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shove comes to shovel

"If push comes to shove" means that a slight push will escalate into a fight, then this means that you're fighting the opponents until you have to bury them. In other words, this is the next step up in escalation, often as an extreme last-resort measure.
"Hey Mark, aren't you supposed to be studying for finals instead the Saturday night happy hour?"
"Nah, it's in 2 weeks, so I'll just wing it and study at a relaxed pace."
"Bro. You DO know that it's actually next week, right?"
"Oh damn, I gotta get studying! If push comes to shove, I'll just wing it all throughout the week though."
"But Mr. Smith's test is on Monday!"
"Now it looks like the time when shove comes to shovel... I'm gonna have to pull an all-nighter or two."
by edw007 June 14, 2019
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2nd Column Shopper

When someone shops based on the price alone instead of the actual item they are buying, derived from the fact that most websites, menus and whatnot lists their price on the 2nd column. In other words, either a cheapskate or automatically assuming the most expensive option is best (open to interpretation).
1. "Mary only bought a side of eggs because it was the cheapest option on the menu, and she's still hungry. What a 2nd column shopper."
2. "Mike just got $100K car, but completely ignoring the fact that it has the reliability of a heroin junkie having withdrawal. Gotta love people who only look at the 2nd column!"
by edw007 January 23, 2019
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walking blowjob

Someone who is a waste of space, where the load required to conceive them would've been better off swallowed during a blowjob, but that person is unfortunately living and breathing alongside the rest of society instead.
"I can't stand Roxie... She's a spoiled, inconsiderate and judgmental trust fund baby, when if you take away her looks and daddy's money, she's just a walking blowjob with an IQ lower than her shoe size."

"They would be delighted to tell you how suave they were at the drop of a hat/There was three of 'em/One of 'em thought she was a beauty queen/
The other one was a walking blowjob/And then there was a skinny girl"
-Frank Zappa, Jazz Discharge Party Hats (where I got the word from)
by edw007 May 19, 2021
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Hondouche

Honda-driving douchebag; usually a Honda (or often Acura) owner who thinks they own the road.
I just saw a totally riced-out Honda run a red light and T-bone someone... What a hondouche.
by edw007 May 14, 2016
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panda eyes

When one punches both eyes of another person and gives the victim 2 black eyes; causing the victim to have a strong facial resemblance of the panda.
I caught my girl cheating on me, so I grabbed sancho and beat the living hell out of him, and finished by knocking him out by punching the spleen, sprinkling birdseed and honey all over him, dragging his naked body onto a crowded street before finishing off his punk arse with a nice set of panda eyes. That'll teach him not to cheat again.
by edw007 October 2, 2007
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Patel Motel

A motel that has been bought out by people of East Indian descent, especially owned by someone often (but not always) with the surname of Patel, due to most (but not all) Patels being part of the Indian caste for owning land, and also because it rhymes (Jat Motel doesn't have the same ring to it), most often by buying out a defunct motel location "as-is" and making no efforts to improve the property after acquisition.

Normally this should be insignificant, but if you land a cheap motel in a state of disrepair and just barely meeting habitability standards and/or has bad housekeeping, there's a good chance your motel is Indian-owned (but as repeatedly emphasized, not always). "Patel Hotel" can also be used when applicable to a hotel (especially the OYO Hotel franchise).

See also Potel.
I tried to be open-minded when I saw a statue of Ganesha while checking in, but the towels are brownish gray, the bed has a popped-out spring held in place by duct tape, half of the hallway lights are burnt out, and getting woken up by a cockroach crawling on my face are facts too hard to ignore the fact that I accidentally reserved a Patel Motel.
by edw007 April 14, 2025
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