bachelor bob's definitions
ca•rap•ture | kə 'RAP chər |
noun
1. The highly publicized 'Carmageddon' event of Los Angeles, California's closure of I-405 beginning on July 16, 2011, which was in actuality as much of a non-event as the highly publicized 'Rapture' event of May 21, 2011 (i.e. car-rapture). Emphasis, both in pronunciation and interpretation, are placed on the crap component.
noun
1. The highly publicized 'Carmageddon' event of Los Angeles, California's closure of I-405 beginning on July 16, 2011, which was in actuality as much of a non-event as the highly publicized 'Rapture' event of May 21, 2011 (i.e. car-rapture). Emphasis, both in pronunciation and interpretation, are placed on the crap component.
Just like the recently predicted Rapture, lots of live T.V. reporters were standing by for the I-405's Carmageddon. Unfortunately for their ratings, it turned out to be a Carapture.
by Bachelor boB July 17, 2011
Get the Carapture mug.|pē ē elz|
noun
Acronym for Pussy-Eating Lips. The equivalent of DSLs (Dick-Sucking Lips), but used on a vulva. Typically just fuller than average lips, but on a face one would enjoy receiving cunnilingus from. Can belong to either a man or a woman.
noun
Acronym for Pussy-Eating Lips. The equivalent of DSLs (Dick-Sucking Lips), but used on a vulva. Typically just fuller than average lips, but on a face one would enjoy receiving cunnilingus from. Can belong to either a man or a woman.
If Angelina Jolie ate hair pie, her DSLs would be mad PELs!
White chicks often develop jungle fever when they realize that the average spear chucker not only has more meat whistle, but also some serious PELs.
White chicks often develop jungle fever when they realize that the average spear chucker not only has more meat whistle, but also some serious PELs.
by Bachelor boB December 15, 2011
Get the PELs mug.|iˈˌnəθi ng |
n. An enlisted member of the US military below the rank of E-5. Someone without sufficient authority over anyone/anything to cause any real affect. Considered inept by anyone E-6 or higher, regardless of how demonstrably capable. Used in a derogatory fashion by E-6 and above; used in a amiable fashion by E-5 and below. *The* place to be in the US military.
n. An enlisted member of the US military below the rank of E-5. Someone without sufficient authority over anyone/anything to cause any real affect. Considered inept by anyone E-6 or higher, regardless of how demonstrably capable. Used in a derogatory fashion by E-6 and above; used in a amiable fashion by E-5 and below. *The* place to be in the US military.
Shitstain: "This P-way hasn't been swabbed in over 12 hours! Get some E-nothing in here with a bucket."
E-5: "Time to bust up the Khakis with an E-nothing luncheon."
E-5: "Time to bust up the Khakis with an E-nothing luncheon."
by Bachelor boB June 18, 2010
Get the E-nothing mug.n. A person who is sexually attractive due to the entirely natural state of their body; the person's defining characteristic. Not intentionally masculine, feminine, or androgynous, as those labels are continuously redefined by each society. Rather, a person who is overtly real, unmodified, and physically defined only by their genes and their interaction with the environment.
adj. (of a person) sexually attracted to unmodified people.
• involving or characterized by sexual attraction to natural body image : hikersexual desire.
adj. (of a person) sexually attracted to unmodified people.
• involving or characterized by sexual attraction to natural body image : hikersexual desire.
Oh Shari. I just can't take it anymore. All society offers me are metrosexuals, poofs, prettyboys, armchair warriors, billboard cowboys, and emos. I'm gonna' thru-hike the A.T. in hopes of finding one of those dreamy hikersexuals. You know; a *real* man!
<beeeep> Hey Bob... just wanted you to know. I threw my trophy wife out yesterday. I got tired of waking up next to someone I didn't recognize or want until after she'd spent 3 hours putting herself together every morning. I quit my job, put my place on the market, and am headed for the P.C.T. to locate one of those backcountry hikersexual babes. You know; a chick with brown body hair, everywhere nature intends.
<beeeep> Hey Bob... just wanted you to know. I threw my trophy wife out yesterday. I got tired of waking up next to someone I didn't recognize or want until after she'd spent 3 hours putting herself together every morning. I quit my job, put my place on the market, and am headed for the P.C.T. to locate one of those backcountry hikersexual babes. You know; a chick with brown body hair, everywhere nature intends.
by Bachelor boB December 30, 2007
Get the hikersexual mug.|ˈfrāvən|
n. compound word derived from 'fake' and 'raven,' the later term used to label naturally black hair on the rare person whose ethnicity does not dictate black hair color (e.g. Celtic, Southern European, and Baltic). This distinctly differs from an ethnicity that does dictate black hair (e.g. African, Asian, and Native American). Ergo, fraven is artificially black hair on someone who could potentially have naturally black hair. Term is gender neutral.
