42 definitions by brucester

Unprofessional behaviour by domestic builders whereby during their lunch break they ALWAYS inspect the contents of the underwear drawer of an absent home owner especially if she is a real honey. Passing the items round they mentally picture her wearing them....I'm told...by numerous building acquaintances.
"Arrrrrrrrgh !!! You make sure you lock those fucking monkies out when you leave tomorrow"

"Why ????? They're doing great with the conservatory"

"BECAUSE David, they've held a fucking Builder's Inspection - that's why....I can tell"
by Brucester September 18, 2006
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Draconian punishment for the fussy girfriend who keeps complaining about your unavoidabe flatulence, and who keeps escaping when you try to hold her head under the blanket.

A rich fart is released silently into your hand, you expell all air from your lungs then breath in the fart from your closed hand. You now make an amorous approach and breath the fart into her face / mouth as you kiss her. This will cure the problem as she WILL leave you. Failing this you repeat the procedure but first you bite strips of of your fingernails and wedge them between your teeth - an "indirect fart with nails"
I gave her an indirect fart
by Brucester September 10, 2006
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Farting whilst receiving a blow job.

Either by accident or on purpose.
Honey...........I was wondering.........when you give me a
BJ...why not blow instead of suck?!?....it might work.

As she blows you RASP one out. "Hey don't blow that hard,
it's not a trumpet.....now I've had a blartkin
by Brucester January 31, 2008
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Vomit. An onomatopoeia describing in particular the hearty sound of someone painfully emptying their guts
"Where's John, I thought he was with us??" "He's just about to rop up round the back of the bus shelter - we better wait for him"
by Brucester September 10, 2006
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Industrial Tribunal (UK) used to be a court designed to deal with the bad employers. It is now a sham, 1000s of good employers are ending up being IT'd due to 'no win - no fee solicitors' and an oppressive spiteful govenment.
We're not sure what we did wrong, it's so complicated. We spent £12k on legal fees in the run up to court. We made a mistake in our HR procedures and were fined £16k. I have now lost my house and my company. Turns out that the claimant has done this 3 times before.

Welcome to Industrial Tribunal in the UK !
by Brucester May 11, 2011
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British Trainspotter speak for a class 08
diesel electric shunting loco. The BTC commissioned about 1100 of them back in the late 50s and a substantial number are still in traffic.

Gronks are sometimes known as Jockos
1V57 failed just outside Reading and they had to use a Gronk to haul it in out of the way.
by Brucester February 24, 2009
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Mendip caving slang for a cave entrance that has been used as a dump. Possibly very old term but widly used now.
Ee slocked it down that there hole. i.e Stoke Lane Slocker
by Brucester September 16, 2006
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