cut the cards's definitions

mop up

To have to rewipe one's ass a few hours after a shit.

Mike: I need to go mop up it's so hot in this warehouse riding this forklift around.

Boss: Make it fast, we don't have all day.

by cut the cards August 8, 2022

take your breath away

A chick with really bad breath that is beautiful.

Roger: See that gal across the room ?

Harvey: Yes, she takes my breath away.

Roger: You got that right. She will take your breath away. I hired her to peel wallpaper in my bathroom with it.

by cut the cards February 23, 2023

chirp

The wife chirping in your ear all day and night.

Wife: You are going golfing, etc. ?

Hubby: Yes do you approve dear?

Wife: NO. Stay home with me and watch Hallmark channel.

Hubby: See ya I'm going.

Wife: No day drinking otherwise you can forget about you know what later tonight.

Hubby: No problem chirp.

by cut the cards December 31, 2022

convertible

That one guy with a toupee everyone knows is a toupee but thinks no one else knows

Roger: Man, we sure had a good time at the club.

Harvey: Yes. Did you see the convertible ?

Roger: Yes. He didn't think I saw him take out the garbage in the morning with it all the way removed.

by cut the cards March 8, 2023

parachute

Huge white bloomers

Mike: That gal you picked up last night just left when you were in the shower.
Harvey: Thanks.

Mike: You sure can pick em. She was a big gal.

Harvey: I know, when I woke up out of my stupor I saw her underwear on the floor. I thought I left my window open and a parachute landed through the window. Never again, man.

by cut the cards January 25, 2023

reeking around the Christmas tree

Relatives that wear old reeking sweaters that smell like cigarettes.

Mabel: How do you like my vintage Christmas sweater I have not washed for decades ?

Junior: It's nice.

Mabel: I am taking a smoke break I will be right back. We will be reeking around the Christmas tree soon.
Junior: Thanks for the warning.

by cut the cards December 19, 2022

silver stinker

Someone you met at silver sneakers workout class.

Roger: I went to the spin class at silver sneakers.

Carl: How was it ?

Roger: I met this nice looking older woman.

Carl: How did that go ?

Roger: She turned out to be a silver stinker once we went to her place.

by cut the cards January 7, 2023