cut the cards's definitions
Virgil: I ate too much chickpea noodle spaghetti and paid the price.
Cletus: How so ?
Virgil: I took a shit and it curled around in the toilet bowl. It looked like a bologna ring.
Cletus: Ew.
Virgil : It just spun round and round in there leaving skid marks but never went to it's home so I left it.
Cletus : What about the next man up ?
Virgil: While I was getting my gas station hot dog, Takis and fountain drink I heard the cashier call for cleanup near aisle 7. I think the toilet overflowed and it slithered it's way out onto the floor. I saw the junior gas station attendant heading towards the area with a mop and a snow shovel for scraping that bad boy off the floor. All in a days work I guess.
Cletus: How so ?
Virgil: I took a shit and it curled around in the toilet bowl. It looked like a bologna ring.
Cletus: Ew.
Virgil : It just spun round and round in there leaving skid marks but never went to it's home so I left it.
Cletus : What about the next man up ?
Virgil: While I was getting my gas station hot dog, Takis and fountain drink I heard the cashier call for cleanup near aisle 7. I think the toilet overflowed and it slithered it's way out onto the floor. I saw the junior gas station attendant heading towards the area with a mop and a snow shovel for scraping that bad boy off the floor. All in a days work I guess.
by cut the cards March 12, 2026
Get the Bologna ring mug.Aziz: That is a very nice burka you have on today.
Omar: Why thank you. No matter how nice it looks it still reeks underneath it.
Aziz: I believe you. I caught a waft as you passed by. I can't imagine a full on assault of said odor.
Omar: Sit down ! Stop telling lies ! I've had enough of this nonsense. It was not I who crapped in the hallway ! It was Rashida !
Aziz: The nose knows, Mrs. Omar. You are packing a triple threat to the olfactory senses under there. Eau de burka.
Omar: Why thank you. No matter how nice it looks it still reeks underneath it.
Aziz: I believe you. I caught a waft as you passed by. I can't imagine a full on assault of said odor.
Omar: Sit down ! Stop telling lies ! I've had enough of this nonsense. It was not I who crapped in the hallway ! It was Rashida !
Aziz: The nose knows, Mrs. Omar. You are packing a triple threat to the olfactory senses under there. Eau de burka.
by cut the cards March 3, 2026
Get the eau de burka mug.Andre: Man what a relief has was to leave that narcotic nightstick in the toilet the nurse had to check before they would discharge me from the hospital today.
Vince: Yeah those are the worst.
Andre: That thing stood straight up above the toilet bowl. Looked like a billy club. Last I heard on my way to freedom was the nurses aide cussing as she tried to plunge it down. There was some talk about whether they would have to cut it in half to get it to go down.
Vince: Yeah those are the worst.
Andre: That thing stood straight up above the toilet bowl. Looked like a billy club. Last I heard on my way to freedom was the nurses aide cussing as she tried to plunge it down. There was some talk about whether they would have to cut it in half to get it to go down.
by cut the cards March 2, 2026
Get the Narcotic nightstick mug.Al: Man does your car stink.
Zach: Yeah I know. I gave Carl from accounting ride to work this morning, he said he was running late so had to skip the shower.
Al: Smells like a case of the revenge of the heated seat.
Zach: Next time I am telling him to get his rank ass on the bus.
Zach: Yeah I know. I gave Carl from accounting ride to work this morning, he said he was running late so had to skip the shower.
Al: Smells like a case of the revenge of the heated seat.
Zach: Next time I am telling him to get his rank ass on the bus.
by cut the cards February 26, 2026
Get the Revenge of the heated seat mug.Andre: Man, I sure got sweaty hiking this trail in 90 degree weather. I need to stop off at the brook and scrub off the devil's moustache. I have not showered for days on this camping trip.
Brock: Make it snappy, we need to make camp yonder before the sun sets.
Andre: Sure thing. I will use my underwear to scrub off what I can and go commando the rest of the way.
Brock: Don't forget to use your hand sanitizer before you make our sandwiches.
Brock: Make it snappy, we need to make camp yonder before the sun sets.
Andre: Sure thing. I will use my underwear to scrub off what I can and go commando the rest of the way.
Brock: Don't forget to use your hand sanitizer before you make our sandwiches.
by cut the cards February 23, 2026
Get the the devil's moustache mug.Al: I picked up a nice one at the senior singles get together last night.
Bill: Good for you. How did everything turn out ?
Al: Great. We had a couple of drinks, one thing led to another and she showed me her chore girl.
Bill: Good for you. How did everything turn out ?
Al: Great. We had a couple of drinks, one thing led to another and she showed me her chore girl.
by cut the cards February 11, 2026
Get the Chore girl mug.Larry: What did you do all day while I was at work ?
Julie: Worked in the yard even though it was 90 degrees out. How about a little lovin now that you are home?
Larry: I will pass. I'm sure you worked up a bad batch in that heat.
Julie: Worked in the yard even though it was 90 degrees out. How about a little lovin now that you are home?
Larry: I will pass. I'm sure you worked up a bad batch in that heat.
by cut the cards February 6, 2026
Get the Bad batch mug.