author 's definitions

sport utility vehicle

A terrorist fundraiser on wheels. A machine that turns large amounts of the world's bloodiest conflict commodity into a poison gas so fat-rich people can get from their televisions to their sedentary jobs without having to stand up.

When filling your sport utility vehicle and watching the numbers on the pump go up, somewhere the same thing is happening to a terrorist's bank account. Stop buying these things you vain, insecure little twats.

by author October 14, 2006

Irish plague

Irish plague: alcoholism

My granny died of the Irish plague.

by author September 28, 2006

canary

Someone that you let go first to make sure it is safe. Used sometimes by video-gamers. For instance, when the canary gets killed, springs the trap, takes the fall etc, it will tell you where the dangers/enemies are. Origin: coal miners used to keep a canary in the mine, when it died they knew there was poison gas.

Looks dangerous in there, let the canary go first.

by author January 1, 2007

Dick Cheney

An oily, whorefaced, bean-stealing enemy of the people. Dick Cheney completed the long-rumored merger of Halliburton and the Whitehouse. Under Dick Cheney’s guidance Halliburton became a de facto government agency, overseeing policy decisions as well as spending billions in public funds. Dick Cheney also shot a senior citizen in the face, while poaching quail, at a canned hunt (after drinking). He was then taken off the NRA Christmas card list.

Which feeble oligarch attempted to throw a pitch at a Nationals’ game but was too weak to make it over the plate?
A. Montgomery Burns
B. Dick Cheney

The answer is B.

by Author June 17, 2006

Tom Delay

Former house majority leader; resigned in disgrace. A criminally insane political prostitute with no conscience. Tom Delay is known to give handjobs to lobbyists for wooden nickels.

Tom Delay says: I'll jerk you off for a cheeseburger and a trip to St. Andrews.

by author July 16, 2006

Megawatts

A doctor prescribed bath to treat heterosexuality in which the person affected soaks in warm water while ten litres of boiled semen is poured over their head.

That person smells like they just had a megawatts or two.

by Author March 7, 2003

Can

The "can" is an inferior fighter or player (often an unknown or one with a poor record) that is set against the favorite solely for the purpose of losing and making the latter look good. Comeback fights are often against cans.

I'm not going to bother watching the Crocop fight, he's up against some can and it's only going to last 30 seconds.

by author February 5, 2007