carl willis's definitions

different

adj. Euphemism applying to persons who have a handicap, particularly a behavioral or mental inadequacy. Can be found in the phrase "differently abled," which means (let's face it), "disabled." To be "different" in the most widely-used sense of the term is a bad thing; it means you are retarded. Cf. special, short bus.

Kid: Bobby is incredibly stupid and clumsy, Mr. Mackey.

School Counselor: Son, let's not think those bad thoughts! Bobby is...different. He's just a little "differently abled" from you or I, m'kay? We can't use our language to take water out of his bucket.

Kid: You mean to say he is retarded and rides the short bus.

Counselor: Now, "retarded" is a word that they used back in Germany in the 1930's, but we have moved past that now haven't we...

by Carl Willis August 25, 2004

Chicago Typewriter

n. A Thompson submachine gun, as used by Prohibition-era gangsters. So-named because the sound of a Tommy being fired in the distance resembled the sound of typing on a typewriter, and because the weapon was in popular use throughout south-side Chicago in Al Capone's day.

Vinnie always wrote his enemies on a Chicago typewriter.

by Carl Willis August 25, 2004

the white stuff

n. (1) Cocaine, particularly the fine powder of higher purity that is preferred for snorting by the wealthy. However, it CAN sometimes refer to crack rock in the ghetto.

(2) The mixture of partially hydrogenated, synthetic, spun fats and corn sweeteners that constitutes the standard filling in an Oreo cookie.

Her friends always knew that Courtney Love had a predilection for the white stuff.



Cop: Do you have anything on you that I need to know about?

Demetrius: Naw man, we doin' it all proper this time...NAW, whatchu wanna look in there for, man...SHIT that ain'tcho bidness man...

Cop: What's this? (pulls out a sack of crack rocks.)

Demetrius: (Sigh) That's the white stuff, just a little. I'm sorry officah. I ain't never gonna...

Cop: Looks more yellow that white. Did you cook this up, Demetrius? Be honest with me now.

Demetrius: Yessah. Mostly bakin' soda an' some chalk an' some Rat-B-Gone. I'm really sorry officah. I ain't ever gonna...

Cop: (Puts "Big D" into cruiser.) Watch your head there son.

by Carl Willis August 26, 2004

state pen

n. The state penitentiary (the big house, the rock, the slammer, the cooler, etc.)

LaPrell got five-to-ten in the state pen for pullin' a nine on The Man.

by Carl Willis August 26, 2004

the Res

n. American Indian reservation.

Bill got a liquor license for his shop down on the Res, and needless to say, he ain't doing too bad!

All the casinos are down on the Res.

by Carl Willis August 27, 2004

where I come from

Cliche phrase. Used as preface for one's remarks about the hardships of his or her life, ostensibly to add validity to the point that follows. Essentially any statement beginning with this phrase can be summarized as follows: "I have had a much harder life than you and hence you are in no position to argue with my point that (blah blah blah)."

"Where I come from, a nigga's rich if he can slang a 20 rock every week. So dontchoo be calling yoself PO', white boah!"

by Carl Willis September 2, 2004

nuke

vt.

1. To attack with a nuclear weapon, or to otherwise bring about widespread and utter destruction.

2. To cook a foodstuff in a microwave oven (it is a common misconception that microwave energy is a form of nuclear radiation).

3. To delete a computer user's accounts without warning, typically for abuse.

1. After years of patent hostility, US Emperor-For-Life George Bush finally nuked France in 2020, resulting in the formation of the "Freedom Sea".

2. "Just nuke those vegetables for five minutes on High, it's much quicker than steaming them."

3. The webhosting company nuked Jamal's "penile enhancement" sites because he was caught spamming.

by Carl Willis March 12, 2005