dr. heywood r. floyd's definitions
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 20, 2007
Get the price of eggs in China mug. when you get an email from someone in Nigeria, who pretends to have been involved in some sort of coup de etat or related to some bigwig or something and says he's got the loot and needs a place to hide it, like your bank account and then they butter you up saying they got your name because you are known to be honest or some shit. They talk all weird and foreign and misspell stuff, to make you think that THEY are the gullible one.
They offer you a couple of million to store the ten million or so and then when you bite, they try to get your bank account info so they can steal your identity. If you are stupid enough, they'll have you writing them checks (or "advance fees") and they'll just keep stringing you along saying something went wrong and send more money.
Worst case scenario: they get you to fly over there. Never do that. Once you are in their clutches, you're, well, in their clutches.
They offer you a couple of million to store the ten million or so and then when you bite, they try to get your bank account info so they can steal your identity. If you are stupid enough, they'll have you writing them checks (or "advance fees") and they'll just keep stringing you along saying something went wrong and send more money.
Worst case scenario: they get you to fly over there. Never do that. Once you are in their clutches, you're, well, in their clutches.
Nigerian scam letter:
Dear Sir:
First I must solicit your confidence in this transaction. This is by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential and top secret. We are top officials of the Federal Government Contract Review Panel who are interested in importation of goods into our country with funds which are presently trapped in Nigeria. In order to commence this business we solicit your assistance to enable us RECIEVE the said trapped funds ABROAD.
The source of this fund is as follows : During the regime of our late head of state, Gen. Sani Abacha, the government officials set up companies and awarded themselves contracts which were grossly over-invoiced in various Ministries. The NEW CIVILIAN Government set up a Contract Review Panel (C.R.P) and we have identified a lot of inflated contract funds which are presently floating in the Central Bank of Nigeria (C.B.N).
However, due to our position as civil servants and members of this panel, we cannot acquire this money in our names. I have therefore, been delegated as a matter of trust by my colleagues of the panel to look for an Overseas partner INTO whose ACCOUNT the sum of US$31,000,000.00 (Thirty one Million United States Dollars) WILL BE PAID BY TELEGRAPHIC TRANSFER. Hence we are writing you this letter.We have agreed to share the money thus:
70% for us (the officials)
20% for the FOREIGN PARTNER (you)
10% to be used in settling taxation and all local and foreign expenses.
A SUITABLE NAME AND BANK ACCOUNT INTO WHICH THE FUNDS CAN BE PAID. PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO RESPOND BY TELEPHONE OR FAX.
Dear Sir:
First I must solicit your confidence in this transaction. This is by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential and top secret. We are top officials of the Federal Government Contract Review Panel who are interested in importation of goods into our country with funds which are presently trapped in Nigeria. In order to commence this business we solicit your assistance to enable us RECIEVE the said trapped funds ABROAD.
The source of this fund is as follows : During the regime of our late head of state, Gen. Sani Abacha, the government officials set up companies and awarded themselves contracts which were grossly over-invoiced in various Ministries. The NEW CIVILIAN Government set up a Contract Review Panel (C.R.P) and we have identified a lot of inflated contract funds which are presently floating in the Central Bank of Nigeria (C.B.N).
However, due to our position as civil servants and members of this panel, we cannot acquire this money in our names. I have therefore, been delegated as a matter of trust by my colleagues of the panel to look for an Overseas partner INTO whose ACCOUNT the sum of US$31,000,000.00 (Thirty one Million United States Dollars) WILL BE PAID BY TELEGRAPHIC TRANSFER. Hence we are writing you this letter.We have agreed to share the money thus:
70% for us (the officials)
20% for the FOREIGN PARTNER (you)
10% to be used in settling taxation and all local and foreign expenses.
A SUITABLE NAME AND BANK ACCOUNT INTO WHICH THE FUNDS CAN BE PAID. PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO RESPOND BY TELEPHONE OR FAX.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 12, 2007
Get the nigerian scammug. 1) one of the triplets who came up from hell to do Azrael's bidding in "Dogma." When they were alive, they were baby-killers. That's why they were in hell.
2) anything having to do with hell.
2) anything having to do with hell.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 26, 2008
Get the stygianmug. 1) a self-replicating computer program
2) a former bookworm who read books all the time, till he got the interweb, and now spends all of his time surfing.
2) a former bookworm who read books all the time, till he got the interweb, and now spends all of his time surfing.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 5, 2007
Get the computer wormmug. by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 13, 2007
Get the shouty-crackersmug. The 2008 presidential candidate with the biggest balls. Man, that guy has balls the size of his homestate (Alaska).
He has said stuff like, that the "war was lost the day that George Bush invaded Iraq on a fraudulent basis." He doesn't have his finger to the wind. He just tells the damn truth. He's like the little boy in the Emperor's New Clothes.
Gravel has a campaign video (you can find it on the internet) where he just stares into the camera for a good two minutes and then picks up a rock and throws it in a pond and just walks off.
Balls, I tell you!
He has said stuff like, that the "war was lost the day that George Bush invaded Iraq on a fraudulent basis." He doesn't have his finger to the wind. He just tells the damn truth. He's like the little boy in the Emperor's New Clothes.
Gravel has a campaign video (you can find it on the internet) where he just stares into the camera for a good two minutes and then picks up a rock and throws it in a pond and just walks off.
Balls, I tell you!
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd July 28, 2007
Get the Mike Gravelmug. He was the chairman of the National Council of Astronautics in 2001. He tracked down the monolith buried on the moon and touched it, whereupon it transmitted a signal to Jupiter.
Dr. Heywood R. Floyd: Good day, gentlemen. When you see this briefing, I presume you will be nearing your destination, Saturn. I hope that you've had a pleasant and uneventful trip and that the rest of your mission continues in the same manner. I should like to fill you in on some more of the details on which Mission Commander Kaminsky will have already briefed you. Thirteen months before the launch date of your Saturn mission, on April 12th, 2001, the first evidence for intelligent life outside the Earth was discovered.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 7, 2007
Get the Dr. Heywood R. Floydmug.