authOOr's definitions

fortune crookie

When you crack your fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie takes your fortune and reads it first, so as to make the fortune theirs. Similar to the hamburglar, only with fortune cookies.

Legend has it that the first person to read the fortune, after the cookie has been opened, will own that fortune, unless the fortune is read aloud, by which the fortune becomes no longer valid.

When Fundo cracked his fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie ran past and grabbed the fortune out of the cookie before Fundo had a chance to read it.

by authOOr June 29, 2006

dirtface

the feeling of dried up dirt, sweat, and/or sex juice on your face after a long day of hard work.

After a long day of hard work, Fundo got home and slept, only to find the Shroud of Fundo on his pillow when he awoke. He thought it was a message from the messiah, but it was really just his dirtface.

by authOOr June 27, 2006

plasterbate

Masturbating to make a mold of your penile unit with plaster of paris.

Fundo wanted to share his penis with the world, so he plasterbated, with hopes of becoming extremely wealthy.

by authOOr June 27, 2006

storegasm

The excitement you get when walking into a store where every piece of merchandise is a piece of merchandise you would like to purchase.

or

The orgasm you reach while fornicating in a store.

Fundo had a storegasm when he walked into the wholesale porn shop.

by authOOr July 10, 2006

dipsut

dipsut is stupid. stupid is dipsut.

stupid is dipsut. dipsut is stupid.

by authOOr June 27, 2006

titty bar

A strip club directed towards the heterosexual male audience.

Fundo's uncle straightened Fundo out by taking him to a titty bar.

by authOOr June 29, 2006

third string

A third string is the backup to your second string booty call hoe. Definitely unwanted, they're an easy and guaranteed lay.

Fundo's second string hoe was busy pig roasting, so Fundo called up his backup to his backupe. Though he didn't really dig her like that, he knew that she was a third string hoe and that anything goes.

by authOOr July 7, 2006