authOOr's definitions

free gift

A free gift is oral sex with no expectations of getting some back.

Fundo offered his girlfriend a free gift because he did not want her to see the pimple on his balls.

by authOOr June 26, 2006

bounty hunter

A bounty hunter is someone who wants to be a cop, but wasn't good enough to become one. As a result, they become stalker snitches.

As a bounty hunter, Fundo followed his sister around until he thought it was time to call police. What a stalker snitch.

by authOOr September 6, 2006

keep your hands to yourself

When alone in a room, it is a phrase a woman says to a pervert when she's being groped when she only wants to see you masturbate. When around other people, it's a cry of rape.

Fundo grabbed Flenda's booby. Flenda screamed at Fundo, "Keep your hands to yourself!!!" Fundo proceeded to yank it in front of her.

by authOOr July 6, 2006

ready

One who is eighteen years old.

Fundo: Check out that freshman. She's gotta be ready.

by authOOr August 24, 2006

VAGINA

Very Amazing Goodies In North America

VAGINA is that North American pussy, excluding Canada, Greenland, Hawaii, Mexico and the Central American countries.

by authOOr August 8, 2006

fortune crookie

When you crack your fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie takes your fortune and reads it first, so as to make the fortune theirs. Similar to the hamburglar, only with fortune cookies.

Legend has it that the first person to read the fortune, after the cookie has been opened, will own that fortune, unless the fortune is read aloud, by which the fortune becomes no longer valid.

When Fundo cracked his fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie ran past and grabbed the fortune out of the cookie before Fundo had a chance to read it.

by authOOr June 29, 2006

dirtface

the feeling of dried up dirt, sweat, and/or sex juice on your face after a long day of hard work.

After a long day of hard work, Fundo got home and slept, only to find the Shroud of Fundo on his pillow when he awoke. He thought it was a message from the messiah, but it was really just his dirtface.

by authOOr June 27, 2006