a person with the disgusting habit of picking his or her nose while visible to the public. nothing subtle about the booger miner's approach-finger(s) inserted beyond the knuckle, accompanied by much digging around. gross? nauseating? you bet!! the verb form is booger mining.
while riding the bus to work the other day, gerry looked across the aisle at the most gorgeous woman he'd ever seen. astonishing face, magnificent hair, perfect figure, and long, slender legs. he tried to avoid staring at her, fearing he'd appear to be uncivilized and boorish, so he didn't notice that she'd inserted her left pinkie finger demurely into her nostril and began vigorously grinding away. finally he could no longer resist; he had to gaze upon her again. turning toward her, he quietly said "excuse me, i don't mean to be forward, but...." and just as he was about to ask her out, she turned toward him, smiling radiantly, and said "that's alright, go ahead." to his horror, gerry learned that this woman, the embodiment of all that is desirable about the opposite sex, was, in fact, a booger miner, for she had neglected to remove her finger from her nose before answering him. dizziness overcame him as he left the bus fourteen blocks from his office just to get away from the terrible thing he'd just witnessed.
by earpuller June 25, 2006
American film actress, known for her work in such films as "The French Lieutenant's Ewe," "Lambchop's Choice," "Fleecewood," "Sheep-Devil" (also starring Roseanne Baah,) and her current film, "The Wolf Wears Prada."
In her long and illustrious career, Meryl Sheep's only regret is not getting the role of Clarice Starling in "Silence of the Lambs."
by earpuller July 07, 2006
similar to naughty little rhymes (if this wasn't published, just follow along,) naughty haiku uses the classic japanese poem structure combined with good old American sex-obsession to create a new art form. The form of a haiku is always as follows-
first line=five syllables
second line=seven syllables
third line=five syllables
-so now just add some semi-pornographic, naughty, or just silly ideas, and voila! naughty haiku!
first line=five syllables
second line=seven syllables
third line=five syllables
-so now just add some semi-pornographic, naughty, or just silly ideas, and voila! naughty haiku!
here some examples of naughty haiku-
her bosom heaving,
jiggling, as she runs away
from me, down the road.
sometimes i stare out
from my window, watching her
as she trims her bush.
gee, i didn't know
she was only fifteen, sir.
off to jail with me.
the couple wriggled
and writhed, moaning in passion;
then the tape ran out.
her bosom heaving,
jiggling, as she runs away
from me, down the road.
sometimes i stare out
from my window, watching her
as she trims her bush.
gee, i didn't know
she was only fifteen, sir.
off to jail with me.
the couple wriggled
and writhed, moaning in passion;
then the tape ran out.
by earpuller July 16, 2006
the act of allowing an automobile to approach the car ahead because the driver has set his cruise control but is not paying attention to traffic conditions. the noun form of the phrase is "cruise control creeper."
while driving down a two-lane country road, i noticed in my rear view mirror a large foreign sedan approaching my car from behind. his speed was almost the same as mine, just a little quicker, so his approach was pretty slow. still, he kept on getting closer, until i could no longer see his front bumper. suddenly, just as i thought he was going to ram me, he swerved left and passed me at a rapid pace, glaring at me as he passed. he left me behind at the same slow rate as he approached me. i figured he was cruise control creeping, because he was gabbing on a cell phone. to avoid becoming a cruise control creeper myself, i reset my own cruise control and let the other car go about his merry way. after i flipped him off.
by earpuller October 21, 2007
1. Another over-long way of saying "drunk."
2. The term for when the baseball team you dislike has a man on each base (or "bases loaded.") Popular in the late sixties/early seventies in northern New Jersey; may have been used in other areas.
2. The term for when the baseball team you dislike has a man on each base (or "bases loaded.") Popular in the late sixties/early seventies in northern New Jersey; may have been used in other areas.
1. benny-"man, did you see that douchebag at the club last night? falling down drunk again! that boy was sure loaded."
denny-"yeah, and he got that way on zima!! that means he was loaded and corroded.!!"
2. When the Atlanta Braves or New York Yankees have a runner at each base, you can honestly say the bases are loaded and corroded.
denny-"yeah, and he got that way on zima!! that means he was loaded and corroded.!!"
2. When the Atlanta Braves or New York Yankees have a runner at each base, you can honestly say the bases are loaded and corroded.
by earpuller October 21, 2007
If a company is a house, then Human Resources is the septic tank; all the shit goes there. Human Resources, better known as HR, is the lowest place in a corporation's hierarchy, although they make themselves important by gaining the ability to control who works and who doesn't. To be a success in HR one must lose all trace of humanity and become a robot (becoming a whore is also advisable.) To paraphrase Willie Nelson,"mommas, dont let your babies grow up to be HR drones, don't let 'em be robots or whores or sluts, make 'em be robbers or car thieves and such....."
when i was a child, i thought like a child, but when i grew up and started working in Human Resources, i knew i had lost my soul, and to appease my new gods i fired my best friend, my girlfriend, my brother, an Iraqi war veteran with a silver star and a distinguished service cross, and the guy who saved me from drowning when i was a kid. what a good day's work!!
by earpuller December 01, 2010
a rare phenomenon caused by the unrestricted spillage of guacamole dip. often caused by an exploding guacagrenade, the guacamole shower leaves everything in its path stained an avocado green, at least until the next rainstorm.
as lisa tried to pick up the serving bowl of guacamole dip, it slipped from her greasy hands and crashed to the table, strewing green stuff everywhere. "nice guacamole shower, lisa," tammi yelled, "i hope it rains soon, or at least before mom and dad get back from cancun."
by earpuller July 17, 2006