earpuller's definitions

judge judy

verb-to be told off or schooled by an older woman; usually she's right, of course. Similar to this is judge joe brown, which is getting told off or schooled by an older man.

noun-to act like the TV judge; scolding, cranky, judgemental (I know judges should be judgemental, but she takes it too far). There is currently no noun form for judge joe brown, due to his less annoying style of juris prudence.

tommy: hey asshole! get off that car or you'll be judge judy'd by the principal!
timmy: hey asshole too! our principal is a dude!
tommy: in that case you'll get judge joe browned!!
tammy: hey assholes! why don't you both get the hell out of here? i'm sick of seeing you losers just hanging around and making noise and......(long rant here)....................!!!!
tommy: what a bitch!
timmy: no, she's a judge judy!!

by earpuller October 10, 2005

traffic clot

The tendency of slow-moving cars to converge and prevent faster cars from getting past. Much like a blood clot, the traffic clotcan cause serious trouble unless it is treated quickly. Even on a three- or four-lane freeway, a traffic clot can occur at any time, slowing down other motorists and leading to things like road rage.

ernie: sorry i'm late, buddy, but i was making great time on the tollway until i got caught behind a traffic clot.
bernie: oh man, those suck! how many old hyundais were there?
ernie: three, plus an old couple in an avalon, a civic with go-fast decals and a fart can exhaust, and five minivans.
bernie: they need a separate lane for traffic clots.
ernie: yeah, they could call it the "by-pass!!"

by earpuller July 29, 2008

engaged

Ebonics/whitetrashian word meaning "shacked up with someone with whom I have brought a bastard child into the world but by referring to our selves as "engaged" I take the curse off the casual sexual relationship that produced an illegitimate child which will be disavowed by the father at the first sign of troule or commitment."

ex. 1-Laqueefa and Tyrone done shacked up, den da bitch get herself knocked up cos she dint use no berf control, but since tyrone dint have no job an his momma doan want him living with her no mo, so he still be living wif laqueefa until da judge order him to pay a sediment fo dat bastard chile, so dat means laqueefa and tyrone bein engaged.

ex. 2-wail, my babydaddy luther and ah done had us a little bundle of joy, but we ain't married er nuthin', we's jest engaged, even though luther ain't bought me no ring er nuthin', he's gotta buy a new motor fer his F-150. b'sides, we don't need no piece a paper to tell us we love each other, now do we?

by earpuller December 7, 2010

field vasectomy

an informally performed surgery, usually without benefit of anasthesia, sterilization, or any kind of hygienic preparation. similar procedures include field castration, field lobotomy, field amputation, etc. in all cases the patient is someone deserving of rough treatment, and the surgeon is the person providing it.

harry: did you hear about cary? his girlfriend found out he was cheating on her, so she gave him a field vasectomy.
larry: ouch!! did she use any instruments?
harry: well, mostly she used her hands, feet, and knees. she did threaten to perform a field castration with a rusty spoon if she caught him cheating again.
larry: jeez, what a dumb fuck. he should have worn a cup.

by earpuller December 28, 2005

niglish

noun: another way of saying ebonics, ot the language of illiterate street scum who "keep it real." Niglish is often heard on "Judge Joe Brown," and parodied on "Chapelle's Show."
Niglish is also the favorite language of trailer trash whiteys and other wigger wannabes.

ike: hey spike, whattya like?
mike: what's goin on man? why're you dressed like fiddy-thent?
spike: whatup, dawgs, i's jes keepin' it real, fo shizzle. later me and mah homies gonna do somfin ghetto, aight?
ike: what the fuck did he say?
mike: i dunno, but sounds like niglish to me. Funny thing is, he graduated 1st in his class at prep school

by earpuller September 15, 2005

pantsie

noun: the victim of a pantsing. A pantsie is the guy you see at the mall or walking down the street wearing his pants low on the hips so you can see his skinny little ass, and also the fact that he wears bargain-basement boxers. You would create a pantsie by pulling down his pants. Usually a wannabe of some sort, as a pantsie must do something to show the world how great he wishes he were. BTW-why are pantsies only guys?

Imagine you're walking behind someone flashing his butt crack and his dirty shorts (change them once in a while, jag-off!) letting the world know he's secure in his surroundings, unafraid of being exposed for what he really is (an insecure loser). As a public service you decide to finish the job he started by lowering his pants to floor level, preferably while in the presence of the girl he really likes, or the kids who hate him. VOILA!! You have created a pantsie.

by earpuller September 27, 2005

neighbores

simply put, boring neighbors. people who think you really care about their lives when, in fact, you wish you could move somewhere far, far away just to get away from them.

lady next door:.....then she said.....just back from visiting my sister in Peoria.....couldn't find a thing in there.....new recipes for hamburger helper.....never buy a german car, my father always said.....(two hours later).....well, i can't stand here talking all day.....(another hour later).....wait, don't you want to see my niece's picture?
me: maybe some other time. i've got to go in now (escaping to the safety of my own apartment, i close and lock the door, and start looking through the rental ads-do they list apartments under "no neighbores allowed?)

by earpuller June 11, 2006