cut the cards's definitions

chirp

The wife chirping in your ear all day and night.

Wife: You are going golfing, etc. ?

Hubby: Yes do you approve dear?

Wife: NO. Stay home with me and watch Hallmark channel.

Hubby: See ya I'm going.

Wife: No day drinking otherwise you can forget about you know what later tonight.

Hubby: No problem chirp.

by cut the cards December 31, 2022

convertible

That one guy with a toupee everyone knows is a toupee but thinks no one else knows

Roger: Man, we sure had a good time at the club.

Harvey: Yes. Did you see the convertible ?

Roger: Yes. He didn't think I saw him take out the garbage in the morning with it all the way removed.

by cut the cards March 8, 2023

take your breath away

A chick with really bad breath that is beautiful.

Roger: See that gal across the room ?

Harvey: Yes, she takes my breath away.

Roger: You got that right. She will take your breath away. I hired her to peel wallpaper in my bathroom with it.

by cut the cards February 23, 2023

mop up

To have to rewipe one's ass a few hours after a shit.

Mike: I need to go mop up it's so hot in this warehouse riding this forklift around.

Boss: Make it fast, we don't have all day.

by cut the cards August 8, 2022

bend for a friend

after breakup sex

Beth: I will always love you, but I think it's best we break up. We can still be friends though.

Roger: OK I guess. It's you, not me. Would you still bend for a friend here and there ?

by cut the cards November 24, 2022

you know who

a shady character

Larry: I am heading back home, I will be cool.

Harvey: Well, watch out for you know who as you walk through that neighborhood on your way home.

by cut the cards September 5, 2022

slackerdrive

Drive your man all around town and pay for the car, gas, insurance, etc. especially when out of henny and weed.

Julie: Where to next baby ?

De'Vontleroy: I tolds you !
Julie: Sorry. Want to swing through Popeyes or KFC too as I slackerdrive ?

by cut the cards December 27, 2022