ctrlU's definitions

velocipedophile

a person who is sexually attracted to bicycles.

In July of 2013 the Swedish police were looking for a man who had been having sex with parked bicycles. This velocipedophile had been filmed in the act by the owner of one of the defiled bikes.

by ctrlU September 23, 2013

Swedish holiday

masturbating in public

Police Officer: What are you doing, sir?
Perv: I'm on a Swedish holiday.
Police Officer: Yeah, this isn't Sweden. I'm arresting you.

by ctrlU September 19, 2013

R2D2

abbrev.: "Ready To Drop Two"

meaning: pregnant and carrying twins

Bill: Hey have you seen Kate lately? She's HUGE!
Rob: I know man, she's R2D2.

by ctrlU December 10, 2012

Chunkle Fever

a skinny person's new-found preference after discovering the mind-blowing superiority of plus-sized sex partners.

Al: That girl is so hot, is that fat guy her brother?
Bob: Nah, that's her boyfriend, she's got Chunkle Fever

or

Richard: Check the giant booty on that one!
Wayne: Aw yeah...
Richard: Bro, you got Chunkle Fever

by ctrlU November 7, 2012

scumpipe

n. a hotdog, usually sold by a street vendor

I was so drunk last night I had a scumpipe after the show and now I feel awful.

by ctrlU August 14, 2012

Chinese Rerun

n. The result of combining all the containers of different leftovers from a big Chinese take-out order into one pan and re-heating.

Usually results in a very tasty but unidentifiable mystery dish.

Can also be applied to Thai food (i.e. Thai Rerun)

You: What's for dinner?
Me: Chinese Rerun
You: Mmmmmm!

by ctrlU January 24, 2012

t'whittle

v. to edit a finished Tweet or SMS text message with the goal of reducing the content to 140 characters or less.

cont.: "text" and "whittle".

1. Conversational:

Bill: Are you still sending that text message? What's taking so long?
Sam: I have to t'whittle it.

2. The message:

Good Morning! I saw you last night but didn't get a chance to say "Hi!" I hope your trip was successful and that you'll be joining us this Saturday at Phil and Jenny's place after the kids finish their rehearsal.

is t'whittled to become:

G'morning! Saw you last night from afar, hope your trip was good. We're @ Phil and Jenny's this Sat. after rehearsal, you?

by ctrlU November 11, 2011