brucester's definitions
"HEY! don't Gob Wash it you filthy chav, how can we have some NOW."
"When you go up for communion, make sure that ***** is behind you, I reckon he Gob-Washes the chalice."
"When you go up for communion, make sure that ***** is behind you, I reckon he Gob-Washes the chalice."
by Brucester September 16, 2006
Get the Gob-Washmug. "Treasure" brought up from shipwrecks on the seabed by scuba divers.
For "Treasure" read - mainly bits of brass rubbish. For "Brought up" read - furiuosly chiseled off against the clock. For "Scuba Divers" read - thieving pikeys.
For "Seabed" read - murkey depths of cold water with visibility of two metres.
For Spidge there is a heirachy of value, disregard all gold, jewells and other fantasy land nonsense the real wreck treasure chart goes something like this:-
1= Ships bell
2= Telegraph / telemotor
3= Compass binnacle
4= Helm
5= Steam whistle
6= Nice brass Nav or deck lights
7= Portholes
8= Crockery & cutlery etc
Consolation prizes for the lower ranks of the air diving one tank numpty:-
Rubber soles from dead seamans shoes, unidentified piece of brass, crockery fragment, lead shot, hooked up fishing weights, pieces of diving equipment dropped by other novices.
All of the quality items have to be reported to the Receiver Of Wreck who finds out if you are allowed to keep the stuff. The remaining detritus is used to decorate your fireplace until you get married when the wife "accidentally" puts it out for the dustman.
For "Treasure" read - mainly bits of brass rubbish. For "Brought up" read - furiuosly chiseled off against the clock. For "Scuba Divers" read - thieving pikeys.
For "Seabed" read - murkey depths of cold water with visibility of two metres.
For Spidge there is a heirachy of value, disregard all gold, jewells and other fantasy land nonsense the real wreck treasure chart goes something like this:-
1= Ships bell
2= Telegraph / telemotor
3= Compass binnacle
4= Helm
5= Steam whistle
6= Nice brass Nav or deck lights
7= Portholes
8= Crockery & cutlery etc
Consolation prizes for the lower ranks of the air diving one tank numpty:-
Rubber soles from dead seamans shoes, unidentified piece of brass, crockery fragment, lead shot, hooked up fishing weights, pieces of diving equipment dropped by other novices.
All of the quality items have to be reported to the Receiver Of Wreck who finds out if you are allowed to keep the stuff. The remaining detritus is used to decorate your fireplace until you get married when the wife "accidentally" puts it out for the dustman.
"Dived the Lanfrac last weekend"
"Hur hur, find any gold"
"Er, yes actually! a solid bar of it, unfortunately it was a Leigh Bishop trip so in fact it had been placed there and was lead cast and sprayed gold to look like one"
"Hur hur - Fools Spidge!"
"Hur hur, find any gold"
"Er, yes actually! a solid bar of it, unfortunately it was a Leigh Bishop trip so in fact it had been placed there and was lead cast and sprayed gold to look like one"
"Hur hur - Fools Spidge!"
by Brucester July 29, 2007
Get the Spidgemug. A term you may have previously used in business to describe a cash bonus on appointment, not in this instance though!..........
The sudden deluge of warm sweet smelling regurgitated SMA Gold infant formula that runs down your neck and shoulders during 'burping' - usually followed by a smile. It's what you get for being lazy and trying to get the whole bottle down without 'burping' mid way.
The sudden deluge of warm sweet smelling regurgitated SMA Gold infant formula that runs down your neck and shoulders during 'burping' - usually followed by a smile. It's what you get for being lazy and trying to get the whole bottle down without 'burping' mid way.
by Brucester September 13, 2006
Get the golden hellomug. A health professional who doesn't like NHS patients and treats them like second class citizens, then braggs about it to their staff.
"Aren't you going for a check up today?" "Nope I've suffered a right braggington, - I was struck off for answering back!"
by Brucester October 10, 2006
Get the braggingtonmug. A critical and sometimes expensive condition whereby a builder goes off at a tangent and does something you didn't want. Why is it called, "Non specific"? BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T SPECIFY IT !
Opens door, "Oh no what's that?" Why have they done that? When challenged the builder will start his reply with, "What I thought was" You will think, "I am a victim of Non Specific Builderitis"
by Brucester April 10, 2008
Get the Non Specific Builderitismug. You have just arrived home late and have furtively drilled your new girlfriend on the living room floor of her house whilst the rest of the family are asleep upstairs. The kettle is on and she has crept upstairs to the bathroom to have a piss and muck out her meat wallet. You are desperate to dry your cock......the kitchen is tidy, even you wouldn't use a tea towell!! no kitchen roll handy and no downstairs loo......It HAS to be a zaffle with the back of the living room curtains.
by Brucester September 1, 2006
Get the zafflemug. A social class. Surprisingly (or not) one that crosses all accepted class structures. A scrunter cuts corners socially.
1. Always drops litter
2. Spills red wine on your furniture
3. Goes shopping in a paint splattered tracksuit
4. Leaves toilets in a mess
5. Is an inconsiderate housemate
6. Rough handles food in a supermarket or worse takes the lid off for a smell or a lick.
7. Smokes in public and always throws the butt in the urinal
8. Ditto chewing gum.
9. Spits in public.
10. Crunches large volumes of garlic and commutes by train.
11. Is fat and has the cheek to fly by plane but only book a single seat.
12. The list is endless but I think you get the picture.
** Don't waste a good word like scrunter as a derogatory name for a female!!**
2. Spills red wine on your furniture
3. Goes shopping in a paint splattered tracksuit
4. Leaves toilets in a mess
5. Is an inconsiderate housemate
6. Rough handles food in a supermarket or worse takes the lid off for a smell or a lick.
7. Smokes in public and always throws the butt in the urinal
8. Ditto chewing gum.
9. Spits in public.
10. Crunches large volumes of garlic and commutes by train.
11. Is fat and has the cheek to fly by plane but only book a single seat.
12. The list is endless but I think you get the picture.
** Don't waste a good word like scrunter as a derogatory name for a female!!**
by Brucester April 4, 2004
Get the scruntermug.