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hat in the ring

Get in on a huge blowout family argument
Roger: Boy, that sure was uncomfortable at the holiday gathering yesterday.

Harvey: Not sure what you mean ?

Roger: Lots of conversations and perceived slights henceforth to cry and whine about.

Harvey: Sorry, I had to take a leak every time I heard one start, or get more food.

Roger: Good move. You don't have to throw your hat in the ring then.
Harvey: I block numbers after these get together's for a while. It's great.
by cut the cards March 12, 2023
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Lume ass

That new deodorant for the little lady.
Rhonda: Feeling good tonight after riding the ATV all day in 90 weather.

Phil: What you sayin ?

Rhonda: Feelin frisky.

Phil: I'm sure you will just put on some of that Lume again.
Rhonda: Are you saying I have Lume ass ?
by cut the cards January 13, 2023
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chirp

The wife chirping in your ear all day and night.
Wife: You are going golfing, etc. ?

Hubby: Yes do you approve dear?

Wife: NO. Stay home with me and watch Hallmark channel.

Hubby: See ya I'm going.

Wife: No day drinking otherwise you can forget about you know what later tonight.

Hubby: No problem chirp.
by cut the cards December 31, 2022
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convertible

That one guy with a toupee everyone knows is a toupee but thinks no one else knows
Roger: Man, we sure had a good time at the club.

Harvey: Yes. Did you see the convertible ?

Roger: Yes. He didn't think I saw him take out the garbage in the morning with it all the way removed.
by cut the cards March 8, 2023
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slackerdrive

Drive your man all around town and pay for the car, gas, insurance, etc. especially when out of henny and weed.
Julie: Where to next baby ?

De'Vontleroy: I tolds you !
Julie: Sorry. Want to swing through Popeyes or KFC too as I slackerdrive ?
by cut the cards December 27, 2022
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reeking around the Christmas tree

Relatives that wear old reeking sweaters that smell like cigarettes.
Mabel: How do you like my vintage Christmas sweater I have not washed for decades ?

Junior: It's nice.

Mabel: I am taking a smoke break I will be right back. We will be reeking around the Christmas tree soon.
Junior: Thanks for the warning.
by cut the cards December 19, 2022
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parachute

Mike: That gal you picked up last night just left when you were in the shower.
Harvey: Thanks.

Mike: You sure can pick em. She was a big gal.

Harvey: I know, when I woke up out of my stupor I saw her underwear on the floor. I thought I left my window open and a parachute landed through the window. Never again, man.
by cut the cards January 25, 2023
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