earpuller's definitions

pantser

noun: one who performs a pantsing on a pantsie. Sharing the pronunciation of the German word for "armor", the pantsie believes the pantser is, in fact, some kind of Nazi fascist scum. Actually, the pantser is a sort of public defender of taste, e.g. the pantser shows the absurdity of publicly displaying one's underwear by showing even more of the pantsie's skivvies. A pantser absolutely will NEVER pants a person whose pants are worn properly; this violates The Pantser Creed (definition to follow-or not).

ike: that guy needs to be pantsed!
mike: but who can do the deed?
ike: wait a minute-i could do it! all i need to do is pull down his pants and SHAZAM!! i am a pantser.
rene descarte (french philosopher and early prankster of some repute): i pants, therefore i am.

by earpuller September 27, 2005

cold diarrhea

the punch line of an insult used in northern New Jersey during the 60's and 70's. made no sense then, makes no sense now, but still kind of funny.

carly: man, you think you're hot shit in a wine glass, but you're just cold diarrhea in a paper cup.
farley: that's so funny i forgot to laugh!
charlie: you're both about as funny as a cigarette machine in a cancer ward.
carly and farley: huh?

by earpuller January 1, 2006

pantsing

pantsing is the act of letting the pantsie know that the showing of old, cheap, smelly underwear by wearing one's pants (bought at Big Lots or stolen from the laundromat) low on the hips offends a person or persons directly behind, to the point that the pantser feels a social and patriotic obligation to embarass the pantsie by pulling down the pants the rest of the way and letting the pantsie try to walk away without looking like a ruptured duck.

ike: check out that guy! his dad must be a plumber!
mike: holy shit! maybe he's unable to dress himself without his mommy's help!
ike: or maybe he can't undress himself.............should we give him a hand?
mike: sure! in fact, let's give him two hands!
*at this point the pantsing is performed on the victim*
ike: nice knees, loser! pull up your pants and get the hell away from here!
mike: isn't some village missing an idiot? maybe you should apply, you little pantsie!

by earpuller September 27, 2005

situational lesbian

a straight woman who uses the old "i'm a lesbian" line to put off an undesirable (at least in her eyes) guy who is hitting on her. actually, she wouldn't munch the carpet if her life depended on it, but she figures it's better to give a phony excuse to the bozo than to tell him the truth and have it turn out he's a heavily-armed psychopath.

ben: uh, hey jen, would you like to go to the movies with me tomorrow night?
jen: sorry, ben. i guess you didn't know i'm gay. but thanks anyway! (walks quickly ot the other side of the room.)
len: who was that creep? want me to smash his face in for you?
jen: no, he's okay. i just told him i'm a dike and his boner went all soft.
len: wow, you're a real situational lesbian, aren't you? wanna let me fuck your brains out? whoa, looks like i'm too late!

by earpuller November 23, 2010

emu

half of a comedy pair from the 70's, Rod Hull and Emu. Emu was actually a very large hand puppet; Rod's hand was the emu's head, and his "arm" was a fake, so it looked like he was carrying the large bird. Their routine was not too funny at first, until the emu began to respond to the bad jokes and puns Rod was saying. The emu would make strange faces, stick out his tongue, and mimic his handler, leading Rod to believe he was actually funny. Usually the act ended when the emu attacked Rod. This explanation will make no sense to people who haven't seen it (you young people) but those who came of age in the 70's and 80's Rod Hull and Emu rank with Monty Python and the original cast of Saturday Night Live.

I can't remember which shows they appeared on, but Rod Hull and Emu did all kinds of variety, skit comedy, and kids shows in the 70's.

by earpuller December 28, 2005

true dat

meaning 1: that is true. Replaces "word" or "word up" in urban slang.
meaning 2: how a Milwaukeean says "threw that."
meaning 3: an instruction given to a bike repairman concerning an out-of-alignment wheel.

1: ike: man, something smells bad in here!
mike: true dat! but he who smelled it ,dealt it.
2: Dat pile of trash? I true dat in da garbage yesterday, hey.
3: pat:my bike wheel is a little bent!
matt: yeah, we can true dat. it'll roll straight as an arrow.

by earpuller October 10, 2005

pantsie

noun: the victim of a pantsing. A pantsie is the guy you see at the mall or walking down the street wearing his pants low on the hips so you can see his skinny little ass, and also the fact that he wears bargain-basement boxers. You would create a pantsie by pulling down his pants. Usually a wannabe of some sort, as a pantsie must do something to show the world how great he wishes he were. BTW-why are pantsies only guys?

Imagine you're walking behind someone flashing his butt crack and his dirty shorts (change them once in a while, jag-off!) letting the world know he's secure in his surroundings, unafraid of being exposed for what he really is (an insecure loser). As a public service you decide to finish the job he started by lowering his pants to floor level, preferably while in the presence of the girl he really likes, or the kids who hate him. VOILA!! You have created a pantsie.

by earpuller September 27, 2005