Ogleheimer's

A condition seen in aging baby-boomers in which the sight of a much younger gorgeous person causes acute memory loss.

Betty: "I'd just finished checking out at the supermarket yesterday when I saw the most incredible sexy young guy in the next line. I walked around a little bit to get some better views and then I followed him to his car. I was about to drive after him, but when I got to my car, I realized I'd left my hand bag at the counter. By the time I rushed back, he was gone."
Boopsie: "I'd say you got a really bad case of Ogleheimer's."

by brainyuck May 18, 2011

species dysphoria

a feeling that one is in the body of the wrong species

Alyssa: I told the shrink that I feel like a wild animal trapped in a human body, and she said it sounds like classic species dysphoria.
Jacques: I know I was meant to be a dolphin. Why did I end up a sexy human instead?? Species dysphoria sucks.
Jerry: If only I'd been born a bird, I wouldn't have to spend so much money on flying, parachuting, hang-gliding, sky-diving and base-jumping. Damned species dysphoria.

by brainyuck June 13, 2015

polypsicle

What you get from an ENT surgeon after she rips something out of your throat.

Opera Singer: "I just had a polyp removed from my vocal chord and all they gave me for my excruciating pain was a lousy lemon polypsicle!"

by brainyuck May 23, 2011

Apocalypsicle

What you should definitely include in your zombie apocalypse kit frozen compartment.

Mom: "Hey kids! What flavors of Apocalypsicles should I buy for our zombie kit?"

by brainyuck May 23, 2011

Openheimer's

The condition in which you think you forgot, or actually forgot, to close something important - your car, front door, stove, etc.

I can't remember if I locked the car. I must be getting Openheimer's.
Damn, I left the car open again. I've got Openheimer's for sure!

by brainyuck April 22, 2011

Fluzheimer's

The condition in which a really nasty viral infection causes your mind and memory to shut down

William: I felt so sick this weekend, I didn't even check my calendar and I totally forgot about Kate's party.
Phil: Sounds like you just had a bad case of Fluzheimer's. Besides, Harry was there and he grossed everyone out.

by brainyuck May 29, 2011

pmail

The message sent by a dog peeing on a tree, fire hydrant, etc, and received by another dog's sniffing.

"Stop yanking my leash, dude. I'm trying to read my pmail."

From: Alpha Male
To: All
Subject: Love and War

New stud in town. 25" tall. Good genes. Looking for healthy bitch in heat. Will fight all rivals.

Reply:

Hey big guy - I'm your mate.
Check this out and come get me.

by brainyuck November 01, 2010