Definitions by brett burkhardt
Fraudtarded
Committing fraud in such a way as the police will find them in five minutes such as paying your rent, phone bill, or utilities using a stolen credit card.
Paris was shocked that the police figured out she’d been using stolen credit card numbers. Of course, she was fraudtarded because she used those stolen cards to pay her rent and phone bill with them.
Fraudtarded by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
DIY Dilettante
Someone who spends all their time watching DIY shows, going to DIY websites, and reading DIY books but never actually does any DIY projects to completion.
Maggie’s roommate Sophia is a real DIY Dilettante. She’s got at least three dozen half finished projects lying around their apartment and she still hasn’t finished replacing the faucet in the 2nd bathroom.
"Honey, you need to face facts. You're a DIY Dilettante and you need to finish at least one of these projects. I mean, how hard is it to finish painting the living room wall?"
"Honey, you need to face facts. You're a DIY Dilettante and you need to finish at least one of these projects. I mean, how hard is it to finish painting the living room wall?"
DIY Dilettante by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Porno No-No
Brian thought he’d make a great porn star but his greasy hair, two inch dick, hairy back, acne scared face, Oompa Loompa orange tan, flat ass, three minute staying power, and his problem with anal leakage made him a real Porno No-No.
Porno No-No by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Trailer Treasure
When Maryann saw the black velvet painting of Elvis, Princess Diana, and Dale Earnhardt drinking beers while floating on clouds in heaven, she just couldn’t pass it up. It was just TOO great a Trailer Treasure to not buy.
Trailer Treasure by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Coupon Cunt
A person who has a thousand coupons that they drag everywhere with them and gets pissed if the one they try and use can’t be accepted.
What should have been a 3 minute stop to get a pack of smokes turned into a 20 minute ordeal because the Coupon Cunt in front of me refused to accept the fact that the store will not accept a coupon for cat food that expired in 2003.
Coupon Cunt by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Exposure Disclosure
Rick didn’t mind working for the county health dept but he hated having to try and give exposure disclosures when all he had to work with were screen names.
Mrs. Manners says, if you’re going to make an exposure disclosure you should at least have the balls to do it by phone.
Mrs. Manners says, if you’re going to make an exposure disclosure you should at least have the balls to do it by phone.
Exposure Disclosure by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Post Secret Poser
Someone who sends in post cards to Post Secret about things that everyone already knows or who brags about their secret being picked.
Josh was a Post Secret poser and would send in post cards every week about the time he pissed his pants at prom. Like no one would figure that one out.
"Tony, don’t be such a Post Secret poser. If you’re going to send in secrets shut up about it."
"Tony, don’t be such a Post Secret poser. If you’re going to send in secrets shut up about it."
Post Secret Poser by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008