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authOOr's definitions

free gift

A free gift is oral sex with no expectations of getting some back.
Fundo offered his girlfriend a free gift because he did not want her to see the pimple on his balls.
by authOOr June 26, 2006
mugGet the free giftmug.

keep your hands to yourself

When alone in a room, it is a phrase a woman says to a pervert when she's being groped when she only wants to see you masturbate. When around other people, it's a cry of rape.
Fundo grabbed Flenda's booby. Flenda screamed at Fundo, "Keep your hands to yourself!!!" Fundo proceeded to yank it in front of her.
by authOOr July 6, 2006
mugGet the keep your hands to yourselfmug.

fortune crookie

When you crack your fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie takes your fortune and reads it first, so as to make the fortune theirs. Similar to the hamburglar, only with fortune cookies.

Legend has it that the first person to read the fortune, after the cookie has been opened, will own that fortune, unless the fortune is read aloud, by which the fortune becomes no longer valid.
When Fundo cracked his fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie ran past and grabbed the fortune out of the cookie before Fundo had a chance to read it.
by authOOr June 29, 2006
mugGet the fortune crookiemug.

dirtface

the feeling of dried up dirt, sweat, and/or sex juice on your face after a long day of hard work.
After a long day of hard work, Fundo got home and slept, only to find the Shroud of Fundo on his pillow when he awoke. He thought it was a message from the messiah, but it was really just his dirtface.
by authOOr June 27, 2006
mugGet the dirtfacemug.

learning a new language

when you are learning a new language, you are working on a new piece of ass.
Fundo's girlfriend told him that she was learning a new language, so Fundo decided to choke a bitch.
by authOOr June 27, 2006
mugGet the learning a new languagemug.

dick flick

A dick flick is a movie you bring your chick to, which will more than likely get your dick some action during the movie screening.
Fundo thought he was taking his girlfriend to a dick flick, but realized it was a chick flick when she was crying on his shoulder. He then turned the movie into a cry job.
by authOOr June 29, 2006
mugGet the dick flickmug.

gogo bar

Fundo asked his uncle to take him to the gogo bar, after which, Fundo's uncle started calling Fundo a fag.
by authOOr June 29, 2006
mugGet the gogo barmug.

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