earpuller's definitions
similar to naughty little rhymes (if this wasn't published, just follow along,) naughty haiku uses the classic japanese poem structure combined with good old American sex-obsession to create a new art form. The form of a haiku is always as follows-
first line=five syllables
second line=seven syllables
third line=five syllables
-so now just add some semi-pornographic, naughty, or just silly ideas, and voila! naughty haiku!
first line=five syllables
second line=seven syllables
third line=five syllables
-so now just add some semi-pornographic, naughty, or just silly ideas, and voila! naughty haiku!
here some examples of naughty haiku-
her bosom heaving,
jiggling, as she runs away
from me, down the road.
sometimes i stare out
from my window, watching her
as she trims her bush.
gee, i didn't know
she was only fifteen, sir.
off to jail with me.
the couple wriggled
and writhed, moaning in passion;
then the tape ran out.
her bosom heaving,
jiggling, as she runs away
from me, down the road.
sometimes i stare out
from my window, watching her
as she trims her bush.
gee, i didn't know
she was only fifteen, sir.
off to jail with me.
the couple wriggled
and writhed, moaning in passion;
then the tape ran out.
by earpuller July 15, 2006
Get the naughty haiku mug.the annoying tendency of family groups in stores and other public places to spread out and block access for other shoppers or patrons. seen more often during the holiday shopping seasons, but can occur at any time. EFS can cause unsuspecting people to be forced hard against walls, merchandise displays, etc., or to have to detour around the family group to get at something of interest. similar to groups of aircraft, families often spread into various "vee" formations, echelons, and the dreaded "random EFS," past which nothing can pass, not even light.
this past christmas while shopping at a well-known discount department store, i was accosted by a family of four walking in a row across the aisle. as i was checking out items to purchase, the family came upon me, the dad saying "excuse us," as if i had anyplace else to go. i chose to stand my ground, causing the mom to glare at me and the family to pass me single-file. in this manner i prevented an outbreak of Expanding Family Syndrome.
by earpuller April 27, 2006
Get the Expanding Family Syndrome mug.pete: so why did you loan that douchebag $500? he already owes you $2500 for that car he bought from you!
clete: well, he promised if he hit it big at the casino, he'd give me double the money he owes me, so i figured "what the hell?"
pete: it's bad enough you buy this guy's bull shit, but ignoring his past is like giving a flashlight to a blind man. next time, just burn your spare cash.
clete: well, he promised if he hit it big at the casino, he'd give me double the money he owes me, so i figured "what the hell?"
pete: it's bad enough you buy this guy's bull shit, but ignoring his past is like giving a flashlight to a blind man. next time, just burn your spare cash.
by earpuller November 21, 2010
Get the like giving a flashlight to a blind man mug.a redundant phrase, since each word can mean the same thing. however, due to its rhyming scheme, it seems to be a more definitive way of saying someone or something lost.
beat-you lost the tennis match 6-4, 6-4, 6-3 to a very good opponent.
defeated-you lost your previous match 6-3, 6-2, 6-2 to an average player.
beat and defeated-your kid brother won a match against you 6-0, 6-0, 6-0 even though he had spent the last week sick in bed with the flu and he wasn't wearing his glasses. this, my friends, means you were beat 'n' defeated. soundly.
defeated-you lost your previous match 6-3, 6-2, 6-2 to an average player.
beat and defeated-your kid brother won a match against you 6-0, 6-0, 6-0 even though he had spent the last week sick in bed with the flu and he wasn't wearing his glasses. this, my friends, means you were beat 'n' defeated. soundly.
by earpuller November 6, 2007
Get the beat 'n' defeated mug.Ebonics/whitetrashian word meaning "shacked up with someone with whom I have brought a bastard child into the world but by referring to our selves as "engaged" I take the curse off the casual sexual relationship that produced an illegitimate child which will be disavowed by the father at the first sign of troule or commitment."
ex. 1-Laqueefa and Tyrone done shacked up, den da bitch get herself knocked up cos she dint use no berf control, but since tyrone dint have no job an his momma doan want him living with her no mo, so he still be living wif laqueefa until da judge order him to pay a sediment fo dat bastard chile, so dat means laqueefa and tyrone bein engaged.
ex. 2-wail, my babydaddy luther and ah done had us a little bundle of joy, but we ain't married er nuthin', we's jest engaged, even though luther ain't bought me no ring er nuthin', he's gotta buy a new motor fer his F-150. b'sides, we don't need no piece a paper to tell us we love each other, now do we?
ex. 2-wail, my babydaddy luther and ah done had us a little bundle of joy, but we ain't married er nuthin', we's jest engaged, even though luther ain't bought me no ring er nuthin', he's gotta buy a new motor fer his F-150. b'sides, we don't need no piece a paper to tell us we love each other, now do we?
by earpuller December 7, 2010
Get the engaged mug.1. one who engages in sexual activities on public transport, especially on trains in the chicagoland area.
2. one who gets all wet thinking about trains, especially commuter trains in chicago.
3. how a southern gentleman might pronounce "metrosexual."
2. one who gets all wet thinking about trains, especially commuter trains in chicago.
3. how a southern gentleman might pronounce "metrosexual."
1. hey guys, kelly blew me while we were riding home to fox lake on the train. maybe she'll fuck me if we ride the elgin line!!
2. ohmigod, i almost missed the 5:35 westbound to aurora.....wait, here it comes....ohhhh..... ooooooohhhh....... aaahhhhhhh. that was great.
3. son, what in hail do you mean, "ah'm a metrasexual, grampa?" does that mean yer one a those nancy boys from new york city?
2. ohmigod, i almost missed the 5:35 westbound to aurora.....wait, here it comes....ohhhh..... ooooooohhhh....... aaahhhhhhh. that was great.
3. son, what in hail do you mean, "ah'm a metrasexual, grampa?" does that mean yer one a those nancy boys from new york city?
by earpuller April 28, 2006
Get the metrasexual mug.noun: 1. a paper bag supplied by airlines in case of air sickness.
2. a person who seems about as attractive as such an item.
2. a person who seems about as attractive as such an item.
1. passenger on airplane-whew, I feel sick to my stomach! I've gotta use the barf bag..........(RALPH).........man, shoulda used dramamine.....(SPEW)................
2. upset citizen-hey, barf bag! Keep yer fucking dog off my lawn and turn down that god-damned radio!!! And get a haircut!!!
2. upset citizen-hey, barf bag! Keep yer fucking dog off my lawn and turn down that god-damned radio!!! And get a haircut!!!
by earpuller December 28, 2005
Get the barf bag mug.