brucester's definitions

pork oil

Practically unacknowledged existence of highly porky smelling oil secreted around the anus - avoid showering for a few days to discover this. Can be smeared under the nose of a fellow camping / dormitory occupant as a punishment.

Other 'oils' exist - discover and enjoy......
Lamb oil - found in the pubes,
Cheese oil - found between toes esp. athletes foot
Bacon & onion oil - armpits
Chicken oil - hair!
Prawn oil - earns, esp if infected.

I taught the arsewipe not to snore, I gave him a pork oil moustache.

by Brucester September 10, 2006

trog

Troglodytes, cave dwellers. Caver, potholer, spelaeologist,
spelunker. A highly respectable name for anyone physically tough enough and experienced in exploring caves or potholes.
Someone of immense stamina - probably under 30 years of age.

There were actually quite a few trogs in there so it was a cool place to go drinking.

by Brucester September 11, 2006

golden hello

A term you may have previously used in business to describe a cash bonus on appointment, not in this instance though!..........

The sudden deluge of warm sweet smelling regurgitated SMA Gold infant formula that runs down your neck and shoulders during 'burping' - usually followed by a smile. It's what you get for being lazy and trying to get the whole bottle down without 'burping' mid way.

"Darling, has Jemima been fed" "Er-nope, not exactly she's
just had a golden hello"

by Brucester September 13, 2006

Power Fish

You have just woken up after a shag, you need a piss and you also need to get rid of the used condom still on your cock, you also need to make certain that the condom is totally disposed of.........enter the POWER FISH, holding the condom still in place you empty your bladder into it, then precisely positioning yourself so that the baloon of piss is directly over the deepest part of the pan, then let go immediatly with both hands. A 'bonus power fish' is sometimes achieved whereby the payload drops with such force that it vanishes round the U bend immediately without even flushing.

The science behind a bonus power fish is still poorly understood but may have something to do with the shape of the particular pan and also the volume of piss in the skin willie. BPF's still only account for 5% of Power Fish.

Re-enters the room....<Thinks> Fucking dynamite Power Fish.

She <thinks> wierd cunt, sounded like a power dump, I wonder if his arse is prolapsed?

by Brucester September 13, 2006

spam flautist

Virtuoso fellatio performer.

Presidential spam flautist Monika Lewinski lied in court again today, yet privately hoped she would be found out, as the whole point of the exercise was that she wanted to simply be catalogued in history as someone who blew the President. <Mindless cunt>

by Brucester September 13, 2006

cowsh

Mendip caving slang for cow shit.

As we entered sump five we found that it was thigh deep in cowsh.

by Brucester September 16, 2006

slocker

Mendip caving slang for a cave entrance that has been used as a dump. Possibly very old term but widly used now.

Ee slocked it down that there hole. i.e Stoke Lane Slocker

by Brucester September 16, 2006