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earpuller's definitions

oxnard

1. a small city in California.
2. the genitals of a large, clumsy, male bovine.
3. just another word you can call someone to insult him.
1. Oxnard is near Los Angeles, at least when compared to San Francisco.
2. check out that dude! he's hung like an oxnard.
3. dude, you scratched the paint on my '87 prelude! now i've got to spend the day at MAACO! you fuckin' oxnard!
by earpuller November 22, 2010
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the NASA scale

just like a NASA launch, counting down from 1 to 10 while watching the ladies. from a distance she looks hot (a 10,) but by the time she's right in front of you she turns out to be glass-shatteringly ugly (a 1.)
dan and stan are walking down main street when they see a woman at the other end of the block walking towards them-
dan: dude! check her out, she's a 10!!
stan: nah, maybe a nine.
dan: yeah, she's kind of fat. make her an 8.
stan: and her nose looks like an eggplant. 7.
dan: gross! she's got a huge booger, too! 6.
stan: and a better mustache than either of us. 5.
dan: look at her hat-she's got no hair! 4.
stan: except for her legs. 3.
dan: you could open a bottle of beer with the gap between her front teeth! 2.
stan: and she's cross-eyed to boot! 1.
both: ah, houston, we've got a problem-ABORT! ABORT!
dan: thank god for the NASA scale!
by earpuller November 22, 2010
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situational lesbian

a straight woman who uses the old "i'm a lesbian" line to put off an undesirable (at least in her eyes) guy who is hitting on her. actually, she wouldn't munch the carpet if her life depended on it, but she figures it's better to give a phony excuse to the bozo than to tell him the truth and have it turn out he's a heavily-armed psychopath.
ben: uh, hey jen, would you like to go to the movies with me tomorrow night?
jen: sorry, ben. i guess you didn't know i'm gay. but thanks anyway! (walks quickly ot the other side of the room.)
len: who was that creep? want me to smash his face in for you?
jen: no, he's okay. i just told him i'm a dike and his boner went all soft.
len: wow, you're a real situational lesbian, aren't you? wanna let me fuck your brains out? whoa, looks like i'm too late!
by earpuller November 23, 2010
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schrute

noun, a schrute is an annoying co-worker, one who specifically attaches himself to you, decides that you're best buddies, and procedes to make your work life unbearable. derived from Rainn Wilson's character Dwight Schrute from NBC's "The Office."
Sorry, I'd have had this report done sooner, but this schrute kept interrupting me with inane questions. that's why it took me three hours to finish a project that should have taken a half-hour.
by earpuller December 30, 2005
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cold diarrhea

the punch line of an insult used in northern New Jersey during the 60's and 70's. made no sense then, makes no sense now, but still kind of funny.
carly: man, you think you're hot shit in a wine glass, but you're just cold diarrhea in a paper cup.
farley: that's so funny i forgot to laugh!
charlie: you're both about as funny as a cigarette machine in a cancer ward.
carly and farley: huh?
by earpuller January 1, 2006
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great googly-moogly

interjection, similar to "great Caesar's ghost" and "jumpin' Jehosaphat," this nonsense phrase can be heard in the song "Goin' Down Slow" by Howlin Wolf, and in Frank Zappa's song "Don't Eat The Yellow Snow."
sure, anyone can shout "holy shit" or "jesus fucking christ." but it takes a person of rare insight and a sense of musical history to say "great googly-moogly" without sounding infantile.
by earpuller January 1, 2006
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UDitors

noun; Urban Dictionary editors. It can be pronounced like the word "editors," or with a short "u" sound, like "mud." UDitors are the arbiters of what goes in or stays out of this website. We come from all walks of life and from around the world. Our common bond is a commitment to documenting the changing vocabulary of today's world
The UDitors are trying to publish only worthy bits of slang, while also trying to remove slanderous and hurtful defs that snuck through in the past. Soon no one will have to read what kind of a bad person he or she is.
by earpuller January 19, 2006
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