brainyuck's definitions

pmail

The message sent by a dog peeing on a tree, fire hydrant, etc, and received by another dog's sniffing.

"Stop yanking my leash, dude. I'm trying to read my pmail."

From: Alpha Male
To: All
Subject: Love and War

New stud in town. 25" tall. Good genes. Looking for healthy bitch in heat. Will fight all rivals.

Reply:

Hey big guy - I'm your mate.
Check this out and come get me.

by brainyuck November 1, 2010

procastinate

To waste time convincing somebody that they have to get a cast put on their broken limb.

Ortho Doc 1: It took me 10 minutes to convince that dude he needed a cast and couldn't go home with just an elastic bandage and crutches!

Ortho Doc 2: Yeah, sometimes ya just gotta procastinate with these guys. Part of the job.

by brainyuck July 17, 2011

species dysphoria

a feeling that one is in the body of the wrong species

Alyssa: I told the shrink that I feel like a wild animal trapped in a human body, and she said it sounds like classic species dysphoria.
Jacques: I know I was meant to be a dolphin. Why did I end up a sexy human instead?? Species dysphoria sucks.
Jerry: If only I'd been born a bird, I wouldn't have to spend so much money on flying, parachuting, hang-gliding, sky-diving and base-jumping. Damned species dysphoria.

by brainyuck June 16, 2015

Ogleheimer's

A condition seen in aging baby-boomers in which the sight of a much younger gorgeous person causes acute memory loss.

Betty: "I'd just finished checking out at the supermarket yesterday when I saw the most incredible sexy young guy in the next line. I walked around a little bit to get some better views and then I followed him to his car. I was about to drive after him, but when I got to my car, I realized I'd left my hand bag at the counter. By the time I rushed back, he was gone."
Boopsie: "I'd say you got a really bad case of Ogleheimer's."

by brainyuck June 12, 2011

Openheimer's

The condition in which you think you forgot, or actually forgot, to close something important - your car, front door, stove, etc.

I can't remember if I locked the car. I must be getting Openheimer's.
Damn, I left the car open again. I've got Openheimer's for sure!

by brainyuck May 12, 2011

polypsicle

What you get from an ENT surgeon after she rips something out of your throat.

Opera Singer: "I just had a polyp removed from my vocal chord and all they gave me for my excruciating pain was a lousy lemon polypsicle!"

by brainyuck August 14, 2011

Fluzheimer's

The condition in which a really nasty viral infection causes your mind and memory to shut down

William: I felt so sick this weekend, I didn't even check my calendar and I totally forgot about Kate's party.
Phil: Sounds like you just had a bad case of Fluzheimer's. Besides, Harry was there and he grossed everyone out.

by brainyuck October 22, 2011