Walmart

an acronym for the standard employee pool-
We're All Lazy Motherfuckers And Retired Truckers
-or-
We're All, Like, Minorities, Asians, Redneck Trash
-or-
Where A Luckless Moron Acquires Revolting Things
(maybe that's one def too many.)
.........rising from the site of the abandoned chemical plant, near the creek that has no life in it, a brand-spanking-new Walmart is soon to open in your area. Doesn't matter where you live, anywhere in the world-if Dubya doesn't get you, or his replacement (Dan Quayle, anyone?), Walmart will be there soon. Run away, but you will never escape................WALMART!!!!!!
by earpuller September 18, 2005
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naughty haiku

similar to naughty little rhymes (if this wasn't published, just follow along,) naughty haiku uses the classic japanese poem structure combined with good old American sex-obsession to create a new art form. The form of a haiku is always as follows-
first line=five syllables
second line=seven syllables
third line=five syllables
-so now just add some semi-pornographic, naughty, or just silly ideas, and voila! naughty haiku!
here some examples of naughty haiku-

her bosom heaving,
jiggling, as she runs away
from me, down the road.

sometimes i stare out
from my window, watching her
as she trims her bush.

gee, i didn't know
she was only fifteen, sir.
off to jail with me.

the couple wriggled
and writhed, moaning in passion;
then the tape ran out.
by earpuller July 16, 2006
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booger miner

a person with the disgusting habit of picking his or her nose while visible to the public. nothing subtle about the booger miner's approach-finger(s) inserted beyond the knuckle, accompanied by much digging around. gross? nauseating? you bet!! the verb form is booger mining.
while riding the bus to work the other day, gerry looked across the aisle at the most gorgeous woman he'd ever seen. astonishing face, magnificent hair, perfect figure, and long, slender legs. he tried to avoid staring at her, fearing he'd appear to be uncivilized and boorish, so he didn't notice that she'd inserted her left pinkie finger demurely into her nostril and began vigorously grinding away. finally he could no longer resist; he had to gaze upon her again. turning toward her, he quietly said "excuse me, i don't mean to be forward, but...." and just as he was about to ask her out, she turned toward him, smiling radiantly, and said "that's alright, go ahead." to his horror, gerry learned that this woman, the embodiment of all that is desirable about the opposite sex, was, in fact, a booger miner, for she had neglected to remove her finger from her nose before answering him. dizziness overcame him as he left the bus fourteen blocks from his office just to get away from the terrible thing he'd just witnessed.
by earpuller June 25, 2006
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Meryl Sheep

American film actress, known for her work in such films as "The French Lieutenant's Ewe," "Lambchop's Choice," "Fleecewood," "Sheep-Devil" (also starring Roseanne Baah,) and her current film, "The Wolf Wears Prada."
In her long and illustrious career, Meryl Sheep's only regret is not getting the role of Clarice Starling in "Silence of the Lambs."
by earpuller July 07, 2006
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Greenlighting

Among diecast car collectors, the term "Greenlighting" is rapidly catching on. It refers to activities related to the collecting of Greenlight diecast car models. Diehard fans join the "Under-The-Hood" club, a forum for zealous Greenlight enthusiasts which is very laid-back and a fun place for collectors of all types to just hang out and relax. Coined by a UTH member, falcongtho3, an active member of the club (there are over 1300 of us, and growing steadily.)
todd: so whatcha doin' tonight, dude?
rod: after work i'm going to the toy store to find some new models-everyone is releasing new diecasts in time for christmas.
todd: looking for anything in particular?
rod: Greenlights, of course! when i get home i'll log into the Under The Hood club to do some "Greenlighting."
todd: sounds cool! maybe i should check it out!
rod: no doubt!
by earpuller December 10, 2010
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loaded and corroded

1. Another over-long way of saying "drunk."
2. The term for when the baseball team you dislike has a man on each base (or "bases loaded.") Popular in the late sixties/early seventies in northern New Jersey; may have been used in other areas.
1. benny-"man, did you see that douchebag at the club last night? falling down drunk again! that boy was sure loaded."
denny-"yeah, and he got that way on zima!! that means he was loaded and corroded.!!"

2. When the Atlanta Braves or New York Yankees have a runner at each base, you can honestly say the bases are loaded and corroded.
by earpuller October 21, 2007
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Human Resources

If a company is a house, then Human Resources is the septic tank; all the shit goes there. Human Resources, better known as HR, is the lowest place in a corporation's hierarchy, although they make themselves important by gaining the ability to control who works and who doesn't. To be a success in HR one must lose all trace of humanity and become a robot (becoming a whore is also advisable.) To paraphrase Willie Nelson,"mommas, dont let your babies grow up to be HR drones, don't let 'em be robots or whores or sluts, make 'em be robbers or car thieves and such....."
when i was a child, i thought like a child, but when i grew up and started working in Human Resources, i knew i had lost my soul, and to appease my new gods i fired my best friend, my girlfriend, my brother, an Iraqi war veteran with a silver star and a distinguished service cross, and the guy who saved me from drowning when i was a kid. what a good day's work!!
by earpuller December 01, 2010
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