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authoor's definitions

fortune crookie

When you crack your fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie takes your fortune and reads it first, so as to make the fortune theirs. Similar to the hamburglar, only with fortune cookies.

Legend has it that the first person to read the fortune, after the cookie has been opened, will own that fortune, unless the fortune is read aloud, by which the fortune becomes no longer valid.
When Fundo cracked his fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie ran past and grabbed the fortune out of the cookie before Fundo had a chance to read it.
by authOOr June 29, 2006
mugGet the fortune crookiemug.

dirtface

the feeling of dried up dirt, sweat, and/or sex juice on your face after a long day of hard work.
After a long day of hard work, Fundo got home and slept, only to find the Shroud of Fundo on his pillow when he awoke. He thought it was a message from the messiah, but it was really just his dirtface.
by authOOr June 27, 2006
mugGet the dirtfacemug.

day killer

Someone who's had a bad day, and uses their negative emotions against you, or someone in a terrible mood who tries to make everyone feel the same way. All in all, they bring everyone down with their negative energy to bring themselves up. Similar to a party pooper.
Mary D. and Elizabeth got so drunk at the party last night, they woke up in a pile of vomit next to an old man. When they went to school, they dumped on everyone they saw. Everyone did not enjoy shit on their faces, so they called Mary D. and Elizabeth "the day killers."
by authOOr July 5, 2006
mugGet the day killermug.

apple

Fundo wanted to put his worm in the apple, but not without a mackintosh.
by authOOr June 30, 2006
mugGet the applemug.

free gift

A free gift is oral sex with no expectations of getting some back.
Fundo offered his girlfriend a free gift because he did not want her to see the pimple on his balls.
by authOOr June 26, 2006
mugGet the free giftmug.

pimple

Nudder: What's poppin', homie?
Homie: Your pimple.
Nudder: Damn. You're right. Look at all that puss.
by authOOr June 19, 2006
mugGet the pimplemug.

ready

Fundo: Check out that freshman. She's gotta be ready.
by authOOr August 24, 2006
mugGet the readymug.

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