Most often found on emo and goth individuals. Intended as a counter-culture statement against flonde (fake blonde) and the accompanying mindset / disposition. Those with fraven hair virtually never grasp that fake hair color cannot be a true antithesis to another fake hair color. As artificially colored hair now makes up ~97% of all American females between the ages of 12 and 65, the truly counter-culture hair color is actually 'natural.'
n. compound word derived from 'fake' and 'raven,' the later term used to label naturally black hair on the rare person whose ethnicity does not dictate black hair color (e.g. Celtic, Southern European, and Baltic). This distinctly differs from an ethnicity that does dictate black hair (e.g. African, Asian, and Native American). Ergo, fraven is artificially black hair on someone who could potentially have naturally black hair. Term is gender neutral.
Most often found on emo and goth individuals. Intended as a counter-culture statement against flonde (fake blonde) and the accompanying mindset / disposition. Those with fraven hair virtually never grasp that fake hair color cannot be a true antithesis to another fake hair color. As artificially colored hair now makes up ~97% of all American females between the ages of 12 and 65, the truly counter-culture hair color is actually 'natural.'
Bob: "I see y'ur little girl's hair has darkened from Disney blonde to a boring, unsexy, natural brunette. How long b'fore her 'friends' convince her to turn herself into a flonde or a fraven?"
Paul: "Since her mother is not shallow enough to artificially color her hair and we promote education, not appearance, our daughter does not have any counter-productive role models."
Bob: "What're you, a terrorist? You tryin' to destroy A'murica?!"
Paul: "Since her mother is not shallow enough to artificially color her hair and we promote education, not appearance, our daughter does not have any counter-productive role models."
Bob: "What're you, a terrorist? You tryin' to destroy A'murica?!"
by Bachelor boB December 29, 2015
Get the fraven mug.colloquialism
In India, all litter, urine, and feces eventually makes its way into the rivers, thanks to a complete lack of waste collection and water treatment, much like pre-20th Century Europe, USA/CAN, etc. Indians know this, but try not to/do not think about it, especially when 'cleansing' themselves by 'bathing' in the brownish-grey, litter and sewage filled 'sacred' waters of the Ganges/Ganga, which they further pollute with religious offerings (i.e. decorative litter) and dead bodies (not an exaggeration). Such (willful) ignorance eventually bites everyone in the ass. Ergo, any flagrant environmentally damaging human behavior can be lumped under the colloquialism 'blessing the Ganges.'
In India, all litter, urine, and feces eventually makes its way into the rivers, thanks to a complete lack of waste collection and water treatment, much like pre-20th Century Europe, USA/CAN, etc. Indians know this, but try not to/do not think about it, especially when 'cleansing' themselves by 'bathing' in the brownish-grey, litter and sewage filled 'sacred' waters of the Ganges/Ganga, which they further pollute with religious offerings (i.e. decorative litter) and dead bodies (not an exaggeration). Such (willful) ignorance eventually bites everyone in the ass. Ergo, any flagrant environmentally damaging human behavior can be lumped under the colloquialism 'blessing the Ganges.'
Cop: "Seeing how your McDonald's bag and Bacon McDouble wrapper are still stuck to my windshield, you won't mind this citation for littering."
Dwayne: "Yo, that ain't trash. That's just me usin' my's Constitutional right to freedom of religion. I was blessing the Ganges, dolla' menu style."
Elizabeth: "Why are you coming back in from outside? I thought you went to the bathroom."
Elly-May: "There was too long of a line for the one stall, so I headed for the alley beside the bar and blessed the Ganges."
Thaddeus: "Um, was that used engine oil I saw you dumping into the storm water drain this morning when I was leaving for the farmers market?!"
Ted: "Naw, Cuz. I just used 10W/40 to totally bless the Ganges."
Dwayne: "Yo, that ain't trash. That's just me usin' my's Constitutional right to freedom of religion. I was blessing the Ganges, dolla' menu style."
Elizabeth: "Why are you coming back in from outside? I thought you went to the bathroom."
Elly-May: "There was too long of a line for the one stall, so I headed for the alley beside the bar and blessed the Ganges."
Thaddeus: "Um, was that used engine oil I saw you dumping into the storm water drain this morning when I was leaving for the farmers market?!"
Ted: "Naw, Cuz. I just used 10W/40 to totally bless the Ganges."
by Bachelor boB December 17, 2013
Get the blessing the Ganges mug.When a woman momentarily possesses the mental state of a man (i.e. pays attention and thinks rationally). This is apparently a novel state for most First World women, nearly akin to achieving orgasm.
In a moment of mindfulness, I put down my Danielle Steele novel and felt a wave of despair and suicidal thoughts, suddenly seeing my life for the pointlessly hollow shell of consumerism that it is. Then I downed a mimosa and admired my nails until the clarity passed.
by Bachelor boB July 11, 2021
Get the mindfulness mug.