earpuller's definitions

FOR ME TO POOP ON!

from the "Late Night with Conan O'Brian" show. Standard insult given by Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog. Used at the end of a sentence to change a comment/statement/compliment into an insult or put-down. Notice the context of the sentence examples to see how to use it (or decline to use it.)

good time to use it: Oh yes, I just bought your new CD, Ashlee, and it is the greatest thing in the world.....FOR ME TO POOP ON!
bad time to use it: Mom, can you make some Rice Krispies treats......FOR ME TO POOP ON? *gets smacked by Mom, then Dad, then by the rest of the family*

by earpuller December 28, 2005

judge joe brown

verb-to be told off or schooled by an older man, who is probably right for getting on your ass. If it's an older woman, use the verb judge judy.

bobby: when my dad finds out i wrecked his car he's gonna judge joe brown me for hours.

by earpuller October 1, 2005

like giving a flashlight to a blind man

committing an act of such uselessness that it has negative value.

pete: so why did you loan that douchebag $500? he already owes you $2500 for that car he bought from you!
clete: well, he promised if he hit it big at the casino, he'd give me double the money he owes me, so i figured "what the hell?"
pete: it's bad enough you buy this guy's bull shit, but ignoring his past is like giving a flashlight to a blind man. next time, just burn your spare cash.

by earpuller November 21, 2010

barf bag

noun: 1. a paper bag supplied by airlines in case of air sickness.
2. a person who seems about as attractive as such an item.

1. passenger on airplane-whew, I feel sick to my stomach! I've gotta use the barf bag..........(RALPH).........man, shoulda used dramamine.....(SPEW)................
2. upset citizen-hey, barf bag! Keep yer fucking dog off my lawn and turn down that god-damned radio!!! And get a haircut!!!

by earpuller December 28, 2005

chew harder

when someone says "tough shit," you use this little phrase as a comeback/response/rejoinder.

will: man, i've got to work all day saturday. guess i won't get to go to the ballgame with you guys.
bill: aw, tough shit.
will: REALLY? CHEW HARDER!!!

by earpuller November 21, 2010

metrasexual

1. one who engages in sexual activities on public transport, especially on trains in the chicagoland area.
2. one who gets all wet thinking about trains, especially commuter trains in chicago.
3. how a southern gentleman might pronounce "metrosexual."

1. hey guys, kelly blew me while we were riding home to fox lake on the train. maybe she'll fuck me if we ride the elgin line!!
2. ohmigod, i almost missed the 5:35 westbound to aurora.....wait, here it comes....ohhhh..... ooooooohhhh....... aaahhhhhhh. that was great.
3. son, what in hail do you mean, "ah'm a metrasexual, grampa?" does that mean yer one a those nancy boys from new york city?

by earpuller April 28, 2006

lane blocking

the practice of preventing another driver from changing lanes. specifically, when a driver wants to change lanes while through-travelling, but finds himself stuck behind slower traffic, he may wish to pass the other vehicle. a lane blocker, however, will find a way to keep the passing driver stuck in postition, making it impossible for the passing driver to get around safely. usually this is a passive action, as opposed to on-ramp blocking or offramp blocking; often the offending driver is unaware of the faster car wanting to go past (often because the offender is talking on a cell phone.)

eric: come on man, just pass this truck! we're going to be late for the concert!
derrick: i can't pass him! the damned avalon in front of us is lane blocking me!
eric: flash your high-beams to get his attention!
derrick: i tried, but he's talking on his cell phone! must be more important than driving safely.
eric: what a dumbass bastard}!

by earpuller July 2, 2006