earpuller's definitions

great googly-moogly

interjection, similar to "great Caesar's ghost" and "jumpin' Jehosaphat," this nonsense phrase can be heard in the song "Goin' Down Slow" by Howlin Wolf, and in Frank Zappa's song "Don't Eat The Yellow Snow."

sure, anyone can shout "holy shit" or "jesus fucking christ." but it takes a person of rare insight and a sense of musical history to say "great googly-moogly" without sounding infantile.

by earpuller January 1, 2006

booger miner

a person with the disgusting habit of picking his or her nose while visible to the public. nothing subtle about the booger miner's approach-finger(s) inserted beyond the knuckle, accompanied by much digging around. gross? nauseating? you bet!! the verb form is booger mining.

while riding the bus to work the other day, gerry looked across the aisle at the most gorgeous woman he'd ever seen. astonishing face, magnificent hair, perfect figure, and long, slender legs. he tried to avoid staring at her, fearing he'd appear to be uncivilized and boorish, so he didn't notice that she'd inserted her left pinkie finger demurely into her nostril and began vigorously grinding away. finally he could no longer resist; he had to gaze upon her again. turning toward her, he quietly said "excuse me, i don't mean to be forward, but...." and just as he was about to ask her out, she turned toward him, smiling radiantly, and said "that's alright, go ahead." to his horror, gerry learned that this woman, the embodiment of all that is desirable about the opposite sex, was, in fact, a booger miner, for she had neglected to remove her finger from her nose before answering him. dizziness overcame him as he left the bus fourteen blocks from his office just to get away from the terrible thing he'd just witnessed.

by earpuller June 25, 2006

naughty haiku

similar to naughty little rhymes (if this wasn't published, just follow along,) naughty haiku uses the classic japanese poem structure combined with good old American sex-obsession to create a new art form. The form of a haiku is always as follows-
first line=five syllables
second line=seven syllables
third line=five syllables
-so now just add some semi-pornographic, naughty, or just silly ideas, and voila! naughty haiku!

here some examples of naughty haiku-

her bosom heaving,
jiggling, as she runs away
from me, down the road.

sometimes i stare out
from my window, watching her
as she trims her bush.

gee, i didn't know
she was only fifteen, sir.
off to jail with me.

the couple wriggled
and writhed, moaning in passion;
then the tape ran out.

by earpuller July 15, 2006

midget digit

noun: a very small penis. Often used as a general putdown for males who actually have normal or even large peckers.

ed: hey dude, i heard you need tweezers to jack off.
fred: yeah, that girl you tried to screw last week told all her friends she needed a magnifying glass just to see if you were hard!
ted: and so, you have been revealed as the possessor of a midget digit!!
ned: damn! oh well, good thing my tongue is as long as my arm!!

by earpuller October 1, 2005

dirty dining

performing oral sex on a woman.

Courtney Gerrish of WTMJ-TV Channel 4 in Milwaukee was the reporter on a story about "Dirty Dining." She's tall, thin, blonde........I'd like to do a little dirty dining with her...on my face!!

by earpuller July 13, 2006

FIB

noun: a way to refer to Illinoisans that would offend your grandma if you spelled it out for her. The grandma version of FIB is flat lander.

little timmy: Holy shit, Grandma!! Look at all the God-damned FIBS on the highway today!!
Grandma: timmy!! Where'd you learn to talk like that? Never refer to them as FIBs; it's offensive. Call those bastards "flatlanders."

by earpuller October 10, 2005

emu

half of a comedy pair from the 70's, Rod Hull and Emu. Emu was actually a very large hand puppet; Rod's hand was the emu's head, and his "arm" was a fake, so it looked like he was carrying the large bird. Their routine was not too funny at first, until the emu began to respond to the bad jokes and puns Rod was saying. The emu would make strange faces, stick out his tongue, and mimic his handler, leading Rod to believe he was actually funny. Usually the act ended when the emu attacked Rod. This explanation will make no sense to people who haven't seen it (you young people) but those who came of age in the 70's and 80's Rod Hull and Emu rank with Monty Python and the original cast of Saturday Night Live.

I can't remember which shows they appeared on, but Rod Hull and Emu did all kinds of variety, skit comedy, and kids shows in the 70's.

by earpuller December 28, 2005