desPERRYado's definitions
A young male who will give up countless hours of his time listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends because they need someone to talk to about their apathetic, Baywatch jock of a boyfriend because no one else will listen or genuinely care. Although always surrounded by beautiful girls the nice guy can’t get a girlfriend or even facilitate the alleviation of certain “drives” because his “ordinary” physical appearance will forever be compared to the Baywatch beach bum’s. The nice guy would never capitalize on a vulnerable girl, objectify or cheat on a girl, he will go out of his way and bend over backwards to help his “friends” and will never ask for anything in return but no matter how intelligent, understanding, humorous, compassionate, trusting or loyal the nice guy is the female cohort will always pass him up and endure any length of abuse, objectification, apathy and cold-heartedness from a man if he has physical attractiveness, fashion, big muscles and chiseled facial features.
The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all one-sided. This coupled with years of watching girls go for tanned, muscular jerk-offs with nice cars while he desperately hopes someone will realize that how viable he actually is will spawn and incubate the nice guy’s insecurities and he will eventually abandon his views, dumb-down his speech, take-up weight-lifting and switch majors from cancer research with a minor in theoretical physics to playground management so he can devote his time to emulating Baywatch characters and football players so that he will one day be viewed as more than a “nice guy.”
The nice guy will eventually work up the courage to ask out his attractive female friend but will invariably be turned down because she’s so self-centered that she’d never actually had a smidgeon of compassion for the nice guy’s feelings or even realized that he’s interested in girls. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will downplay the supposed friendship to the point where they never speak again, which in turn will make the nice guy depressed (ironically, he won’t have anyone to talk to) because he’s devoted so much time and energy and has become so warped from being exposed to these kinds of people that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like shit.
The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that people primarily care about physical appearances and that shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty.”
The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all one-sided. This coupled with years of watching girls go for tanned, muscular jerk-offs with nice cars while he desperately hopes someone will realize that how viable he actually is will spawn and incubate the nice guy’s insecurities and he will eventually abandon his views, dumb-down his speech, take-up weight-lifting and switch majors from cancer research with a minor in theoretical physics to playground management so he can devote his time to emulating Baywatch characters and football players so that he will one day be viewed as more than a “nice guy.”
The nice guy will eventually work up the courage to ask out his attractive female friend but will invariably be turned down because she’s so self-centered that she’d never actually had a smidgeon of compassion for the nice guy’s feelings or even realized that he’s interested in girls. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will downplay the supposed friendship to the point where they never speak again, which in turn will make the nice guy depressed (ironically, he won’t have anyone to talk to) because he’s devoted so much time and energy and has become so warped from being exposed to these kinds of people that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like shit.
The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that people primarily care about physical appearances and that shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty.”
"Jeez Patrick, I hope I can find a nice guy like you someday."
"Well, if you need me I'll be at home, crying myself to sleep while masturbating to the sound of my 70-year-old neighbors having sex...I might also play some ps2."
"Well, if you need me I'll be at home, crying myself to sleep while masturbating to the sound of my 70-year-old neighbors having sex...I might also play some ps2."
by desperryado October 3, 2005
Get the nice guy mug."I had a lot of angst and angry when I published those definitions of teen parent, religion and nice guy, and now I feel bad because I can't delete any of them."
by desPERRYado January 1, 2007
Get the angst mug.by DesPERRYado October 16, 2005
Get the h2obliterator mug.The collaboration of two or more people on a project or situation, which the outcome would be better than if the two people had worked independently of each other. Basically just a buzz word for team work
Man with Ladder: Man I'm hungry
Man with Tree: I can't reach those apples, if only I had a ladder...
Man with Ladder: Hey, let's work together.
Gee Wilbur, this synergy is great.
Man with Tree: I can't reach those apples, if only I had a ladder...
Man with Ladder: Hey, let's work together.
Gee Wilbur, this synergy is great.
by DesPERRYado November 2, 2004
Get the Synergy mug.In driving: The act of activating a turn signal, but turning the opposite direction of said turn signal to throw-off pursuers.
by desPERRYado April 29, 2006
Get the the old 1-2 switcheroo mug.A person with excellent fighting skills, excellent showmanship or other awesome character traits.
A verb used to describe someone getting attacked in a entertaining or awesome manner.
A verb used to describe someone getting attacked in a entertaining or awesome manner.
1. You should see Morgannus fight, he is a tengu.
2. Man Jimmy, you really tengu'd him good when you bashed him in the face with a rock.
2. Man Jimmy, you really tengu'd him good when you bashed him in the face with a rock.
by DesPERRYado November 1, 2004
Get the Tengu mug.1)
Wraslin' move created by Jake "The Snake" Roberts. Short for 'Damien's Dinner Time.'
2)A harmful crop chemical.
Wraslin' move created by Jake "The Snake" Roberts. Short for 'Damien's Dinner Time.'
2)A harmful crop chemical.
by DesPERRYado April 11, 2005
Get the DDT mug.