The condition in which a really nasty viral infection causes your mind and memory to shut down
William: I felt so sick this weekend, I didn't even check my calendar and I totally forgot about Kate's party.
Phil: Sounds like you just had a bad case of Fluzheimer's. Besides, Harry was there and he grossed everyone out.
What you get from an ENT surgeon after she rips something out of your throat.
Opera Singer: "I just had a polyp removed from my vocal chord and all they gave me for my excruciating pain was a lousy lemon polypsicle!"
The condition in which you think you forgot, or actually forgot, to close something important - your car, front door, stove, etc.
I can't remember if I locked the car. I must be getting Openheimer's.
Damn, I left the car open again. I've got Openheimer's for sure!
A condition seen in aging baby-boomers in which the sight of a much younger gorgeous person causes acute memory loss.
Betty: "I'd just finished checking out at the supermarket yesterday when I saw the most incredible sexy young guy in the next line. I walked around a little bit to get some better views and then I followed him to his car. I was about to drive after him, but when I got to my car, I realized I'd left my hand bag at the counter. By the time I rushed back, he was gone."
Boopsie: "I'd say you got a really bad case of Ogleheimer's."
The act of kicking (with or without boots) a dying computer to get it to boot up, when nothing else works.
My PC is so old I've got to boot it to get it started.
To waste time convincing somebody that they have to get a cast put on their broken limb.
Ortho Doc 1: It took me 10 minutes to convince that dude he needed a cast and couldn't go home with just an elastic bandage and crutches!
Ortho Doc 2: Yeah, sometimes ya just gotta procastinate with these guys. Part of the job.
a feeling that one is in the body of the wrong species
Alyssa: I told the shrink that I feel like a wild animal trapped in a human body, and she said it sounds like classic species dysphoria.
Jacques: I know I was meant to be a dolphin. Why did I end up a sexy human instead?? Species dysphoria sucks.
Jerry: If only I'd been born a bird, I wouldn't have to spend so much money on flying, parachuting, hang-gliding, sky-diving and base-jumping. Damned species dysphoria.
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