benighse's definitions

Sarahdipity

Political serendipity by a person named Sarah.

Serendipity is the effect by which one accidentally stumbles upon something fortunate, especially while looking for something entirely unrelated.

Sarahdipity is the political effect of a Sarah accidentally stumbling around on the political stage while spouting unrelated babble, platitudes and winking.

My Joe Sixpack background qualifies me to run as a silly republican; and look, I got a $million dollar book deal-Is this Sarahdipity or what?

by benighse November 19, 2009

Niplify

Nipples that go from flaccid to inflated.

We saw her niplify. She went out into the cool air with her skank top on and her nipples got niplified in seconds to stand out and be noticed by all passing by.

by benighse November 19, 2009

Palintologist

Palintologist: Like Sarah, a person who finds a belief in creationism is a complete and proper substitute for science.

Sarah, as a renowned Palintologist, is clear that humans did not evolve from dinosaurs, or any other pet species. Noah simply didn't have room for the dinosaurs on the boat, so he buried his pet dinosaurs for later generations to find and wonder why the heck they didn't survive with him. And if Moses hadn't dropped and broke the second slate of Commandments, we would have seen that the real 11th Commandment was "Thou shalt bury all your pet dinosaurs because they won't fit on Noah's boat." This will all be fully explained in her next Palintologist psuedo science book, which should not be burned.

by benighse November 20, 2009

hemorrhoid tourniquet

Hemorrhoid tourniquet: trying on thong underwear and getting your hemorrhoids caught in the floss when you pull them off.

During some man-talk over beers, one of the guys explained how he tried on his girlfriend's thong during a hemorrhoid flare-up and it got really squeezed as he took them off. His beer buddy didn't miss a beat as he explained "No Pain, No Gain" and confirmed that hemorrhoid tourniquets like that were coming into vogue at old man frat parties.

by benighse November 22, 2009

digital lipstick on your collar

Digital lipstick on your collar is the email, text or google trail a foolish stud or mistress leaves each other from a sexual dalliance as they talk dirty or set up appointments which can be found later to embarrass all involved when they go public.

My goodness Tiger, did your wife find the digital lipstick on your collar from my sex text to you on your iPhone? If the check doesn't clear, my lawyer and publicist have my copy to supply to the scandal sheets as well.

by benighse December 9, 2009

chubnublets

noun, New age sweet talk for commenting on nice breasts during play time, or discussing with a buddy in public when simply blurting out "nice breasts" won't do.

Gosh, what a nice set of chubnublets. I'll bet those would be pleasant bedroom toys when the clothes are peeled off. That blast of cold air sure niplified that nice rack of chubnublets walking by.

by benighse December 12, 2009

slooshy

A slooshy is having sex with your (girlfriend, mistress, wife) while she is on the rag.

Hey dear, let's go do the dirty wambo. I can't honey, I'm on the rag. That's okay, just toss the towel on the bed and we'll have a slooshy. It's all good.

by benighse December 20, 2009