bob sometimes's definitions

Laptop

Well OBVIOUSLY its a computer but it also means a woman who is sexy but small of stature and can be easily picked up, moved around, etc, during Horizontal Jogging. Damn! There's another word I'll have to define.

"Dave's girlfriend couldn't reach a high shelf without a ladder and a couple of phone books but he felt it was handy to have a laptop in the bedroom."

by Bob Sometimes January 9, 2006

minipop

(a) Descriptive of a sexy girl of diminutive proportions who (1) would look extremely attractive in a "school uniform/jailbait" situation and (2) looks like they might be up for it. (similar to a laptop or a throwabout

(b) To "crack one off" while contemplating the above. Named after an early Channel 4 program designed to appeal to paedophiles in which under-12s dressed up and performed pop songs.
Please note: A Minipop should not be confused with a "Krankywank" which is something quite different and totally unacceptable.

(A) "Did you see that Lisa Rogers slutting about on the Big Breakfast? Talk about a minipop!"

(B) Watching Britney's "One More Time" video always caused Gervaise to squeeze off a minipop.

by Bob Sometimes June 6, 2005

tiger

A big orange and black striped liony thing with sharp claws and rather a nasty bite. They don't usually eat men but that's only because they don't usually get the chance. Obviously, if you live near a tiger it may consider eating you. Basically, what I am saying is - the further away you live from a tiger, the less chance you have of getting eaten by one. I live in Selhurst in South London and NOBODY here has been eaten by a tiger since 1922 and I'm not even sure that it was a real tiger then (although I suppose if it ate someone it must have been a large carnivore so it may as well have been a tiger as anything else). Perhaps it was some sort of mock-tiger. Or maybe a stripey bear or something. I don't know, I wasn't even born then and you know what old people are like... The whole thing is probably a tissue of lies from start to finish. Anyway, thats sort of what a tiger is. So thats cleared that up then. Actually, I don't know why I bothered. I've never met a single person who didn't have some idea of what a tiger was so it seems a bit pointless describing one. I don't really think that the purpose of urban dictionary is to define the bleeding obvious. It really seems to be a forum for 'street' types to say things like "Yo!" and "Your mutherfucking sister's a ho!" and "Janice is such a slut" etc. Even such people as this probably know what a tiger is.

" I say George, your hand looks sore."
" Yeah, a tiger bit me. It's true, honest, go on, hit me in the stomach!"

or

"Mary, you'll never get anywhere in life by just lying around without a head, you know."
"Gurgle gurgle gurgle"
(Translation: "This is true mother, but as a tiger has bitten off my head and eaten it, I'm afraid I have no choice. In fact, that is the very reason why I'm finding it a little difficult to communicate with you at the moment and so I shall stop forthwith. Goodbye for ever")

by Bob Sometimes April 29, 2005

juice

Slang term used by electricians for electric current.

"OK Frank, I've wired up his gonads. Turn on the juice."

by Bob Sometimes May 13, 2005

eat me out

To lick pussy in a very deep and thorough manner.

"Listen Johnny, If you don't finish your homework, I'm not going to let you eat me out tonight."

by Bob Sometimes September 4, 2004

cuntfull

To be truly fed up with something, usually if you are a female.

"Dodi, I've had a cuntfull of that jug-eared husband of mine, fancy taking me for a drive round Paris?"

or

"Listen Kurt, I've had a cuntfull of your miserable songs, why don't you blow your fucking head off with that shotgun!"

by Bob Sometimes September 4, 2004

wank catcher

A toady, sycophant, crawly person.

"Tonight on Question Time we have big-mouthed fuckwit Janet Street-Porter, grinning geek Professor Steven Hawking and Tony Blair's wank catcher, Peter Mandleson."

by Bob Sometimes September 4, 2004