earpuller's definitions
similar to naughty little rhymes (if this wasn't published, just follow along,) naughty haiku uses the classic japanese poem structure combined with good old American sex-obsession to create a new art form. The form of a haiku is always as follows-
first line=five syllables
second line=seven syllables
third line=five syllables
-so now just add some semi-pornographic, naughty, or just silly ideas, and voila! naughty haiku!
first line=five syllables
second line=seven syllables
third line=five syllables
-so now just add some semi-pornographic, naughty, or just silly ideas, and voila! naughty haiku!
here some examples of naughty haiku-
her bosom heaving,
jiggling, as she runs away
from me, down the road.
sometimes i stare out
from my window, watching her
as she trims her bush.
gee, i didn't know
she was only fifteen, sir.
off to jail with me.
the couple wriggled
and writhed, moaning in passion;
then the tape ran out.
her bosom heaving,
jiggling, as she runs away
from me, down the road.
sometimes i stare out
from my window, watching her
as she trims her bush.
gee, i didn't know
she was only fifteen, sir.
off to jail with me.
the couple wriggled
and writhed, moaning in passion;
then the tape ran out.
by earpuller July 15, 2006
Get the naughty haikumug. the annoying tendency of family groups in stores and other public places to spread out and block access for other shoppers or patrons. seen more often during the holiday shopping seasons, but can occur at any time. EFS can cause unsuspecting people to be forced hard against walls, merchandise displays, etc., or to have to detour around the family group to get at something of interest. similar to groups of aircraft, families often spread into various "vee" formations, echelons, and the dreaded "random EFS," past which nothing can pass, not even light.
this past christmas while shopping at a well-known discount department store, i was accosted by a family of four walking in a row across the aisle. as i was checking out items to purchase, the family came upon me, the dad saying "excuse us," as if i had anyplace else to go. i chose to stand my ground, causing the mom to glare at me and the family to pass me single-file. in this manner i prevented an outbreak of Expanding Family Syndrome.
by earpuller April 27, 2006
Get the Expanding Family Syndromemug. a rare phenomenon caused by the unrestricted spillage of guacamole dip. often caused by an exploding guacagrenade, the guacamole shower leaves everything in its path stained an avocado green, at least until the next rainstorm.
as lisa tried to pick up the serving bowl of guacamole dip, it slipped from her greasy hands and crashed to the table, strewing green stuff everywhere. "nice guacamole shower, lisa," tammi yelled, "i hope it rains soon, or at least before mom and dad get back from cancun."
by earpuller July 16, 2006
Get the guacamole showermug. a descriptive phrase for attempting any hopeless task. If you've ever tried to push water uphill you'll understand the concept.
literal-Part of my job involves clearing water from the floor of my work station. Because the floor is pitched away from the drain, it takes an inordinate amount of time to clear the water, because I'm always pushing it uphill.
figurative-Asking your boss for a raise in these times of tight money makes as much sense as pushing water uphill.
figurative-Asking your boss for a raise in these times of tight money makes as much sense as pushing water uphill.
by earpuller January 19, 2006
Get the pushing water uphillmug. noun: a very small penis. Often used as a general putdown for males who actually have normal or even large peckers.
ed: hey dude, i heard you need tweezers to jack off.
fred: yeah, that girl you tried to screw last week told all her friends she needed a magnifying glass just to see if you were hard!
ted: and so, you have been revealed as the possessor of a midget digit!!
ned: damn! oh well, good thing my tongue is as long as my arm!!
fred: yeah, that girl you tried to screw last week told all her friends she needed a magnifying glass just to see if you were hard!
ted: and so, you have been revealed as the possessor of a midget digit!!
ned: damn! oh well, good thing my tongue is as long as my arm!!
by earpuller October 1, 2005
Get the midget digitmug. Courtney Gerrish of WTMJ-TV Channel 4 in Milwaukee was the reporter on a story about "Dirty Dining." She's tall, thin, blonde........I'd like to do a little dirty dining with her...on my face!!
by earpuller July 13, 2006
Get the dirty diningmug. noun: the object of a chubby chaser's affection. Never refer to another person as a "chunky monkey" unless-
A. you know the person very well, so much so that said person would not be offended by being called one, or-
B. you can run very fast and will never see the person again.
A. you know the person very well, so much so that said person would not be offended by being called one, or-
B. you can run very fast and will never see the person again.
A. come on over later, my little chunky monkey!
B. baby, you are a chunky monkey. leave some food for the rest of the world!
B. baby, you are a chunky monkey. leave some food for the rest of the world!
by earpuller October 10, 2005
Get the chunky monkeymug.