brucester's definitions
A set up whereby someone is led to believe that they have in fact won the Lotto.
The person who's name is Leigh records the Lottery Programme, notes the winning numbers and buys a ticket the following week with these numbers on and gives it to his wife. On Saturday they both sit down as the show starts but it's 'run VT' and she doesn't realise but she is now watching last weeks show. He shares in the 'excitement' as all the numbers come up, the bastard has even included the Bonus Ball - AS WELL. He then lets her phone up Lottery HQ to claim her prize....hey why not? It's ONLY a joke... :-0
The person who's name is Leigh records the Lottery Programme, notes the winning numbers and buys a ticket the following week with these numbers on and gives it to his wife. On Saturday they both sit down as the show starts but it's 'run VT' and she doesn't realise but she is now watching last weeks show. He shares in the 'excitement' as all the numbers come up, the bastard has even included the Bonus Ball - AS WELL. He then lets her phone up Lottery HQ to claim her prize....hey why not? It's ONLY a joke... :-0
"OK Mrs X I will need a few examples of unreasonable behaviour to put before the court"
1. Bogus Lotto
2. Donkey Punches
3. He wears stockings and has a vibrator up his ass most times we have sex.
4. Conducts "Builder's Inspections" at customer's houses.
5. Casts lead weights in the shape of gold bars and paints them accordingly, ages coins with bleach and 'lets me find both while scuba diving on shipwrecks with him.
Thank you Mrs X, that should do nicely.
Leigh......you're one in a million but we all love you!
1. Bogus Lotto
2. Donkey Punches
3. He wears stockings and has a vibrator up his ass most times we have sex.
4. Conducts "Builder's Inspections" at customer's houses.
5. Casts lead weights in the shape of gold bars and paints them accordingly, ages coins with bleach and 'lets me find both while scuba diving on shipwrecks with him.
Thank you Mrs X, that should do nicely.
Leigh......you're one in a million but we all love you!
by Brucester September 18, 2006
Get the Bogus Lotto mug.Someone who is perfectly aware that you are filming or taking a shot but justifies walking right in front of the camera. (Especially if you are shooting something important.)
I was videoing my daughter in a race at school sports day,
just as she reached the finish line some perfectly cuntogenic individual walked in front of me by less than a meter.
just as she reached the finish line some perfectly cuntogenic individual walked in front of me by less than a meter.
by Brucester June 14, 2007
Get the cuntogenic mug.Honey...........I was wondering.........when you give me a
BJ...why not blow instead of suck?!?....it might work.
As she blows you RASP one out. "Hey don't blow that hard,
it's not a trumpet.....now I've had a blartkin
BJ...why not blow instead of suck?!?....it might work.
As she blows you RASP one out. "Hey don't blow that hard,
it's not a trumpet.....now I've had a blartkin
by Brucester January 31, 2008
Get the blartkin mug.Someone who just doesn’t get on with their self inflicted, otherwise shitty life within their own patch or ghetto and who keeps cropping up as an indecent and ironic cameo in polite circles.
They gain access to the well ordered and pleasant lanes of middle England by sliding in as mock Middle Englanders. Once ensconced they then un-pack themselves like a virus
and degrade and erode everyone's life, causing havoc as they un-pick the fabric of communities, clubs and charities that do not have tight enough integrity in place. Power Chavs have one minor good use and that is they unwittingly subject the real Middle Englanders to a purity test,
depressingly some fail as they espouse the Power Chavs new, “No nonsense, modern and refreshingly convenient” lifestyle including the interesting, at first, patoir. All Power Chavs have a loud voice, are quite verbose and uncannily know certain parts of the law inside out.
They gain access to the well ordered and pleasant lanes of middle England by sliding in as mock Middle Englanders. Once ensconced they then un-pack themselves like a virus
and degrade and erode everyone's life, causing havoc as they un-pick the fabric of communities, clubs and charities that do not have tight enough integrity in place. Power Chavs have one minor good use and that is they unwittingly subject the real Middle Englanders to a purity test,
depressingly some fail as they espouse the Power Chavs new, “No nonsense, modern and refreshingly convenient” lifestyle including the interesting, at first, patoir. All Power Chavs have a loud voice, are quite verbose and uncannily know certain parts of the law inside out.
That x really is a Power Chav, have you noticed? They have talked their way onto the committee, changed everything, thrown out all the old time honoured traditions, frightened away the usual volunteers and now resigned in an undignified public outburst leaving the place in a state of total collapse.
by Brucester May 22, 2007
Get the Power Chav mug.A critical and sometimes expensive condition whereby a builder goes off at a tangent and does something you didn't want. Why is it called, "Non specific"? BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T SPECIFY IT !
Opens door, "Oh no what's that?" Why have they done that? When challenged the builder will start his reply with, "What I thought was" You will think, "I am a victim of Non Specific Builderitis"
by Brucester April 10, 2008
Get the Non Specific Builderitis mug.by Brucester September 16, 2006
Get the cowsh mug.Pronounced 'idge' a suffix attached to almost any word. Invented in 1988. Whilst doing exhibition work we were asked to, "Go and put up the 'signage' to which we replied,
"And after that we are going to have some drinkage some clubbage and a bit of kebabage" Since then adding 'age' to the end of a word has spread impressively but now seems to be on the decline.
"And after that we are going to have some drinkage some clubbage and a bit of kebabage" Since then adding 'age' to the end of a word has spread impressively but now seems to be on the decline.
by Brucester September 10, 2006
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